


Afterlight

by ginsbergsunflowers



Series: Afterlight Saga [1]
Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Twins, Angst, Brief homophobia, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance, Series, Slow Burn, Slurs, Swearing, and remains a sweetheart, jacob black goes untouched by smeyer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-18
Updated: 2019-10-03
Packaged: 2020-10-20 22:44:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 52,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20683166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ginsbergsunflowers/pseuds/ginsbergsunflowers
Summary: afterlight—noun1. the light visible in the sky after sunset; afterglow.2. a view of past events; retrospect.syn. change; rewritingA re-imagining of Twilight in which Bella has a twin brother, Alexander Swan, who develops a fierce and profound connection with Jacob. (aka a Twinlight AU). Originally inspired by a theory that Bella is a descendant from vampires, and takes place in said universe.





	1. Where I Come From

**Author's Note:**

> The link to the theory about Bella "I had been born to be a vampire" Swan being a descendant from vampires (and therefore her brother in this series as well):
> 
> https://www.reddit.com/r/FanTheories/comments/3xr3qu/twilight_bella_swan_is_so_powerful_as_a_vampire/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x

Dark sand sticking and sifting between toes. Hushing waves as steady as beating hearts. Shining sun and eyes.

Yeah, they could stay like this forever. Their own little form of immortality, not that they felt the need to possess the pale faces’ curse-disguised-as-a-blessing. Because this — all this love, these bonds, this family — this was a real blessing. Maybe even heaven.

Umber eyes followed the dancing, gamboling frames of friends splashing in the coastline with elated abandon. One of the boys turned toward the shore with purposeful slowness, soaking up the blissful scenes around them. He caught the eyes that watched him oh-so protectively and lovingly, a dazzling smile pulling on his lips.

Jacob’s breath hitched, caught up in the butterflies fluttering around in his chest. He was rooted in the spot he sat as that dazzling smile sauntered closer.

“Enjoying yourself over here?” he called out.

“You have no idea, Alessio,” Jacob’s smile grew to match the mirth of the boy dropping down next to him. “I just don’t want to forget any of this for even one second,” he breathed.

The paler boy tilted his head, eyes squinting at Jacob like he was some kind of work of art to be mesmerized by. “Even if you do forget one second,” he began softly, “you’ll have plenty of days filled with moments just as good to take its place.” Jacob threaded his fingers through the boy’s hair and pulled him in until their lips met.

—

Each of the Swan kids had a miniature potted cactus in hand and a duffel bag of other belongings slung over their shoulders. They had agreed it would be for the best to stay with Charlie for a while — Renee deserved the freedom, and it had been too long since they spent quality time with Dad, or at least that’s the conclusion they had come to together. 

“I haven’t really touched your rooms other than to keep them clean — they should pretty much be intact how you last left them…” Charlie rambled off. Bella nodded distractedly, following her father and brother’s lead into the house. “I guess I’ll let you two get settled in.” He took his leave as his kids refamiliarized themselves with the house.

They ambled towards their parallel bedrooms at the top of the stairs. A nod from one twin to the other and each turned toward their respective doors. 

“A L E X A N D E R” in wonky faded cursive was still taped to the door. Alex reminded himself to take that down later. 

His room was… the same. Light teal walls, ginger colored comforter, dark wooden desk to the right of the door. All the same. Alex didn’t know what he expected, Charlie had said the rooms went untouched, but he didn’t expect to feel accustomed to his old bedroom so immediately. It was as if he was just here, like no time had passed. But it had, a whole childhood had.

“Alex! Bella! Come on out here I got a surprise for you,” Charlie's voice rang out from downstairs. Both twins trailed out of the house after Charlie to see a beast of a truck parked in the brick driveway.

“Is this...the surprise,” Bella gaped, eyes wide with disbelief.

“Part of it.”

Alexander’s brow furrowed. “What’s the other part—?”

“Surprise!” 

Bella and Alex startled as a long haired boy lept from behind the truck followed by an older man in a wheelchair.

“You remember Billy and Jacob Black don’t you—”

Alex had already realized who stood in front of them before Charlie could get his sentence out. “Jacob!” he laughed and threw his arms around the darker boy with enough force to make him stumble back a step. 

“Hey Alex, missed you too,” Jacob tittered. Alex pulled away first, only marginally red and embarrassed, and allowed Bella her turn to hug their childhood friend.

—

Catching up was effortless. Fast words and faster heartbeats racing with the excitement of a long ago deserved reunion. Jacob lounged on the bed as Alex unpacked his bags and his life in Phoenix, readily filling in his once best friend on the past several years and vice versa, eating up every word Jacob would share; they never skipped a beat.

“Have you really let Bella be the same shut in as she is right now or is that just when I’m around?” Jacob couldn’t help but chuckle a little.

Alex giggled in return. “Listen, I’ve tried desperately to drag her into my nonsense but there's only so much a brother can do. She is the elder sibling by over an hour after all, so I get no authority,” he feigned defeat.

Jacob’s laugh was a melody ringing in his ears. This felt right, Alex decided. No awkward small talk, just them joking and teasing as if nothing had changed, except for the fact that they had grown up. As kids there was always a competition over who was a centimeter taller than the other — mark it on the wall with a wobbly pencil line, compare, try again, maybe tiptoe a little this time. After all these years it would seem that Alex was finally in the lead.

“What kind of nonsense did you try dragging her into because I can’t picture her getting even close to trouble with a 10 foot pole.”

Alex smirked as he made his way to the closet with a handful of clothes. “Nothing too wild, just the occasional skipping class, sneaking out past curfew… ”

“Ooh trying to find her boy trouble, is that it?” Jacob jumped at the bait of relationship drama, ready to remember all the details to tease Bella about later.

“Hah, please, I've had plenty boy trouble for the both of us.” Alex tensed immediately once the words left his lips. He hadn’t necessarily meant to let that secret slip but he wasn’t adjusted to being back in the closet yet and it felt too natural to banter with Jacob that his brain hadn’t thought twice. He fidgeted with the shirt in his hands and peaked a side glance at Jake who momentarily raised his brows but otherwise appeared unphased. 

“Maybe she needs girl trouble then if you catch my drift.” Jacob didn’t hesitate to continue on smoothly past the unintentional update. In fact, he was actually happy upon Alex sharing that. He was thrilled to know his friend, who he had not seen in many years, was comfortable enough with him to spill something like that — albeit accidentally.

“The thought has crossed my mind too, and while I think my sister might bat for both teams, I’m convinced she’s entirely disenchanted by the whole idea of relationships on principle,” Alex sighed. He paused then and bit his lip. “And um… if you don’t mind not mentioning to Charlie that I, uh, prefer boy ‘trouble’ yet…”

“Secret’s safe with me.” Jacob winked, and his smile was so tooth rottingly sweet it made Alex's heart swell. 

—

“You match the truck,” Bella said the next morning as they climbed into the beastly thing.

“Yeah didn’t you hear? Old rusted truck aesthetic is all the rage with Forks high schoolers right now,” Alex grumbled back, both siblings swung the truck doors closed in sync.

“Then I guess we’ll fit in just fine,” she sighed, the lack of enthusiasm about their first day of school was apparent in the sarcasm that dripped from her voice. 

She wasn't wrong though — Alex did match the truck. The faded red-orange Phoenix hoodie he donned beneath his windbreaker was remarkably close to the color of the truck. It was a last minute purchase made at the Phoenix airport in a moment of anticipatory homesickness, a final piece of Arizona to transition him from one home to the next.

“Since when do you care about fitting in?” Alex studied Bella’s twisted form looking out the rear windshield as she carefully backed them out of the rain slicked driveway. 

“I don't, but that doesn't mean I want to be ogled at like some kind of cell under a microscope all day.”

He nodded in agreement, mildly distracted by the changing roadside out the window. “I mean in their defense, new kids are probably the most exciting thing that's happened to Forks High since… well, the previous new kids.”

“Probably won’t help that we’re twins, either,” Bella grumbled. “Can’t wait to get asked a million questions about being able to read each other's minds and whatever else people think we can magically do.” 

Alex snorted a pessimistic laugh in response, understanding exactly what his sister was dreading. A comfortable quiet settled over them, the truck rumbled steadfastly down the small town road towards the circus ring that was any high school.

Exactly as Alex had expected the classes crawled along, almost more monotonously than the unwavering drizzle outside, only periodically interrupted by bell rings and student introductions. The hallways were as grey and solid as the sky outside the windows he resolutely sat by in every class he was able to — which was most considering all the classes had a surplus of unoccupied desks due to small student population. In a moment of boredom Alex’s mind wandered to the tribal school Jacob had spoken of. He mused over if it was any less dreary than here, and how hard it might be to sneak his way into their student body. Surely it would be at least a little more exciting; he knew at least one person there unlike here, and the slew of friends Jake had mentioned sounded like an entertaining crew to be around too.

Between lectures the twins would briefly spot one another in the halls or on sidewalks between buildings — a reassuring hand squeeze here, an encouraging eye contact there. It wasn’t until lunch, when Alex saw Bella looking around for him, already seated at a table of presumably new friends, did they get to meet up and catch their breaths. Bella had left a notable space open at the table for Alex and upon spotting him she waved him over with visible relief.

Alex spent his first lunch period attempting to politely ignore Jessica Stanley’s fixed attention on him. She had leaned forward as she chattered on about Forks and pried about their lives in Phoenix, occasionally brushing his arm with her hand playfully despite Alex’s aloof responses. He fidgeted with the cuff of his sleeve and threw panicked glances at Bella in a silent cry for help — he didn’t want to embarrass the girl but her advances were growing more aggressive by the minute.

“You’re kind of barking up the wrong tree, Jess,” Bella said in a low voice eventually. 

Alex’s heart sang with love for her for being discrete. Jessica looked back to Alex who smiled guiltily, and her face blanched as it clicked. Her cheeks flushed pink briefly before she threw herself into conversation once again, acting like nothing happened. The girl named Angela caught Alex’s eyes and smiled sweetly while Jessica snapped right back into explaining everything there was to know about Forks High and its students — the classes, the teachers, the cliques. One group in particular caught both twins’ attention.

“Who are they?” Bella asked.

“That’s Edward and Emmett Cullen, and Rosalie and Jasper Hale.” Jessica explained under her breath. “The one who left was Alice Cullen; they all live together with Dr. Cullen and his wife.” 

Bella's stare lingered on them. “They are… very nice-looking.”

Alex snorted at Bella’s uncouth and blatant understatement, and Jessica dived into the gossip surrounding the family.

At the final bell of the day Alex beelined for the office building to hand in his slip signed by all his teachers and decided to wait for Bella outside by the truck — the fresh rainy air cleared his lungs and lifted his mood. Bella was much slower to reach the truck than him but she seemed just as eager to leave, maybe even more.

“So are you going to tell me what your problem is or will I have to guess?” Alex turned toward his twin in the driver's seat. She’d barely spoken during their drive home so far, and her continual frown had yet to budge.

“Just some prick in my biology class. One of the Cullen's. He made a scene and took off in the middle of class after I had to sit next to him. He acted like I completely revolted him or something — it was embarrassing as hell,” Bella vented. “And then the same thing happened again when I went to turn in my slip at the office. I overheard him begging to change his schedule before he realized I was there and he stormed out again.” Bella fought back the sting that sprang to her eyes as her anger resurfaced.

Alex gaped in bewilderment, brows furrowing deeper than his sister’s. After a moment he collapsed back into his seat, watching the road with Bella. “His loss,” he tossed out. “Guy doesn’t know what’s good for him. He was probably just overwhelmed by all the grace and poise you exude,” Alex teased, watching her try to fight back a smile from the corner of his eye. “Good thing it wasn’t me in that biology class — who knows what he would’ve done with the prettier twin sitting next to him."

“Oh shut up,” Bella finally broke, giving in and laughing along with her brother. She shoved his shoulder and he swatted her arm away, feeling content now that his other half had lightened up a bit.

Finally pulling into their driveway, Bella spoke again. “You know, it’s a shame the truck doesn’t have a cassette player — I wish we could keep some of your mixtapes in here so we didn’t have to listen to the shitty radio again.”

Alex hummed in agreement, already outlining in his head how much it might cost to acquire such a thing.

—

A week in and Alex had enough boy trouble for him, Bella, and then some. In his defense, boy trouble always found him — he rarely went looking for it. However his inner hopeless romantic was no match for passed notes in the back of class with the tall, dark, and handsome boy in a Spartans letterman jacket with a swaggering step. The boy, Brandon, never outright approached him — never talked to him face to face — but Alex regularly caught his gaze in class or the hall and was fascinated by the way the jock would blush or look flustered. Alex noticed the way Brandon would become louder, more boisterous and over confident in his posture when he would pass him between classes, almost as if he were showing off. He was taken aback by the flirting — he hadn’t expected to find anyone like him in such a small town. 

Maybe that’s why he decided to take the bait, caught between an out of nowhere potential romance and the exhilaration of it feeling forbidden. Alex knew the jock looked like trouble, but succumbing to the rush of doing something he knew he shouldn’t was too damn easy. He blamed the impulsive gene on his mother.

By the end of the week he gave one short wave and a devilish smirk to Bella and found himself skipping table talk with her friends in favor of doing what the last passed note had asked: ‘meet me behind the cafeteria building during lunch? -Brandon’.

Pacing in the damp grass, butterflies growing in his stomach, Alex stuck in his earbuds to distract from his thundering heart that threatened to break out of his chest. This was a bad idea, his mind raced. Why was he doing this again? Brandon was so far in the closet he’d probably chicken out and not even show. 

A pair of hands spun Alex around by his waist, his music ripped from his ears in the process. 

“Why so jumpy?” Brandon smiled coyly. He pulled Alex in so they were nose to nose while his hands ghosted over his hips, making Alex’s breath stutter.

They both hesitated. Alex had no intention of being out in Forks, not yet anyway, but as he studied Brandon he noticed the boy’s thinly veiled anxiety which somehow settled his own. An unspoken agreement was reached when they locked eyes.

Brandon bit his lip and asked “Can I kiss you before the bell rings or what?”

Half an hour later he flopped down in his desk with a few seconds to spare with swollen lips and a giddy smile. 

Bella scoffed at him on their drive home. “You can’t keep a boy off of you and I manage to make one go into hiding for a week.”

“It’s hardly that extreme.” Alex watched the green blur outside his window. “It’s literally been one time, and I get the feeling he’s just begun to figure out he likes boys,” he reassured her. “I seriously doubt either of us want to do anything as tactless as skipping every lunch period to meet up.”

“Speaking of lunch, we were invited to a trip to First Beach with Mike and the others in a couple of weeks — I said we’d go. If you don’t want to you’re going anyways as punishment for your idiocy,” Bella huffed and rolled her eyes. 

“Looking for your brain back there?” Alex laughed.

She fought the urge to roll her eyes a second time. “Even without a single brain cell I’d still be the smarter twin compared to you,” Bella muttered. “I would at least be careful enough to not walk away with any hickeys…” She side-eyed him, a dangerously smug look forming on her face.

Alex’s cheeks bloomed hot pink. He immediately snapped down the sun visor mirror and pushed the edge of his flannel around, inspecting his neck. Sure enough a bright magenta bruise had blossomed a hair’s width below where the collar rested on his left side. Bella’s self-satisfied laughter yanked him out of his panic. He flipped the collar up and adjusted where it laid against his neck until he felt secure enough that it wouldn’t expose his misfortune. Slumped into the passenger seat, Alex did his absolute best to ignore his sister’s pompous grin.

—

The next day was Saturday, and while Bella decided to laze around the house doing homework and laundry, Alex had agreed to see Jacob again. Leaving his sister with the house to herself, Alex took the truck and followed the directions Jake had given him to his house on the reservation.

As soon as the roaring engine came into earshot, Jacob raced out his front door to see the familiar faded red truck pulling into his muddy driveway. He forced himself to tone down his excitement, not wanting to embarrass himself. 

“Where to?” Alex chipped after he hopped out of the truck.

Jacob laughed breathily at Alex’s enthusiasm and began to make his way in the direction of his garage. “You mentioned wanting to see what I’m working on, right?”

“Absolutely.” Alex’s toothy smile was blinding. He slung an arm around Jacob’s shoulders and matched his pace. “Lead the way.”

“So,” Jake began and loosely wrapped his arm around Alex’s waist, watching their feet as they fell into step with the same foot forward, “is this good mood because of a decent first week at Forks, or because it’s been a terrible week and you’re relieved the weekend is finally here?”

“A bit of both, I suppose…” he answered and looked away.

“Oh come on, you’ve got to give me more than that,” Jacob pried, his curiosity piqued by Alex’s vagueness. “Have you made any friends yet?” 

A faint blush crept up Alex’s neck and onto his cheeks as he replied. “I’m not entirely sure if ‘friend’ is the right word to call him…” he trailed off, avoiding Jacob’s scrutinizing gaze still.

“Oh my god,” he stopped dead in his tracks and gaped at Alex. “How the hell did you manage to find ‘boy trouble’ already?” Jacob scolded.

“It finds me, I swear!” he vouched and kept walking, breaking away from Jake and entering the garage. He meandered around, taking in all the tools and parts laid on tables and shelves. 

“Have you at least made any other friends, ones that aren’t trouble?” Jacob teased.

“Sort of — they’re more of Bella’s friends that I happen to sit with at lunch,” Alex replied absentmindedly. “But enough about me right now, I want to hear about what you’re working on, remember?”

Jacob scoffed at his evasiveness. “You can’t just tease me with vague details like that then change the subject,” he said and flipped on the lights.

Alex’s earlier blush returned as he chuckled, eyes skipping to and from Jacob. “Fine, fine. I’ll tell you all about it… as soon as you tell me about this.” He placed his hands on the tarp covering the half constructed car, his eyes sparkling slyly. 

“Deal.” Jacob pulled the tarp off of his latest project. “I’ve been working on this Volkswagen Rabbit for a while now. I’m missing a handful of parts, they’re a little hard to find in good enough condition considering it’s from the 80’s.” He watched for Alex’s reaction as he tossed the tarp onto a table nearby.

He studied the car with rapt attention, astonished by Jacob’s handiwork. “What year exactly?” Alex asked while Jacob busied himself with opening the hood.

“1986, why?”

“Just curious,” Alex walked around to the front of the car to stand next to Jacob. “I was born in ‘87 — kind of have a thing for that decade,” he explained with a shrug, looking down at the partial engine. “You really did all this, Jake? You’re kind of amazing,” he beamed. 

Jacob felt himself stand straighter with pride at Alex’s praise. “You act surprised — you do know I kept that tank of a truck running for years before Charlie bought it off of us, right?”

“Yeah, I know. Thanks again for the truck by the way, it runs great.” Alex leaned a hip against the Rabbit. 

“Could run better,” Jacob made a face as he thought about it. “Have you tried going over sixty?”

Alex rolled his eyes but was smiling nonetheless. “It runs great,” he repeated pointedly. “I love the truck. Only thing that could make me love it more is if the radio included a cassette player,” he sighed.

“You use cassettes?” Jacob asked with a glint in his eyes, studying Alex closely. When Alex nodded he gestured for him to follow him to one of the tables on the other side of the garage. At the back of the table behind miscellaneous car parts and tools sat a stereo radio, tape compartment empty and waiting. “You wouldn’t happen to have any with you, would you?”

Alex grinned back at him. “I’ll be right back,” he quipped and raced out of the garage to the truck where he knew he had left his bookbag yesterday. After rummaging around papers and books, he uncovered the cassette player Charlie had passed down to him when he vacationed with Bella and Alex in California years ago. Alex took the mixtape from it and hurried back to the garage.

Jacob laughed at Alex’s flushed face and breeze swept hair as he made his way over to the stereo, hesitating just before pressing play.

“I make no promises that you’ll like my music,” Alex disclaimed, suddenly feeling self conscious as the music began to spill from the speakers.

Jacob smirked, something mischievous about his smile. “Then how about we focus on something else,” he said as he directed them back over to the car, finding a stool for Alex to sit on while he leaned over the Rabbit to fiddle with the engine. “Like boy trouble — for instance,” he grinned deviously.

Alex chuckled and shook his head as he delved into his encounter with Brandon while the music floated around them. Jake’s giddy smile made Alex’s slight embarrassment almost worth it.

Hours passed like minutes, and when the sky finally started to grow dark Jacob walked Alex back to his truck. He watched the way Alex fidgeted with the collar of his red-orange hoodie, keeping it pulled close around the base of his neck. The secret meet up with the boy came to his mind — Jake reached over and pulled at the collar of Alex’s hoodie before he could dodge out of the away.

“Ah ha,” he laughed in triumph. “I knew you were still hiding something.”

Alex swatted his hand away and lightly pushed him in an act of mock anger. “So he accidentally gave me a hickey, big deal,” he blushed bright red despite his nonchalant words. “It’ll be gone in a couple of days.”

Jake shook his head and continued to laugh at him, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “For someone trying to keep their sexuality a secret, you’re being quite reckless, you know.”

Hearing the subtle concern creep into his friend’s voice, Alex sobered. “I know, trust me, I’ve already had this talk with Bella,” he said as they reached the truck. Alex rested his hand on the door handle, not ready to leave yet.

“Just — try to stay out of trouble, okay?” Jacob dug at the dirt with his toe and buried his hands in his pockets. “Maybe make some other kinds of friends too?”

“It finds me, remember,” Alex teased quietly. “But I’ll try, I promise,” he reassured him. “And speaking of other friends, Bella’s friends I mentioned are planning a trip to First Beach in a couple weekends and Bella is forcing me to go with her — you wouldn’t happen to want to make a miraculous appearance and rescue me, would you?” He smiled mischievously, though his genuineness was not far beneath. Alex climbed into the truck. Fat drops of icy water dropped on to the windshield.

Jake laughed breathily. “I’ll see what I can do… But regardless, we’re still on for next weekend, right?” It struck him as he watched Alex fasten his seatbelt that he truly enjoyed his company, more than just as childhood friends catching up.

“Of course we are,” Alex nodded.

Jake nodded back and a smile pulled at the corners of his lips. “Good, now get going before the roads get too wet,” he said and pushed the driver’s door closed.

He watched Alex drive off, pulling his jacket hood over his head when the drops fell faster, waiting until the truck was out of sight before jogging back inside, out of the approaching rain.

—

Between classes on Monday the chilly rain from the weekend had turned into thick fluffy snowflakes. The ground was dusted white already and people were racing around, flinging snowballs at each other and shouting excitedly. Alex walked with Bella and Mike on the way to his next class since their buildings were near one another’s. Bella visibly deflated when she saw the snow.

It wasn’t all that bad, he thought to himself as Bella complained about it to Mike — the snow may be cold and wet but it was pretty at least. The untouched white sheets shimmered on the ground in a picturesque way that made him wish he had his camera or paint with him, and the cottony flakes contrasted beautifully against dark hair and lashes they clung to. 

Alex briefly wondered if Jacob liked the snow.

He said his goodbyes to Bella and Mike when he neared his building, keeping a careful eye on the people playing in the snow ahead of him before he noticed Brandon surrounded by his varsity jacket bearing friends, leaning against the building just to the right of the door. At first Alex thought nothing of it — they shared the class that was about to start so it didn’t seem out of the ordinary to see Brandon outside of this building — until it dawned on him that they were cornering Brandon. He was backed against the wall, the four friends crowded around him. Alex forced himself to look away as he got closer, not wanting to be caught spying. He overheard their hushed, hissing tones. It sounded heated. Alex’s eyes flickered over instinctively as he passed by and saw Brandon’s defensive posture. Just as Alex walked through the door he heard Brandon huff out, "I’m not like that, man." But that’s all he caught before the door closed behind him.

Alex seated himself at his usual desk at the back of the class by the window, wondering idly about what he had just witnessed. Brandon walked in right as the bell rang with his head down and shoulders hunched. He dropped into a desk at the front of the classroom instead of his usual seat diagonally in front of Alex’s.

As the teacher started up her lecture Brandon glanced over his shoulder towards Alex, but wrenched his eyes away when he saw Alex looking back, brows drawn together with befuddlement. He didn’t look back again, although Alex let his gaze slip over to him periodically, more out of curiosity than concern. Brandon all but dashed out of the room when the bell rang. Alex slowly collected his things, in no rush to get to lunch nor to accidentally bump into Brandon on his way there.

Once at the table Alex had reached the conclusion to not share this recent development with Bella yet. He was far from hurt by Brandon ignoring him, they had only talked in person one time for christ sake, but he was surprised by the sudden change — so he kept quiet, not wanting to give the impression that he cared more than he did.

Besides, Bella was far away, absentmindedly sipping her soda and trying in vain to steal a subtle glance at the Cullen’s table. He looked back and forth between her and their table, waiting for something to break his sister’s growing tension. Eventually Edward Cullen looked over and Bella snapped her head down so fast he thought she’d have whiplash. 

“Shut up,” she muttered when Alex snorted.

On his way to the last class of the day, Alex mindlessly made his way through the hall of students — cassette in his pocket and earbuds in — when a solid shoulder collided with his, forcing his textbooks out of his hands and onto the floor.

“Watch it faggot,” Brandon hissed. 

Alex felt like fire was licking its way up his neck and cheeks. Brandon had spoken loud enough for everyone immediately around them to hear. He continued on past Alex, a few of his jock friends snickering as they followed suit. One of them kicked a stack of papers out of Alex’s reach when he knelt to pick them up and they scattered everywhere. Alex kept his eyes glued to the floor, on his hands picking up his papers, anything but the people stopped in the hall staring at him like a zoo animal. A knot was beginning to tie itself in his throat and his eyes were starting to burn.

Someone dropped down next to him and began scooping up papers. Alex looked up and saw one of Bella’s friends, Angela. Her mouth was set in a downturned frown and her usually timid demeanor was nowhere to be found. 

She glanced up and saw Alex frozen, watching her. “I’m sorry they did that to you,” she flitted her eyes away, a hint of familiar reticence peaking through. “You deserve better,” Angela spoke so lowly that Alex might have missed it if he hadn’t seen her mouth move. 

Angela handed him back his papers and helped him stand. Alex swallowed thickly. “Thank you, so much more than you know,” he whispered back. Angela smiled with a subtle nod and they each carried on to their respective classes.

Maybe she wasn’t just Bella’s friend, maybe she was his too he realized.

On the drive home Alex was unresponsive as Bella gushed about Edward Cullen, who had finally made an appearance again. She eventually halted all details about their conversation in bio and demanded: “What is going on, Alex? Something has been up since we left school, but you won’t share. So spill before we get home and I make you talk about whatever’s wrong at dinner in front of Charlie.”

The corner of Alex’s mouth turned up the slightest bit at that before falling again as he revealed to Bella what had happened in the hallway, fighting back that damn knot in his throat again with every syllable. Bella slammed on the brakes and stopped the truck in the empty tree-surrounded road. She regarded her twin, face scrunched up with a hundred emotions. Finally she settled on anguish and pulled Alex into an aggressive hug so tight it knocked the breath out of him for a moment. It was as if Bella thought she could squeeze all the heartache out of her brother, or as if she thought she could shield him from anymore pain so long as she held onto him tight enough.

Neither of the Swans shared that they had a feeling this was just the beginning, but they both would have been right.

Charlie had left the station early that day after the snow had started to fall in order to stop by the automotive store, and he was now reclining on the couch watching a sports game. When he heard the front door scrape open he turned and witnessed Alex escaping upstairs followed by the soft click of his bedroom door shutting. Charlie looked inquisitively to Bella who lingered by the door, taking time to remove her damp coat and slip off her wet sneakers.

“Bad day,” she informed him.

“Should I… go say something…?” Charlie’s brow furrowed as Bella gently shook her head. “Well, I’m guessing we won’t see much of him tonight then,” he sighed and grasped for ideas on consoling his son despite Bella’s dissent.

Alex meanwhile draped himself across his bed staring at the dulled white ceiling. The knot in his throat tightened and his vision blurred as hot angry tears rolled down his cheeks. He pressed his hands against his face and let the knot untie itself in the form of silent sobs. Why did he always have to cry when he got overwhelmed or angry? The curse ran in the family — Renee and Bella were the same way.

The burn of humiliation passed just to be replaced by an unjustified shame, and somewhere deep beneath all the contempt a seed of bitter indignation was planted.

—

The Swan household awoke the next morning to chilly hardwood floors and frosted window panes, the cloudy sky pale and looming. When the family of three made their way to their respective rides in the driveway Charlie motioned to the truck’s tires.

“I put snow chains on them last night so you don’t have to worry about the ice,” he explained. And as if on queue, Bella slipped on a patch of ice and landed on her backside. Immediately she heard Alex’s airy cackling behind her as she struggled to stand back up and saw Charlie shake his head and sigh. After he was thoroughly satisfied with himself, Alex lent Bella an arm to help balance her while she stood. 

“Thank you, Dad." Alex couldn’t help but smile when he looked at the tires. It’s nice to feel looked after, Alex thought; he was used to it being Bella and him against the world when they lived with Renee — having to learn to parent each other from early on because of their mother’s slightly chaotic nature. 

Charlie shuffled to his car and paused to look at his twins climbing into the truck. “Let me know how they drive, if I need to fix them at all…” 

“We’ll be alright, don’t worry, Dad,” Bella assured him before they headed off.

From the moment their drive to school started Alex noticed his sister’s persistent fidgeting — shifting in her seat, drumming her fingers against the wheel, leg bouncing up and down. Alex decided to wait her out to see how long she could go on like that. After an especially heavy sigh Bella asked, “What are you going to do if Brandon tries to mess with you again?”

He chewed his lip and took a deep breath. “I’m not sure exactly, but I’m not going to let anything that asshole does get to me again,” he said firmly, his jaw clenched tight.

“I swear to god, if I see them try to start shit I am not afraid to step in between you and them,” Bella huffed, “I don’t care how big they are…”

Alex broke into a toothy grin at that. “I’d love to see you go all Mama Bear on them — you’re kind of terrifying when you’re like that.” He smiled even wider when Bella bit her lip to suppress a grin. They exchanged fond glances and settled into an easy silence.

As soon as the truck pulled into a parking space Alex hopped out, saying he wanted to get to class early to avoid as much interaction with people as possible. Bella nodded in understanding and told her brother she'd catch him later then. 

By the time it dawned on Alex that he’d forgotten his cassette player in the truck he was already several cars away. When he turned around to back track he noticed the Cullen's gathered around their silver Volvo as he passed by and briefly thought back to Bella telling him about her and Edward’s talk in bio. Alex thought he saw from the corner of his eye Edward look over at him, but a gut wrenching screech broke through his thoughts. Alex’s eyes snapped to a van sliding out of control and it all clicked into place in slow motion as it barreled right towards the truck with Bella between them. Panic rippled through his whole body like lightning, he heard his own voice scream his sister's name. She shrank away as the trucks collided.

Voices erupted in startled screams and confused shouting as people circled around the accident. Alex was already running toward his twin, his shaking hands shoving people out of his way. Edward was holding Bella when he got to them, cradling her in his arms on the ground. Alex dropped to his knees and held his sister at arms length, and Edward moved out of his warpath. Somewhere in the back of his mind an alarm went off but his anxious thoughts pushed it away for later.

“Are you okay?” Alex’s eyes scanned over her, searching for blood or bones bent at the wrong angle. Her eyes began to focus on him and she shook her head yes, though her mouth was still agape. Alex flung his arms around her and tried to collect himself. As Alex hugged Bella fiercely he saw over her shoulder the unscathed body of the truck. He felt a rock drop in his stomach when he also noticed an unwarranted dent in the bumper of the van. If he didn’t know any better, it would’ve looked like a perfect contour of a shoulder that had forced the van to a stop. The alarm flickered to life in the back of his mind again.

At the hospital Alex sat with Bella while she reassured Tyler, the boy who had lost control of the van, that she was alright. It wasn’t long before Dr. Carlisle Cullen came in and introduced himself. Alex watched him closely as he checked Bella for signs of injury. 

“I’m lucky Edward happened to be standing next to me... ” Bella tried to catch Dr. Cullen's eyes but he was suddenly preoccupied with the paperwork in his hands. She didn’t miss his shifting eyes and neither did Alex.

After being given a clean bill of health, Bella excused herself and Alex decided to check the waiting room to see if Charlie had arrived yet. He was headed toward the doors when he stopped abruptly. He didn’t intend to spy, but he didn’t back away when he overheard his sister’s and Edward’s hushed voices either. Alex strained to hear them around the corner; they were arguing about what had really happened in the parking lot.

“Nobody will believe that, you know.” He couldn't miss the edge in Edward’s voice.

After a few more heated exchanges, footsteps receded away and moments later Bella turned the corner, startling when she ran face first into Alex.

Later that night, a pajama clad Alex leaned against Bella’s door frame while she climbed under her covers.

“I believe you,” he told her. And he also told her how he had just passed the Cullen's when the van went out of control. “I could have sworn I saw Edward there with them.”

Bella looked away, falling deep into thought. “Thank you, Alex,” she said briefly breaking out of her reverie.

“Of course,” he smiled tightly. “Goodnight, Bells, get some rest.” He turned and shut her door behind him. 

Laying down to sleep was fruitless when Alex couldn’t even relax, so for a second night in a row he laid in bed and dazed at the ceiling. Everything felt like it was spiraling out of control as his mind swirled with the events of the day, the accident, the unexplained dent in the van, Edward’s mysterious claims. It was too much, he was beginning to feel crazy. 

Eventually Alex drifted off into an unrestful sleep, briefly thinking that Jacob would probably believe him and Bella. He could trust him.


	2. Shooting The Moon

Throughout the rest of the week the Swan twins were pushed in opposite directions. Bella, much to her chagrin, was fawned over and stuck in a constant spotlight by the whole school, by everyone except for Edward. Alex, however, was further targeted by Brandon and his four jock friends — and most students took to avoiding him. Day after day he became more and more ostracized and he had a feeling that some of the people in their own social circle, like Lauren, maybe even Jessica, would have joined in on avoiding him had Bella not insisted he sat at their table during lunch still.

Being tripped in the hallway, sniggered at in classes, shoved and sneered at didn’t stop Alex from walking past the squad of football players, holding his head high, anticipating their sabotage and taking it with grace. Bella sneered back at them whenever she’d get the chance. 

Alex wasn’t stupid. It didn’t take long for him to figure out why this sudden change of pace happened — especially when Brandon was still stealing pitiful glances at him in class but picking on him in front of his friends in the halls. Brandon was scared of being outed. His friends must have gotten suspicious and Brandon got defensive and now Alex was on the receiving end of all that insecurity. He got it. Message clear. But he wouldn’t be able to put up with it for much longer.

By the end of the week Alex was dreading the plans he’d made to hang out with Jacob again. A husk of shame curled up in his chest, making his hands and breath shaky when he answered Jake’s phone call. For a moment Alex thought he would cancel on Jake and avoid the anxious knot that was forming in his stomach, but alongside the knot there was relief and comfort when he heard Jacob’s husky tittering voice on the line, maybe even more of it than the anxiety.

He told Jake he’d pick him up tomorrow at one.

In La Push, Jacob Black hung up the phone and vibrated with giddiness, smiling bashfully, out of sight of Billy who would certainly tease him about his excitement.

—

Any of Alex’s anxieties dissipated as soon as he saw his friend’s beaming smile as he climbed into the truck.

“So where to?” Jacob repeated Alex’s words back to him. He turned to face Alex in the driver's seat, with his back resting against the door and legs pulled up in his seat. 

“Back to my place, if that’s alright with you,” Alex sighed, “we’ve got a lot to catch up on.” He propped his elbow on the door armrest and leaned his head against his hand, stealing occasional glances at Jake while watching the road.

Jacob let slip an easy little laugh. “I’ve heard. Charlie told my dad, who told me about the accident on Tuesday. Glad to see the truck survived by the way.”

Alex looked at Jake from the corners of his eyes and watched him fiddle with the radio. “The accident is just the tip of the iceberg.”

“Then where would you like to start,” he quipped and relaxed back in his seat. A smile threatened to turn the corners of his lips up. 

One updated backstory leading up to and a summary of Alex’s hellish week later and Jacob was pacing Alex’s room nearly livid. 

“You can’t let him get away with this, Alex,” Jake practically growled.

Alex sat at the end of his bed and dropped his head into his hands, heavy sigh breaking past his lips. “Ugh — I know, alright, but it’s kind of hard to stand up to them when the whole school basically already knows I’m gay so cat’s out of the bag there — no reclaiming that and using it against them or something. Real honestly I think this will eventually die out and they’ll find someone else to fuck with. I don't feel like drawing anymore attention to myself at this point. And besides, they aren’t worth my time or energy.”

Jacob chewed his lip and halted his pacing. He plopped down on the edge of the bed sitting shoulder to shoulder with Alex. “You’re right, they aren’t worth it. But they should at least get what’s coming to them for treating you like this.” Jake peaked over at his friend solemnly, wishing for once that he went to Forks High School simply so he could better do something to help.

Alex’s lips quirked into a half smile and his eyes locked onto Jacob’s for a moment. He sighed pessimistically, despite the quiet unfurling of agreeing rage creep through his gut. “I guess you're much more vengeful than I am.” He knocked their shoulders together as he spoke. 

Jacob’s cheeks bloomed pink and his eyes dropped to the ground in a moment of chary. A few strands of long jet black hair escaped from behind his ear and partially obscured his face from Alex.

For a split second Alex had to fight the instinct to tuck it back behind his ear. He tucked his hands under his legs instead to keep himself from doing something stupid like that.

Jake began pulling his shiny locks back with a hair tie. “So, what’s our conclusion then?” he said.

“Our conclusion?” Alex scoffed. 

“Yeah, our conclusion, I know about this now and so I’m involved — I’m invested.”

Alex shifted to face his body towards Jacob, a serious look overtaking his features. “Alright, I promise to think about standing up for myself if you promise to let us move on and tell me about your week.”

“I can live with that, for now,” Jake smirked and turned his body to face Alex in return. The boys sat cross legged in front of one another with their knees brushing. “But my week has not been nearly as exciting as yours. Or Bella’s for that matter.” 

“Where would you like to start,” Alex grinned and winked at Jacob who rolled his eyes in response, but he couldn’t quite hide his smile from Alex’s antics.

“Let’s see… Embry and I have discovered that Paul is going through some kind of crazy rapid growth spurt, I found one of the parts I’ve been needing for the Rabbit — still need a master cylinder though — several friends from the res are planning a bonfire in a couple weeks. Oh, and I have a book report due next Thursday and I haven’t even picked out a book yet.” Jacob felt a flutter in his chest at Alex’s breezy laughter followed by an echo of pride for causing it.

“Well,” Alex started, “I can help with one of those things, if you’d like.” He meandered off the end of the bed over to the low, wide bookshelf parallel to his desk against the opposite wall. He sat down on the floor in front of the dark wooden shelves and looked over to Jacob before he patted the spot next to him. Alex waited until he sat down to continue. “What kind of book do you need?”

Jake observed Alex’s perked up mood and posture, gaze lingering on his dark but sparkling eyes. He tore his eyes away and inspected the spines of the books on the shelves. “Anything that’s at least moderately well known, but not necessarily a classic.”

“That completely narrows it down,” Alex drawled.

“What are your favorites; I trust your opinion,” Jake assured him.

Alex bit his lip in contemplation before reaching for a book and pulling it out for Jacob to see.

“It’s a science fiction coming of age story, set in the future. But with aliens and militant groups of children learning how to take on responsibility and the main character tapping into his full potential and leading those around him and all that good stuff,” he rambled on, face growing redder with each word. “Very good writing. Kind of dark. It won some awards a few years back.”

A toothy grin overtook Jacob as he listened. “It sounds perfect.”

By the time the sun was setting the two boys were climbing back into the truck with a book under Jacob’s arm and a whirlwind of light and heaviness in his chest. An echo of anxiety made him hesitant to leave. The idea of Alex being hurt — physically or emotionally — sparked a fire in Jacob that put him on edge, especially when he was helpless to do much about it.

As Alex made their way down the road Jacob flipped through the growing collection of mixtapes Alex kept stashed in the glove box when it struck him.

“I can’t believe I forgot until now, but you left your cassette in my garage,” Jake said and pulled the mixtape from his jacket pocket, setting it in the glovebox with its sibling tapes.

“Oh, thank you.” Alex glanced over at him warmly. “Although I guess you probably just want that angsty hipster elitist trash music out of earshot,” he joked.

The full bellied laugh that broke Jacob’s composure made Alex’s insides twist and his cheeks ache from smiling.

“Is that how you define your music taste?” he asked once he caught his breath. “If that’s what it’s called then I need to reassess the genres of music I like.”

“Are you saying you liked my angsty hipster trash music?”

“Yeah,” Jake crossed his arms and propped his feet up on the dash, “you should make me a mixtape.”

Alex tensed and shifted his gaze between Jacob and the road. “Uh…” Alex stuttered for a clear thought. “Sure, if you really want one I’d be happy to… I just…” he drawled off.

“Just what?” Jacob finished for him and leaned his temple against the headrest to better fix his sight on Alex.

“I’m just not sure what you’d like — if it’ll be what you’re really looking for. I mean you liking that one tape was probably a fluke.”

A charmed smile slid its way onto Jake’s face. “I have complete and utter faith in you, so make me whatever you feel is right,” he reassured Alex matter of factly. Something new stirred in his chest when he thought about Alex making a tape just for him. Jacob let his eyes linger on Alex’s silhouette against the misty truck window. 

Alex, aware of Jacob staring, flicked his eyes over to him, wanting to match his gaze.

“Eyes on the road, Swan.” Jacob grinned and faced forward in his seat, eyes settling on the slick road in front of them.

A befuddled scoff worked its way out of Alex as he fought a bashful laugh down. They settled into a comfortable silence for the rest of the ride.

—

The torment from Brandon and his jock squad soared to an astounding high that next week. Slurs and hateful words spat in Alexander's direction every time he turned around it seemed. The creeping rage sprouted stronger and rooted deeper with every ugly word.

By lunch period on Tuesday Alex was grinding his teeth and white knuckling his textbooks to keep himself from making a scene, but the cool facade finally snapped when Brandon knocked his lunch tray from his hands with a harsh shoulder check that came out of nowhere.

“Shame Tyler aimed for the wrong Swan,” he muttered under his breath loud enough for Alex alone to hear as he pushed past him.

Alex’s feet weighed him down in place as he stared down at the spilled tray in front of him. His heartbeat thundered through his body, it thrummed in his fingertips and echoed in his ears. A stormy rush of adrenaline pulsed through his chest.

“Oh fuck off!” Alex heard his voice ring out through the cafeteria. He hadn’t meant to speak, but as a hush blanketed the cafeteria and everyone's head turned Alex snapped out of his rage for a fleeting moment and became hyper aware of his heavy breath and the stares that were watching, waiting.

He felt somebody looming behind him. 

"What the hell did you just say to me… fag?" Brandon’s voice flashed with red warning signs but the hypocrisy of him being indignated ignited a bubble of laughter to break through Alex's lips — oh, he was committed now.

"I said: fuck. off." Alex rounded and raised his chin as he met Brandon’s fuming eyes. The bulky figures gathering around them in his peripheral did not go unnoticed. He waited for a knot of anxiety to tie itself in his gut but it never came — in fact, all he felt was another buzz of adrenaline rushing through him. Alex leaned in closer to Brandon. “Or should I say fuck you because that’s what you’ve been wanting me to do for the last two weeks…” Alex said lowly, a smirk twisting his lips with levity.

Brandon turned red as if on queue and leapt at him. Alex’s feet finally unglued themselves from the floor as he jumped backwards out of Brandon’s grasp, but his back hit a solid figure and before he could dart away, rough hands seized his arms. The faces of Brandon’s cronies filled his peripheral as Brandon hulked towards them, cracking his knuckles.

Somewhere in the back of his mind Alex registered the shouts and scraping chairs and screams that erupted in the cafeteria. 

“You’re going to regret saying that,” Brandon growled. “Why couldn’t you just shut up and take our shit like the bitch we all know you are.” He set his hand on Alex’s shoulder, trying to keep him still as he readied his fist. Alex’s breath caught in his throat and his body tensed up as the panic set in. 

The crowd around them grew louder and Bella’s voice broke through, shrill and desperate and angry as she pushed her way through the students, throwing herself into the middle of the fight. Before she could reach Alex, one of Brandon’s jock friends — the one who kicked the papers from his hands he registered vaguely — had grabbed Bella and threw her back into the crowd of students. He held her back when she lunged forward again. 

All his instincts screamed for him to back up, to cower away — but with a circle of football players blocking his escape there was only one direction to go. So Alex surged forward. He managed to yank his arms out of the boys’ grasps and used the momentum to throw his fist into Brandon’s face. The impact shot a sharp ache through his hand and wrist but it went numb almost immediately as more sets of hands grappled him again. Feet kicked the back of his knees and the three boys in letterman jackets held him down when his legs buckled. 

Brandon had stumbled back with a hand clutching his nose, eyes watering. When he straightened and removed his hand there was a thin splatter of blood above his lip and an angry red mark already swelling across the bridge of his nose. Alex met his eyes and Brandon almost looked scared for a moment — how ironic, Alex thought — but then the embarrassed rage seeped in and the grimace on Brandon’s face made him almost unrecognizable. 

“STOP! PLEASE, NO!” Bella’s screams were ringing in Alex’s ears while he tried in vain to writhe away from Brandon's fist barreling into his cheek. A violent buzzing ignited under his skin and his vision swam but as the shock wore off sharp aches relentlessly radiated from his left cheekbone. Before he could get his bearings another punch landed near his right eye socket and the buzzing screamed under his skin again, and again. When his fist dug into Alex's stomach he felt the air being sucked out of his lungs and out of the room. His abdominal muscles twinged when he tried to inhale but all he felt was the pressure in his chest build as he gasped for air.

Bella watched Alex collapse in on himself, hate filled tears glistening in her eyes. The three boys behind Alex held him back up to be a punching bag once more.

The solid sound of a fist hitting a body did not come again. A lumbering boy, bigger than the four boys beating her brother and the one holding her back combined, grabbed Brandon’s shoulders and shoved him away.

“Enough!” His voice echoed in the lunchroom. It was one of the Cullen’s — Emmett, she remembered the names Jessica had told her — and standing by his side was the blonde girl, Rosalie, who looked around at the crowd with a disgusted look darkening her usually shining face.

The group of jocks slowly let go of Alex, who sank to the ground, and they backed away toward the crowd of students.

Bella struggled against the boy’s arms to reach Alex, jamming her elbow into his ribs and landing light punches, but despite his grunts of pain he hadn’t relented.

“Let go of her.”

Both Bella and the boy whipped their heads around to see Edward Cullen standing next to them, fuming. The boy immediately dropped his arms and backed away like the rest of his friends. Bella met his black eyes, she wanted to say something to Edward, thank him — anything, something, but the words were stuck in her throat. He gave a slight nod and she tore her entranced gaze away from his intense stare.

Bella raced to her brother’s side and dropped to her knees next to him. She could hear his raspy shallow breaths and spied the bruises blossoming on his skin through the veil of dark hair hanging around his downturned face. 

Bella reached for her twin’s chin to turn his face towards her. “Alex, are you okay?” She searched his face for any response but his eyes remained unfocused on the floor. “Alex, say something, please.” The panic began to creep over her again.

Finally Alex raised his dark eyes to meet his sisters and gave the gentlest of nods. “I’ll be okay, Bella,” he rasped out.

The sea of students split as Principle Greene marched into the center of the circle, followed closely by a few other attendants. “What in God’s name is going on here?” His voice rang out while he surveyed the scene before him. The students near Brandon and his friends backed away and left them standing on their own in the new empty space. Mr. Greene looked between the boys — huddled together, avoiding his small eyes — and the Cullen's standing around the new Swan twins, who were kneeling on the ground, one looking obviously worse for wear. “With me, now.” He gestured for the two groups to follow him. “Mr. Swan I suggest you go see Nurse Hammond before meeting in my office, but you Miss Swan I will need to come with me now as well.”

Alex nodded again slowly, his body screaming with the slightest movement. 

Bella gaped at Mr. Greene, infuriated. “At least let me take him to the nurse,” her brow furrowed deep as she argued.

A petite shadow leaned down in front of the Swans. “Don’t worry, Bella, I can help him there.” Alice Cullen smiled sweetly at them and offered out a pale slender hand to Alex. He hesitantly accepted and she pulled him up with more strength than she looked capable of.

"It's alright, Bella, go on ahead," Alex reassured her, climbing to his feet with her at his side.

The crowd parted again as Alice helped Alex limp out of the cafeteria to the nurse's office, followed by Mr. Greene, motioning again for the groups to follow him. As the other Cullen's began making their way out of the cafeteria Bella noticed that one of them had been absent the whole time — Jasper, she thought his name was. He had been at the Cullen’s usual table with the rest of them before the fight, but now he was nowhere to be seen. 

Brandon's group had started to shuffle after the Cullen’s and Bella followed after them, huffing with discontent and keeping her distance from the drops of blood on the tile floor that had escaped from the napkin that was currently shoved up to Brandon's nose. Despite the dizziness at the proximity to blood, Bella couldn't help but smirk with pride when she remembered Alex had done that to him.

A half hour and several vague stories later, the group of students were released to their respective places. Brandon and his friends sent to the detention room — awaiting their parents to arrive. The Cullen’s and Bella were sent back to their classes though Bella insisted she stay behind and wait for Alex while he was questioned by Mr. Greene. As she seated herself in a chair in the secretary's office she noticed Edward lingering nearby. 

"Would it be alright if I waited with you?" he inclined. "It doesn't seem right to leave you to wait alone."

Bella gaped at him for a moment before collecting herself. "Uhh… sure, if that means you're talking to me again." She watched him closely as he seated himself, leaving one respectful, empty chair between them.

They took turns stealing glances and looking away in haste. Bella wrung her fingers in her lap, consumed by the awkward atmosphere blanketing them. 

"Thank you," she blurted out suddenly. They each looked over at the other, both startled. "For stepping in and helping. No one else did, I don't know what would've happened if you guys hadn't intervened."

Edward's shocked face softened to an endearing smile that made Bella's insides melt. "Of course," he said softly and leaned in, "no one should have to endure that." 

Inside Mr. Greene's office, Alex sat slumped in a stiff chair while the principal prodded for more answers from behind his wooden desk.

"What provoked this whole situation? We need to know how to avoid it in the future," he explained painstakingly for the hundredth time.

A masculinity crisis, Alex's mind answered quickly but he bit his tongue. "I don't know. Like I said, I'm just the new kid so I had a target on my back I guess," he huffed. He had no idea why he still felt the need to protect Brandon’s secret.

Mr. Greene sighed and leaned back in his chair. "You're sure that's all there is to it?" His eyes trained on Alex, "I've heard some rumors around the school questioning the relationship between Brandon and yourself…" he let the words hang between them.

Alex's stomach churned. "There is no relationship,” he said with finality. 

"Mr. Swan, I am aware of the slurs that those boys used against you," he watched Alex still at the mention. "Is it truly just because you are a new student?" he said more gently this time.

Alex kept his eyes fixed on the ice pack in his hands, willing the conversation to be over. 

Mr. Greene studied Alex before speaking again. "I cannot force you to tell me anything, Mr. Swan, and while you will receive no punishment for acting in self defense — on account of what happened today — I will have to call and inform your father about both the fight and the harassment that has taken place."

At that Alex's head popped up, and with wide brown eyes he pleaded, "I'll tell him about it, I promise, you don't have to call."

The principal reached for the phone on his desk. "I'm sorry but due to the escalation he must be made aware of the situation—"

"It's not your place to out me to him because of a bunch of stupid boys," Alex breathed out, knuckles clenched white around the ice pack. "Please, just… leave out the parts about the names and rumors if you have to call," he tried to reason, though he felt much closer to begging.

Mr. Greene considered him for a moment and nodded once. "Very well. If you could wait outside, Mr. Swan." He gestured to the door.

Alex composed himself and made his way out of the office to the chairs outside near the secretary, but as he went through the door he saw his sister and Edward leaning towards each other talking quietly. The two looked up when he entered the room and he raised a brow at them. Alex smirked at Bella who blushed in return and sent him a dirty look.

He took a seat next to his sister and hid his smirk behind the ice pack he raised to his eye.

Eventually Mr. Greene stepped out of his office to speak with the Swans. "Your father will be here shortly to further discuss the matter — privately — as well as to take you home, Alex. Due to the severity of your injuries we agreed it would be best if you took some time off to recuperate."

Alex sighed quietly and deflated into his chair, wincing when his ribs spasmed in protest at his slumped posture.

"Miss Swan you may stay until your father arrives, but as for you Mr. Cullen, you are dismissed." Mr. Greene waited for Edward to stand and begin making his way to the door before receding back into his office. 

As Edward's hand reached for the door handle, Alex sat up and spoke suddenly. "Wait."

Edward stopped and turned toward the twins, waiting for Alex to speak again.

"Thank you for your help, and thank your siblings for me, please."

Edward's lips turned up in the slightest of smiles. "I'll tell them," he said in a low voice and caught Bella’s eyes one last time.

Alex and Bella stared as he pushed past the door and disappeared outside. The twins then turned to one another, wading in the silence in the wake of the day’s events. 

“How are you feeling?”

“What’s with you and the Cullen kid?”

They spoke at the same time, words overlapping. Bella huffed at their unison while Alex snorted with a tight laugh, clutching his tweaking ribs.

“I’ve been better,” Alex answered first, gesturing to his swollen, red and violent face with the ice pack in his hand, “but what was with Edward? Last I knew, you were pissed at him for ignoring you again,” he finished and turned in his seat to better face his sister, awaiting an explanation.

“I don’t know, he offered to stay with me, so… I let him?” Bella’s gaze went unfocused and she involuntarily picked at her lip as she reminisced about her most recent encounter with the mysterious boy.

She pulled herself out of her thousand yard stare and shifted in her chair towards Alex. “But what happened with Mr. Greene, what is he telling Charlie…” Bella scanned Alex’s face as she dug for details. “He isn’t going to tell Charlie you’re gay, is he?”

Alex chewed at his sore cheek with worry. “I don’t think so. I asked him to leave out any details that might make Charlie suspect anything — I told him it wasn’t right to have that conversation with him, that it’s between Charlie and me.” He took a deep breath and let his head drop into his hand, elbow propped on the arm rest.

Bella nodded understandingly, crossed her arms and leaned back into her chair. Both Swans jumped when the secretary pushed into the room unannounced and took her seat behind her desk. The twins settled themselves back into their chairs, listening to the clicks of the secretary typing away while they waited for Charlie to arrive.

Not long after the call Charlie bristled into the secretary’s office and was greeted by the principal before any words were exchanged between him and his children. Charlie’s and Mr. Greene’s muffled voices behind the principal’s door had Alex on the edge of his seat, his mouth went dry and his stomach churned as he looked to his sister for relief. She gave a half-hearted smile and squeezed his arm as the voices rose and then finally came to a hush. The office door swung open and Charlie brusquely walked over to his son, and looked down at him with pain in his eyes. 

Charlie smoothed over his mustache as he spoke, “Come on, Alex, I’m taking you home.” He placed a tentative hand at Alex’s back while he eased up to stand. “You too, Bells,” he said and waited for Bella to make her way over to the door with Alex before following them out.

The ride in the squad car weighed on them heavily before Charlie broke the silence.

"So… how long has there been problems going on at school?" He regarded Alex, who avoided his gaze in the passenger seat, and eventually glanced in the mirror to see Bella in the backseat also avoiding looking at him. Charlie sighed and leaned his head into his hand as he drove. "Come on guys, please, you've got to talk to me, we can't just pretend like nothing happened."

After another long pause of silence Alex finally spoke, though he still wouldn't look at Charlie. "There were just some guys picking on me because I'm the new kid, and I told them to screw off and they decided to beat me up. That's it, Ch— Dad."

Charlie sighed again and gave up, letting the silence blanket them once more. Alex knew by his defeated posture that Charlie didn't believe him, but he hoped it would be the end of the questioning for a while.

When they got home, both Bella and Alex made a beeline for the stairs to escape to their rooms, but before Alex could get one foot on the steps, Charlie called out. 

"No, you go on, Bella — I'd like a moment with Alex, please," he said when Bella halted on the steps. Alex bowed his head and followed Charlie into the kitchen. Charlie dropped into a chair at the kitchen table and gestured for Alex to do the same. "Son, you're not in trouble…" Charlie began, "I only want to know why you never said anything to me about the issues you're having at school."

Alex rested his head in his hands, not looking at Charlie. "I don't know, I didn't think it was that big a deal."

"Not that big a deal? Son, look at what happened today," Charlie blistered.

"I know, I know. I didn't want you to worry," Alex spoke faster as Charlie tried to cut in, "and honestly, I thought it would pass — I didn't expect it to escalate like this," he finished quickly. He finally peered up at Charlie and was taken aback to see him looking a little heart broken.

He shook his head in grievance. "I understand, Alex, but I can't help you, son, if you don't tell me what's going on. Please, in the future, come to me. I promise not to get involved or whatever unless you ask me to, if that’s what you're worried about, alright?" 

"Yeah, I promise, Dad," Alex mumbled.

Charlie sighed. A few moments passed while he opened his mouth to speak but closed it, unsure of what to say next.

He looked around Alex but not at him when he spoke next. "I- I care, son, I want you to know that. And I'll always be here…" he fumbled over his words.

Alex tried to stifle a smile but it slipped through anyway as he got up from the table. "Thank you, Dad." He hugged Charlie tight enough to make his own sides burn. "You should probably be headed back to the station — I'm sorry we keep causing you to leave short notice." Alex smiled bittersweetly.

Charlie allowed himself to chuckle. "You two are worth it," he said lowly, more to himself than to Alex as he made his way toward the front door. “Oh, and uh,” he turned back to Alex before walking out, “I haven’t called your mom about this yet, I was going to leave that to you.” Charlie shut the door behind him.

Alex groaned and shuffled upstairs to lay down, relishing the quiet of his room. With the sudden anxiety of emailing Renee about the fight being pushed to the back of his mind, Alex couldn't help but to be touched by Charlie's concern and a minor twinge of guilt flared up in his chest when he thought too long about it.

Alex wrapped his arms around his sore midsection and felt the skin of his bottom lip pull around the fresh cut on it when he smiled, stiffly rolling over and drifting off to sleep, contentment and relief flowering in his heart. Before drifting off he briefly wondered how Jacob would feel about the way things had played out.

—

Bella and Charlie bustled around the kitchen in the misty morning light before Alex shambled down the stairs and joined them, bookbag slung over one shoulder and dawning his red-orange hoodie and a windbreaker, prepared for the day.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Charlie halted Alex. "And where are you going?"

"School?" He said flippantly.

Charlie scoffed. "You're supposed to stay home today. To rest, remember?"

"Dad, the longer I wait to go back to school, the bigger deal it'll be. I'm fine, I promise."

He watched Alex continue to shuffle around the kitchen, looking possibly more stiff than yesterday. Charlie raised a brow at his son when he winced as he raised his arms to reach for a glass in the cabinet.

"So I'm a little stiff, but really, Dad, I'm fine."

"You are most certainly not fine, and you need to take a day or two to recuperate." Charlie rounded and looked to Bella who sat at the table, distractedly eating cereal. "Right, Bells? Back me up here."

"Hmm?" Bella looked up at the two sets of eyes on her. "Oh… well to be honest with you Ch- Dad, I agree with Alex; putting off going back will just make people whisper and stare more," she half smiled apologetically at Charlie and suppressed a laugh when she caught Alex's victorious grin and thumbs up from behind Charlie.

"See? It'll be okay. If I feel like I can't keep up for whatever reason, I'll ask to come back home, alright?" Alex compromised. When Charlie didn't budge he continued. "Really, Dad, I don't want to miss today. It's like — they don't get to win if I show up today, like the fight was nothing," he busied himself with pouring orange juice into his glass as he spoke, voice lower than before.

The kitchen grew quiet as Charlie fought with what to do, the only sound that filled the lull was Bella's spoon clattering against her cereal bowl as she rinsed it out in the sink and the ticking of the clock on the wall. They were all running out of time to continue arguing, the day trying to begin as the minutes ticked by.

"Fine," Charlie grumbled after a moment longer. "But you feel too sore or tired, you come straight home, got it?"

Alex's smile brightened the kitchen. "Got it."

For a moment, Charlie was taken aback by Alex's shining enthusiasm. If it weren't for the bruised and battered face, he would have no idea there was anything troubling going on in the first place. A little bubble of pride reared up in Charlie's chest as he watched Alex eat his breakfast, swatting at Bella as she nabbed his glass and took a gulp of his orange juice and teased him about making them late for school. Their resilient, sometimes to the point of stubborn, nature was not lost on Charlie, and he found that bubble of pride in his chest grew just a little bigger.

Despite Bella's nagging, the Swan twins were not in fact late. Alex had enough time to waltz between buildings with his chin angled high and send a little wave in the jocks' direction — sans Brandon, who had been suspended — when he caught them sending simmering looks his way as they marched into detention. By lunch time the whispers and stares had receded as the student body's shock wore off, although Jessica and Lauren seemed to have the opposite reaction at the lunch table — they pointedly avoided looking at Alex and seated themselves as far away from him at the table as possible, wary that another violent scene would erupt. He caught Angela and Jess hissing under their breaths in a quiet argument at one point before they broke away from each other; Jessica captured Mike in conversation while Angela turned her body away from her and faced Alex.

"How are you feeling, Alex?" she asked warmly. Surprisingly, she was the first person to ask him, other than his own sister. "And I don't mean just, you know, physically. Are you okay emotionally, too," she added quickly. "Some pretty heavy stuff happened yesterday."

Alex smiled involuntarily, the split in his lip pinching. "I'm good, Angela — better than before actually. Thank you for asking," he replied just as warmly.

Later that day once the twins had climbed into the truck and were pulling out of their parking spot, Bella was in the middle of telling Alex about Mike and Eric both asking her to the spring dance, but before she could finish her story a silver Volvo cut them off. Edward sat in front of them and waited for the rest of the Cullen’s to get in. Alex could practically see the steam billowing from Bella’s ears as she glared at the shiny car. 

“Anyway,” Bella picked her story up again, “I was trying to say that I told Mike―”

A knock on Bella’s driver window. Tyler Crowley waved from the other side. Bella huffed and cranked the stiff window down half way.

“I’m sorry, Tyler, I’m stuck behind Cullen.”

“Oh, I know — I tried to catch you after class, I wanted to ask you something and figured I’d do it here while we’re trapped.” Tyler grinned at Bella and his eyes skittered over to Alex who was watching unabashedly and his smile stiffened a little. Alex quickly got the message and turned his head to look out his window, as if that meant he suddenly couldn’t overhear what was going on. “Will you ask me to the spring dance?”

Bella radiated annoyance. “I’m going to be out of town with Alex, Tyler,” she said sharply.

Alex gently pressed a hand to his mouth, careful not to touch any swollen bruises on his face, and covered an amused grin as they talked, wondering what his sister had gotten herself into.

“Alright, that’s cool. We still have prom.” Tyler scattered back to his new car before Bella could respond. The waves of irritation rolled off her with abandon now. Alex turned to look at her and held back another laugh as she white knuckled the steering wheel. When the Cullen's were finally speeding off Bella drove meticulously and slowly home.

“So,” Alex giggled, "where are we going out of town to?”

Bella sighed, finally releasing some of the built up tension from her posture. “What I had been trying to tell you earlier was that I told Mike and Eric — and Tyler, now — that you and I are going to Seattle that day.”

They fell into a peaceful quiet for a few minutes before Alex spoke up while he watched the vibrant green scenery pass them. “Not that I have a problem with going to Seattle that day, but why exactly am I included in your excuse plot to avoid the dance?”

“It seemed more believable if I wasn’t going alone,” she answered simply. “And that way I can have a better reason for not backing out of leaving town if you’re counting on me to go with you.”

“Ah, so I’m your scapegoat as much as Seattle is,” he sniffed.

“Something like that,” Bella muttered back.

“Will going along with your scheme get me out of Mike’s trip to First Beach Saturday?”

“No.”

They lapsed into easy silence. Alex let his thoughts wander. “Jessica actually talked to me today in the hall,” he contemplated aloud. “She gushed to me about Mike agreeing to go to the dance with her — I’m guessing that’s your doing,” he smirked.

Bella snorted and shook her head. “Sort of, I told Mike to say yes to her after he asked me. She made a big deal of making sure I was okay with her asking him as if staking a claim.”

"You know, I’m kind of surprised she avoided me for the first half of the day; I thought she liked attention and I was getting plenty of stares all morning — I thought she'd be picking a fight, literally, for the limelight by 2nd period." Alex grinned at Bella, “Then again, it sounds like she might have if you tried to stand in her way of Mike’s attention.”

A genuine giggle melted Bella’s icy mood.

"Angela, however," Alex said, grin turning sweet and reminiscent, "she's an absolute saint. We need to keep her around."

"I don't know, I think she deserves better than to be exposed to our mess of a life," Bella teased back.

Alex's lips quirked bittersweetly. "Yeah, probably. Car accidents, fist fights, fraternizing with the Cullen’s," he said. "I mean, who knows what we'll mix ourselves up with next."

As if he spoke too soon, the next morning the twins were walking through the parking lot to first period when they noticed Edward Cullen lingering near ahead of them.

“Looks like you have company awaiting you,” Alex whispered to Bella and darted off as fast as his battered body would allow — leaving her to walk to class alone with Edward.

“Are you aware that Alex is still listening?” Edward asked Bella as they walked. Alex had left their line of sight — walking along the opposite side of the cars in the lot — but he had purposefully stayed close enough to overhear them.

Bella huffed at Edward, still frustrated by him, and more so by her lack of understanding him. “Well he’s honestly saving both myself and him time because I’ll probably end up telling him everything that happens right now anyway.” Alex snickered to himself a few cars over.

Edward laughed much to Bella’s chagrin. “Do you tell him everything?”

“Usually. Why — is there something you don’t want me to share?” Bella stared him down electing to ignore her racing heart.

He didn’t answer. Instead Edward changed the subject, surprising both Bella and Alex with his proposal to take her to Seattle. When their conversation finally drew to a close and Edward retreated in the direction they’d come from, Alex rushed over to Bella.

“So you’re ditching me now?” The way he set his hands on his hips briefly reminded Bella of Renee and she had to stop herself from sniggering. “What am I supposed to do now, Bells, I don’t want to go to the dance either and I told Angela we were going to Seattle when she called last night and asked me to go as friends with her — you’re my scapegoat too, you know,” Alex ranted on, amusement seeping into his voice. 

Despite his protests he was actually quite elated for his sister. She would never admit it aloud but she was fixated on Cullen in a way he’d never seen from her before, and the fact that Edward seemed to be fixating back excited him for her.

“Tell you what, you have my permission to go with him if you make something of the trip, if you know what I mean,” Alex said.

Bella glared good-naturedly at him. “I make no promises,” she replied, but secretly she hoped something would come of the trip as well.

Edward’s presence didn’t stop in the morning before class. When Bella, Alex, and Jessica were waiting in the lunch line Edward motioned for Bella to join him at the empty table he was seated at. Alex raised a brow and shared an incredulous look with Jessica as Bella walked over and sat down. Given how out of the ordinary their week had become, Alex was only mildly surprised when Alice Cullen stopped him in the hallway later that day to hand him the truck keys with a note taped to it from Bella, saying that she fainted in Biology due to blood testing and was getting a ride home from Edward Cullen, don't tell Charlie. 

By the time he looked up from the note Alice was already out of sight.

Alex reread the note and chuckled. It was easy to read between the lines when it came to Bella and he wondered again just what his sister had gotten herself into.

Stiffly scaling into the truck, a sudden loneliness seeped into Alex when he looked over at the empty passenger seat. It was easy for the image of Jacob with his feet resting on the dash to appear in his mind and a flurry of nerves fluttered through his chest when he thought again about what Jacob might say when he saw his bruised and beaten self.

It would be rude of him to arrive unexpectedly, he thought. They weren’t quite that close yet were they? He wasn’t sure. A final twist of anxiety followed by a spasm of his diaphragm had Alex speeding home to collapse into his bed before he could embarrass himself somehow with one of the few people he considered a friend.

Besides, it was probably for the best to go straight home — Charlie would have a cow if he caught Alex not at home resting, and he was beginning to agree with Charlie anyway. His entire body ached and his muscles felt too tight.

Alex collapsed into his bed before remembering Bella should be home, probably shut away in her room like he was about to be. A half-hearted rap on his door frame made him open his eyes.

“Speak of the devil,” Alex mumbled. “I was just wondering how you were doing, after the fainting and all,” he explained when her brows furrowed at him.

“Oh,” Bella relaxed and crossed her arms as she leaned against his door frame, “I’m fine now, it wasn’t that bad. We — Edward and I — kind of exaggerated so I could get out of class.”

Alex snorted and eyed his twin deviously. “‘We’,” he echoed her words, staring up into his ceiling with an evil grin. 

Bella rolled her eyes and went on. “I was coming to check on you, but you seem to be doing perfectly fine,” she said acerbically, but she failed to hide the twitch of a smile on her lips as she turned away and closed his door.

Taking care of each other like old times, each twin thought as Bella retreated back to her room.

—

Squished between Angela and Lauren in Mike’s Suburban, Alex scolded himself internally for being so pessimistic about this trip to First Beach. Angela was here after all and he had grown to be quite fond of her and her reserved, calm nature. It was the only thing that kept him sane during Jessica’s non stop babbling in the front seat — Alex was thankful he at least wasn’t wedged next to her like Bella — and Lauren’s judgey aloof glances periodically thrown his way.

When they parked and spilled out of the Suburban Alex drew deep breaths of fresh windy air. His ribs spasmed and his diaphragm ached but the sharp piny scent of the forest and the cool briny ocean invigorated him immensely. Alex bounced his way down to the beach, trailing after the others and wished momentarily that he was alone to bask in the peaceful scene around him, uninterrupted.

The group seated themselves around a circle of driftwood with a blackened circle in the middle where a fire had once been. Some of the boys dug around for dry branches and smaller pieces of driftwood to get a new fire started, stacking the wood in a tee-pee shape on top of the old ashes.

Mike lit the branches and azure flames engulfed the wood. Alex — claiming he was content to sit on the open beach and watch the dancing fire — elected to stay behind when a group of others, including Bella and Angela, broke away to hike to the tidal pools nearby. He wouldn’t admit it to himself but Alex was reluctant to leave in case Jacob were to appear and rescue him as they’d joked about a couple weeks ago.

It was ridiculous to hope, Alex knew, and he expected nothing to actually happen. Jacob had no obligations to swoop in and brighten his day — he didn’t even really expect Jake to remember. It might be weird to cross the two friend groups, Alex thought nonchalantly, letting his eagerness fade before it could become unreasonable. So he contented himself with letting the others’ chatter blend with the hushing of the waves and the crackling of the fire and made himself comfortable on the stones near the flames.

As Jacob trotted closer to the group from Forks, breaking away from his friends from the res, he picked Alex out easily — sitting apart from the others and caught up in deep thought as he stared out at the ocean. But when he got closer Jacob’s stomach dropped. For a split second he thought he might cry, or maybe shout, with the sudden pulse of fury that rippled through him.

Alex had been beaten up, that much was obvious. The longer he stared the more injuries Jacob found. Alex's right eye was blackened and swollen, as well as a welt on his left cheek with a violent purple bruise across the bone with a small and already scabbed up cut at the center. A pale blue shadow of another bruise stained his jaw and his bottom lip had a dark red split down one side.

Alex’s head snapped up and his eyes wandered around the new group until they landed on Jacob.

“Looking for me?” Jake dropped down on a stone next to Alex and smiled brightly despite the knot wrenching his gut.

Alex’s lips returned the smile involuntarily. “No, I was seeing if Rachel or Rebecca was with you guys — you know, my favorites of the Black family.”

Jacob feigned disparagement. “You wound me, Alex, truly. I don’t know how I’m going to break the news to Billy that he isn’t your favorite,” he forced his laughed, trying to keep his nerves at bay. “Is he at least above me on the list? I think it’ll soften the blow.”

Alex shoved Jacob off his seat on the stone playfully and rolled his eyes. “Don’t be ridiculous, of course he’s above you on the list.” He slid off his perch and reclined on the sand with his arms propping him up.

Jacob resettled himself with his back against a stone and his smile made Alex feel warmer than the fire in front of them did.

He swallowed thickly when he noticed Alex's right knuckles were bruised purple as well. "So," he choked out after too many seconds of silence passed, "you look like you were mugged and we’re going to ignore it?"

Alex dropped his eyes to the ground.

Jacob rushed forward and pulled him into a crushing hug."You're a giant idiot, you know that?" his voice wavered with a nervous laugh.

He relaxed a bit when Alex's arm encircled his waist to return the embrace. "If it makes you feel any better I think I broke Brandon's nose," he said against Jacob's shoulder. Jake laughed more genuinely this time and gave Alex one final squeeze before releasing him. He watched Alex catch his breath and hug an arm around his sides.

"So are you going to tell me what happened or?" Jacob listened with rapt attention as Alex launched into the details. "This isn't quite what I meant when I said I wished you would stand up for yourself," Jake eyed him warily, voice low.

Alex grinned. "But it worked, I don't think anyone will bother me again. And if I'm honest, it kind of felt good…" he trailed off, a blush coloring his already discolored cheeks.

"I guess you do share my vengent streak after all," Jacob said affectionately. "Although I wish it hadn't led to the shit getting beaten out of you."

Alex grasped at his sides as his chest stuttered with a laugh. "If you think my face is bad you should see my sides."

"Is that why you've been holding yourself this whole time?" Jacob chided, avoiding thinking about what might be beneath that red-orange hoodie he'd come to associate with his friend.

"Hey, you would be too if your ribs looked like this," he said and breezily lifted one side of his sweatshirt to reveal a bright streak of violet bruises spanning from the ribs beneath his arm to his diaphragm.

Jacob's breath caught in his throat and his eyes instinctively flickered away, not wanting to face the severity of his friend's injuries he felt he was somewhat responsible for.

"How many of them were there again?" he asked, still not looking over at Alex even though his shirt was back in place.

"Three guys held me down, and Brandon was the one who… and then there was another guy holding Bella back from getting in the middle of it." Alex's eyes fixed on his shoes. "So five in total."

"Fuck," Jacob sighed. "I wouldn't have encouraged you to fight back if I realized how many of them there were. I'm s—"

"Jacob Black, I swear to god if you say 'I'm sorry' I'm going to pick a fight with you next. Oddly enough I'm happy how things worked out and I wouldn't change a thing. My bruises will heal. I'll be fine. No serious harm done." Alex pinned Jacob to his seat in the sand with daggers in his eyes.

He gaped at Alex's sudden ferocity and vaguely thought those jocks must be a different kind of stupid for thinking Alex would be an easy target.

"Alright fine, but next time at least give me some kind of warning so I can be there to step in or back you up."

“Oh, you think I need some kind of rescuing, is that it?” Alex grisled playfully.

“Obviously,” Jacob looked Alex up and down with mirth dancing on his features, “that’s why I’m here, isn’t it?”

He looked away from Jacob and surveyed the people he’d come with to distract from the heat rising to his cheeks.

“Who’s here with you?” Alex watched as the oldest looking boy, more of a man really, introduced himself to Mike and the others returning from the tidal pools. 

“That’s Sam,” Jake motioned to the man Alex was looking at, “and over there talking to that group of girls is Jared, and next to him is Paul.”

“No Embry or Quil?” Alex raised a brow at him. “I was under the impression the three of you were almost always together.”

Jake tittered, a faint blush reddening his cheeks. “I, uh, was with them earlier when I heard Sam, Paul, and Jared were coming here. I said I’d see what I could do, didn’t I?” he laughed again, more genuinely this time as he regained his breezy nature.

Alex ducked his head and pressed his lips together to contain his smile at the thought of Jake cancelling plans to be with him.

Bella appeared at Alex’s other side and sat on the end of a log next to the two boys.

“Hey, stranger, it’s good to see you again.” Jake leaned forward slightly as he spoke in order to peer across Alex to see Bella.

Before she could respond, Lauren’s voice interrupted the trio from across the fire. “So you guys know each other, Alex?” she asked in an insolent, invasive tone, looking between the three of them — though her eyes were mostly focused on Jacob and Alex.

“Yeah, we’ve all sort of known each other since I was born,” Jake interjected. He glanced over at the twins and smiled, a laugh close to the surface.

“Oh,” Lauren’s eyes scrutinized them, “how nice.”

Alex exhaled sharply through his nose and resisted rolling his eyes. 

“You know, Bella, I was just saying to Tyler how it’s a shame none of the Cullen's could come today. Didn’t anyone think to invite them?” She batted her lashes innocently but she wasn’t fooling either of the Swan's.

“Dr. Carlisle Cullen’s family?” Sam’s deep voice broke through the circle. Next to Alex, Jacob involuntarily stiffened.

“Yes, do you know them?” Lauren crossed her arms as she turned to ask. Alex watched Jacob’s still form out of the corner of his eye.

“The Cullen's don’t come here,” Sam said with finality. His strange change in demeanor caught Alex and Bella’s attention while the others went back to their previous conversations. Alex cocked his head as he tried to process the exchange they just witnessed. He looked over to Bella after a moment to find her in that thousand yard stare again, though he could see the gears in her head turning.

“Hey, Jake, do you want to take a walk on the beach with me?” Bella asked.

“Sure, sure. Alex?” Jake turned to Alex and presented a hand to help him up. Bella internally groaned — she knew her flirting tactic to get information out of Jake wouldn’t go as smoothly with Alex there.

They walked along the dark sand until they reached a large white drift log, and they sat. Alex stared down his sister, feeling something was off, that she was up to something. She was never very good at lying — especially not to Alex — so he kept quiet while she made small talk with Jacob, wondering when the ball might drop.

The moment she oh-so innocently asked, "Yeah, what was all that about 'the Cullen’s don’t come here'?" and fluttered her eyelashes at Jacob, Alex rolled his eyes and grimaced to himself. So this was about her obsession with Edward Cullen, he thought.

He could admit that Edward was weird. There was definitely something not normal about him and the fact that everyone else brushed it off almost bothered him more than the strange things about the Cullen's in the first place. But did Bella really have to corner Jacob and use him like this? It wasn't necessary for her to make him all blushy and on edge when she could just ask.

Although he’d loathe to admit it, Alex was curious about the remark too. It had highlighted itself in his mind and he couldn’t get it out. It was an itch he couldn’t scratch. Despite his reservations with Bella’s methods he listened to Jake’s ‘scary story’ with rapt attention.

Jacob danced around the details and hesitated before the reveal — the answer Bella was surely looking for — in the legend he was sharing.

“Vampire,” he said eventually, shifting and laughing off the word. Alex stared out at the endless grey where ocean met sky as Bella pried with more questions. The clouds were growing denser and dark, and the air hummed in an electrified way that made the hair on his arms rise, though Alex wasn’t sure if that was the coming storm or Jacob’s story.

Mike eventually waved and called out to them. The others from Forks were wanting to make their escape before the downpour could start.

Bella thanked Jacob and ran ahead of them with a final flirty wink in Jake’s direction. Alex would positively throttle her later.

"So uhh… pretty crazy legend, huh?" Jacob sheepishly glanced at Alex, gauging his silence as they walked toward the others packing up to leave.

"Yeah, crazy…” Alex chewed his lip, “but am I crazier if I think there might be some vein of truth in there?"

Jacob gaped at him, almost laughing, thinking he was joking at first before reading the sober expression on his face and tense set of his shoulders, hands tucked into his jacket pockets.

"You’re joking," Jake deadpanned.

Alex pressed his lips together, unsure if he wanted to continue. He shook his head no. “Why do you think Bella was asking so much about them. About the Cullen’s."

Jacob studied him closely, mind racing, not knowing where to even begin. "Okay, spill — what do you know about that I don't?"

The bass of rolling thunder echoed around them and wind whipped against their faces.

"Could I pick you up after I get back to the truck and drop Bella off at home? You could spend the night; I’ll tell you everything I’m thinking then," Alex proposed.

Ahead of them Mike yelled out above the thrashing wind. "Alex, let’s go! Hurry up!"

The two boys picked up their pace, the group from Forks had begun to make their way to Mike’s Suburban.

"I’ll see you at six," Jacob said more than asked.

Alex turned around to walk backwards as he confirmed, "Six."

Just when dusk set in behind the steely clouds Alex made it to Jacob’s house. The rain had momentarily lightened up but another patch of black clouds loomed not far, a second wind was on its way.

"Alright, tell me everything," Jacob announced before he even closed his passenger door.

Alex started with the accident. In the midst of sharing he realized this Cullen thing had started before that. Alex backtracked and corrected himself. "The first day of school actually, now that I think about it. Bella told me Edward Cullen stormed out of class and she heard him trying to change his schedule afterwards that day. Then he disappeared for a week." Alex let his words hang heavy between them.

Jacob stared out the rain sloshed windshield with wide eyes, his pulse growing more erratic with every new detail Alex brought up.

"I’m starting to think you are the crazy one, Alex." Jake said. "But if you say you know what you saw, and you’re sure about this gut feeling you have, then I believe you."

After he put the truck in park, Alex rested the side of his head against his hands on the steering wheel, face turned toward Jacob. His eyes shone warmly for a moment, suspended in the fuzzy feeling in his chest, before he turned and climbed out of the truck. Jake followed suit and after a polite hello to Charlie they made their way upstairs to Alex's room.

"You really believe me?" Alex asked as he gathered spare blankets and pillows to make a pallet bed on the floor for Jake.

"I’m not convinced the story of the cold ones is as literal or extreme as it is. It’s mostly just a scary story sparked from something much smaller than the actual reality, right?” Jake said from his seat on Alex’s bed. “Like how rumors grow and change into something unrecognizable."

“I’m not sure.” Alex furrowed his brows in thought. “I think there’s bigger things in the world than either of us probably even know of — greater forces at work than that we aren’t aware of and all that,” he sighed. 

Jacob grew quiet as he mulled over Alex’s words. “Maybe we aren’t aware of the crazy things lurking in the world because we aren’t supposed to get involved,” he said finally.

Alex fidgeted with the afghan in his hands, staring down at his fingers threading through the holes in the blanket. “But if those crazy things knocked on my front door, I’d probably walk out to meet them — wouldn’t you?” He raised his eyes to meet Jacob’s. 

A heavy silence settled over them. The bedroom darkened and the sound of rain slapping the windows picked up, thunder crackling far away.

A mischievous smirk pulled on Alex’s lips as he asked, “You like scary stories, right, even if you don’t believe in them?”

Afraid of what he was up to, Jacob hesitantly nodded.

“Come on then,” Alex pulled on his arm and ushered them out of his room, “it’s the perfect night for a horror marathon.”

Charlie had already departed from his nightly sports game and Alex could hear him showering as they passed the bathroom on their way downstairs. Alex motioned for Jacob to settle himself on the couch while he grabbed several dvds — all horror movies, ranging from the paranormal to slashers to the psychological.

Jacob couldn’t help the grin that overtook him as he realized what Alex was planning.

“Take your pick.”

“Personally,” Jacob said, “I’m a fan of gore.”

Alex grinned back at him. “Slasher it is.”

They spent the rest of the night huddled on the couch, and although they had their own separate blankets and they started on opposite ends of the sofa — by the 4th movie, Alex and Jacob’s shoulders were pressed together, somehow both boys shared a swatch of each other’s blankets. They nearly got as much enjoyment from the reactions of the other than from the movies themselves — they made jabs and snickered playfully when one of them would jump or cringe or hide behind their hands. Alex sunk into the cushions, slouched and curled up under the tangled blankets while Jacob kept his back firmly rooted to the sofa, as if on high alert.

If Alex let his head fall a little to his right it would rest it on Jacob’s shoulder, he realized at one point during the 5th movie. He shifted minutely to rest his weight on his left hip.

By the time the credits rolled it was approaching two in the morning. Jacob and Alex agreed it was time to sleep, and they darted upstairs — pushing each other out of their way so as not to be the last one on the stairs with the pitch black living room looming behind him. Alex held in a victorious giggle when he reached the steps first and raced up them with light feet, Jacob close on his heels.

Alex collapsed gracelessly onto his bed, leaning over to the nightstand on the left to click a switch. Just as Jacob entered, soft colored lights illuminated the dark room so he could find his way to his makeshift bed between Alex’s and the wall. Strung around the headboard post and up onto the wall were several small paper lantern globes — golden orange, deep fuchsia, scarlet red, cerulean blue, and fern green. They hung across the corner wall between the bed and the window, illuminating the corner of the room where Jacob’s makeshift bed was tucked away.

Jacob’s dark eyes reflected and shone the rainbow of colors as he settled into his bed. Alex pulled his covers around himself and turned to lay on his left side to face him. 

“Goodnight, Jake.”

He rolled onto his right side and peered up. “Goodnight, Alex,” Jacob whispered back.

Alex reached over and clicked off the lights, letting the room go dark. Jacob momentarily thought about asking him to turn them back on, he liked the warm glowing pocket they created, but his eyelids weighed themselves shut and his body went limp before he could think twice. His steady breaths lulled Alex into a dreamless sleep in no time.

The sky had barely begun to lighten when Alex begrudgingly woke up. His tongue stuck to the roof of his dry mouth and his throat clenched with thirst. He squinted through the grey darkness and saw Jacob dead asleep on his stomach with one arm stretched out above him and the other tucked into his side.

The digital alarm clock on his nightstand read nearly 5:30 AM. Not able to get comfortable again, Alex slipped out of his room and hastily made his way to the kitchen for a glass of water. Last night’s jitters from the horror movies still lingered on the edges of his nerves and made him hyper aware of every shadow and noise in the quiet house. On his way back up the stairs a faint creak reached Alex’s ears and his pace quickened, as did his pulse. Rounding sharply on the second floor landing, Alex’s heart plummeted into his stomach when he nearly slammed into a figure. A yelp of shock knotted in his throat and his arms flew around himself before he realized it was only Bella, who looked equally as terrified. She braced herself with a hand on the wall and took deep breaths to swallow down the scream she’d held back. Alex had one hand clutched over his heart and the other arm hugging his fragile ribs. They stared at each other as they caught their breaths and let their pulses return to normal.

“What are you doing up?” Bella hissed between her teeth.

“What are YOU doing up?” Alex choked back. “I was just getting water — why are you awake?”

Bella shifted her weight. “I… had a nightmare — couldn’t go back to sleep,” she whispered. Alex regarded her closely, deciphering her to know if she needed some kind of comfort, but she looked eager to move on.

“Is Charlie home?” Alex asked.

Bella straightened, shrugging off her discomfort, when she answered, “No his car is gone.”

“Fishing,” they said in unison. Alex humphed an almost laugh.

“Alright, well I’m going back to bed,” he said in a tired gravelly voice, his sleep deprived eyes beginning to sting. He didn’t wait for a reply and slipped back into his room, shutting the door as softly as he could, aware that Jake was still sleeping. As he settled back under his covers and let his burning eyes finally close he heard the susurrance of the shower starting up.

Several hours later the sound of a far off door thumping shut registered with Jacob, pulling him out of the floating, half-awake, half-asleep state he had been suspended in. Jake turned over onto his back, and — after seeing Alex’s still form beneath his cocoon of blankets — took in his dimly lit setting. Weak silver light streamed in from the window above his left side and the one at the far end of the room — the sheer chalky curtains blurring the morning brightness. Alex’s bedroom was strangely calming, Jake thought while looking around, taking notice of things he hadn’t before. Directly above him hung a pale seashell mobile, strung together with thin frayed rope — that was one of the few things that had always been in Alex’s room for as long as Jacob could remember, stretching back to the days of their early childhood summers. The dark wooden dresser on the other side of the window next to him hadn’t always been there however, and neither had the matching desk against the wall between the closet and bedroom door. Jacob noticed what looked like glasses and mugs full of paint brushes and pencils and pens sitting at the back of the desk, an asymmetric stack of notebooks and novels teetering close to the edge. 

Above the desk a large deep blue poster was tacked to the wall. White dashes and dots making up random shapes inside the circle at the center — it was a star map Jacob realized. There were a few strings drawing lines from constellations to rectangles of texts taped around the map, overlapping the edge of the poster and the wall. Along with the texts that were too small for Jacob to read from his corner were various other quotes and lyrics and sketches and messy paintings. Most of the paintings were of nature scenes, the colors and lines growing undetailed around the edges — defined forest branches and leaves became blobs, crests of ocean waves flared off in lazy swipes, reddish brown canyon sides smeared away.

Jacob remembered watching Alex and his sister Rebecca paint at their kitchen table when they were little, with his mom moving about them and sometimes painting with them too. They weren’t quite old enough then to be unsupervised with such a potentially messy pass time, and his mom, ever the artist, was always more than happy to watch over and encourage them. Jacob pushed an ache in his chest away and wondered if Alex remembered those days too — wondered if his mom was in some way the cause of those scenic paintings taped on Alex’s wall.

He forced his eyes and mind to keep wandering.

On top of the dresser sat an outdated stereo with mostly neat stacks of cassettes and cd's next to it. Some of the cassettes were labelled — Jake recognized Alex’s handwriting — and another pile was blank. He suddenly recalled the mixtape Alex had promised him and fought the childish urge to wake him up just to ask and subdue his gnawing curiosity.

“Oh no…” a rough and low voice groaned.

Jacob snapped his head over to the source and saw Alex squinting and rubbing his eyes, one hand pulled up his comforter to shield his face from the brightening room. 

“I know that evil little look on your face,” Alex said, “what could you possibly be plotting already?”

“Nothing serious,” Jake laughed at the sulky look on Alex’s face. He was obviously not a morning person. “I was wondering when I’d get my mixtape.”

Alex scoffed and stiffly sat up, pulling the comforter up with him and tugged it around his shoulders. “All good things take time,” he mumbled, sleep still encroaching on his voice. “If I’m going to make you a mixtape it’s going to be special. Each song handpicked — no cheap, cop-out filler songs.” He eyed Jacob, although one eye was still squinted as he adjusted to being awake.

Jacob went back to soaking in the peaceful room as Alex checked the time and stretched his taut, battered muscles. His curiosity got the better of him when he strained his eyes to read the words taped around the star map, so Jacob rose from his blanket pile on the floor and meandered over to sit at the desk chair. The blocks of texts with string connecting them to constellations were excerpts cut from pages in a book detailing facts and myths surrounding the star patterns. Alex had lines of text and drawings of constellations Virgo, Lupus, Cygnus, and Aquarius. Next to Lupus and Cygnus were pen drawings of a wolf and a swan respectively. 

Spider webbing off of the swan drawing was what looked like a name definition that had been cut from a different book. 

'Alessio. “Defender; protector”. Italian origin.'

“Hey, Alex, why do you have ‘Alessio’ taped to your wall?” Jacob turned to look at Alex who had seated himself on the end of his bed, looking at Jacob looking at the collage on his wall.

Alex shifted so that he sat cross legged and he fiddled with the corner of the blanket in his lap. “It’s what my mom originally wanted to name me — she’s passionate about her Italian roots and all — but Charlie vetoed it, saying it was too unusual. They compromised and settled on the anglicized version, ‘Alexander’,” he said. A blush crept up his neck and he shook his head as he continued. “When I was younger I wanted that to be my real name instead and tried to force it to become my nickname or something,” Alex laughed sheepishly, “It never stuck — obviously — people dismissed it as just one of those weird kid things. Which it kind of was.”

“How is it weird?” Jacob regarded Alex with such a genuine look that it made his blush deepen to red.

“You’re not the only one with a crazy story; my overactive imagination ran away with the meaning behind the name, I used to think—” Alex huffed a bashful laugh and hid behind his hands— “I used to think I was given the name because I was the next in some long line of chosen protectors over the family or something like that.” He avidly avoided meeting Jacob’s amused gaze. “I had a wild imagination…” he mumbled dismissively.

Jacob’s lips broke into a bright and blinding smile as he listened to Alex. He looked him over as if watching something click into place. When Alex finally peeked a glance at Jacob he immediately rushed into his own defense case. “I wasn’t kidding when I said I thought the world held bigger things in it than we know of,” he said, “even if it’s not as dramatic as the outlandish backstory I imagined for myself as a kid.”

“No, I like it,” Jacob said. “It’s unusual, but it suits you.” His smile turned sweet and Alex had to pull his eyes away before his insides tried to melt.

“Are you saying I’m unusual, Jacob Black?” he scoffed playfully.

“Maybe a little bit. You’re too interesting for normal, Mister I pick fights with people who can definitely beat me up,” Jake smirked devilishly. “‘Defender’ is very fitting, is it not?”

A fresh blush colored Alex’s cheeks and he covered his smile behind his hand, unable to hold it back.

A while later after the boys had gotten dressed to take Jacob back home, Bella came in through the back door, smelling like evergreen and earth.

“I was beginning to wonder where you disappeared to. I thought you had gone out but the truck was still here,” Alex looked at Bella expectantly.

“I went for a walk.” She began to make her way upstairs. “Truck keys are on the kitchen table,” she called out behind her.

Alex shouted a thank you back, pushing away his curiosity at her abruptness, and followed Jacob out to the truck.

The day was bright, the sun stubbornly shone through the misty pale clouds that rarely left the sky, and the usual damp chill only crept in when the breeze swept by. They rode with the windows rolled down as far as they would go to soak in the pleasant weather. 

Jacob had his feet kicked up on the dash and one arm hanging out the passenger window when he spoke. “Supposedly the sun is going to stay for a few more days before disappearing again.” He looked over Alex’s skeptical frown. “Supposedly,” he repeated. “If it stays nice I think my friends from the res are going to have their bonfire on the beach sometime this week…” Jake flickered his eyes to and from Alex who kept his calm sight on the road. “What I’m getting at is you’re invited,” he finished quickly. “Bella is too, if she wants to come of course,” he disclaimed.

The corner of Alex’s lips pulled into a flattered, timid smile. “I wouldn’t get my hopes up about Bella. I on the other hand would love to go. Will I finally get to meet the infamous Quil and Embry?” he teased.

Jacob rolled his eyes but a smile persisted on his features. “Yes, they will be there,” he laughed.

Alex grinned and asked Jake to call him when he had more details.

When the truck pulled into the Black’s driveway, Alex’s heart gently sunk and his sides protested when his posture deflated. Jacob laid one hesitant hand on the door handle but his body still faced Alex.

“I’ll see you later, Alessio,” he murmured and hopped out of the truck cabin. He waved as he walked to his front door and Alex pulled out of the driveway — the sinking feeling gone and replaced with an elation he refused to acknowledge. He bit his lip to contain his grin, the split in his bottom lip stung.

—

Sure enough Jacob was right. The Swan twins were giddy upon waking up to sunshine and blue skies on Monday morning. The warmth from the yellow rays caressed their skin with familiarity and Alex was momentarily struck by a piercing wave of homesickness. He decided to leave behind his hoodie since, with the sun out, it already felt like he had a piece of home with him. As he met Bella downstairs to leave for school, he saw that they had both dressed in short sleeves, however just before walking out they each grabbed a jacket off the coat hooks by the door, their silent pessimistic agreement that the sun probably wouldn’t last long.

Later at lunch, after gossiping about the Cullen’s absence, Jessica said she wanted a girls’ night and set plans with Angela, Lauren, and Bella to go dress shopping in Port Angeles after school.

“And you can come too, Alex,” she bounced with her usual bubbliness. 

Alex took a moment to process her words, not wanting to believe them. “I’m good, Jess,” he said slowly, sharply. “I don’t need to be apart of girl’s night…” he drawled, offense poorly concealed.

Angela chimed in before anyone else could respond. “Jess, I know you meant well, but I don’t think it’s a compliment or flattering for Alex to be invited, or to assume that he would even want to go,” just because he’s gay — her unsaid words were easy to hear. Jessica mumbled unintelligibly and turned her attention on Mike, pushing away her embarrassment. Alex mouthed a thank you to Angela who grinned back smartly.

“Have you decided if you’re going to ask anyone else to the dance?” Alex asked her.

Angela sighed and rested her chin in her hand. “Bella suggested I ask Ben.”

“You don’t sound too enthusiastic about that.”

“I mean I like Ben, he’s a great guy, he’s super sweet but—” she rambled on, quick to explain. Something familiar about her words, her excuses, registered with Alex and an awed but playful grin spread across his face. “Why are you looking at me like that?” she questioned after her spiel.

Alex chuckled breathily, “I’ll tell you later.” He shook his head, more at himself than at her. How had he not noticed?

For the sake of discretion Alex waited until he had Bella alone on the way home from school to ask what she knew of Angela’s romantic stance.

Bella cocked her head curiously as she pondered over his question. “She’s never said anything outright to me, but now that you mention it I guess I’ve never heard her talk much about boys either. And she’s always been very defensive over you, like today at lunch. Usually she doesn’t bother to combat Jessica’s inappropriate comments, but she did for you.”

Alex snickered at a thought that dashed across his mind. “Oh wouldn’t it be ironic if Jess was trying to make me her gay best friend not realizing she might already have one.”

Bella laughed sharply, “I think you’re jumping the gun a little — we can hardly know yet.”

He turned to look out his window and grinned deviously, “My spidey senses are tingling, Bells, I’m sure of it.”

By the time the twins were home and setting out a blanket to bask in the rare sun, their speculation about Angela had morphed into a rant about Jessica’s invitation to Alex, fueled on by her phone call to reschedule the girls’ dress shopping for tomorrow night, extending the invitation to him once again.

“I swear to god if Jessica keeps trying to make me her gay best friend I’m going snap. Again.”

“Obviously,” said Bella, “I mean you’re already Jacob’s, and you can’t be two people’s gay best friend’s.”

Alex rolled his eyes and groaned at Bella’s sarcasm. He flopped down on his back on the blanket, cracking open his book and pretending to ignore her satisfied smirk. Bella calmly sat and turned to lay on her stomach while she flipped through her own novel.

She glanced over to the book in Alex’s hand. “Oscar Wilde again? Don’t you have plenty of other books you haven’t even read yet?” 

Alex murmured, “Look who’s talking,” and eyed her Jane Austen novel.

They returned their attentions to the respective pages in front of them. The rays of the sun warmed them into a drowsy state. Submerged in the peaceful bliss around them Alex’s mind wandered to Jacob and the coming bonfire with his friends, to their drive with the windows down — wind whipping around them, and sunlight filtered into his mental picture of Jacob smiling over at him with one arm lazing out the window to feel the breeze. The memory grew warmer and brighter, and the rumble of the truck rose around him. He felt weightless, like he was floating, not really anchored to his seat in a moment of broken gravity. Jacob’s musical laugh drifted to his ears.

A dull whack on his arm woke Alex up. Bella looked prepared to hit him with her book again when he opened his eyes, but she rose from the blanket when he sat up. Alex looked around, realizing he must have dozed off for a couple of hours — lilac was beginning to bleed into the sky and Charlie’s cruiser was pulling into the driveway.

After the twins folded up their blanket, they trailed after Charlie into the house ready to begin the evening rituals they had fallen into. Alex was in the middle of helping Bella prepare dinner when the phone rang. Bella went to reach for it, thinking it might be Angela or Jessica calling again, but Alex called out before she could answer it.

“I’ll get it — I’m waiting for a call from Jake so this might be him.”

Bella raised a brow at him but dismissively nodded and went back to slicing vegetables. 

Jacob’s husky pleasant voice waited on the other end when he picked up the phone. Alex turned his back to the kitchen and twisted the phone cord around his index finger while he talked.

“Hey, I was hoping you’d call soon — got the details about the bonfire?” Alex smiled as he thought about it, already growing eager.

Jacob’s easy laugh tickled his ear through the phone and Alex briefly recalled the dream he’d had while napping in the yard. “You read my mind,” Jake said. “Tuesday seems like it’ll be the last day of nice weather so we’re going tomorrow to First Beach right after school.”

“I’ll get there as soon as I can then.” Alex pressed his lips together, not knowing what else there was to say but not wanting to hang up so quickly.

On the other end of the line Jacob dug his teeth into his bottom lip. “Alright. Good. I’ll see you tomorrow then,” his tone nearly made it sound like a question.

“Yeah, tomorrow,” Alex let his nervous energy out with a little laugh. “Goodnight, Jake, thanks again for inviting me.”

“Sure, sure… bye, Alex.” After a pause the line went dead and Alex placed the phone into its cradle. He spun around and went back to stirring the pot on the stove with new vigor in his step. Bella glanced at him repeatedly.

“What, Bella?”

“Nothing,” she turned and busied herself with readying plates and silverware.

During dinner Bella informed Charlie of her plans to go to Port Angeles tomorrow after school, filling in all the details he asked about, she’d be getting a ride from Jessica along with Angela Weber. Alex took the time to throw in that he’d be going to First Beach to meet and hang out with some of Jacob’s friends from the res.

“Well, alright, I guess I’ll have the house to myself tomorrow night then,” Charlie leaned back in his chair, mildly surprised by his usually introverted kids having plans — on the same night and apart from each other nonetheless — but who was he to stand in their way of making friends.

—

Alex dropped Bella off at home after school to change and grab her purse before he left for First Beach, passing Jessica’s white Mercury as he drove out of the neighborhood. He had to stop himself from speeding down the mostly empty roads, his whole body zinging with either excitement or anxiety, he wasn’t sure yet.

The group from La Push was already kicking a ball up and down the shore and fooling around by the time Alex pulled into the lot overlooking the beach. Jacob had kept an eye out for the monstrous truck, and upon spotting it parked he dashed up the beach to meet Alex. He had barely climbed out of the truck when Jacob flung an arm around him, pulling Alex into a half hug that he happily returned.

Making their way down to the others Alex let out in a rush, “I don’t know how to make friends; new people are a total mystery to me.”

Jacob dropped his head back with a cackle before composing himself. “Don’t worry, Alex, just be yourself, okay?”

“Right, because making friends and being myself has gone so well for me so far.”

Jacob shook his head and laughed at him again.

“What do they know about me? Like have you told them as much about me as you’ve told me about them?” Alex eyed the group ahead warily. He usually didn’t care what people thought of him, but being accepted by Jacob’s group weighed on him more than he’d anticipated, now that he was actually confronted with it.

Jake grinned. “I’ve only told them good things, I promise.”

“Does that mean you left out or included the story of me picking a fight with five guys…” Alex’s mind easily brought to surface what Jacob had told him about some of the others — that Quil was not afraid of picking fights himself, and that Paul was prone to finding himself in such situations due to his temper — and he wondered if he’d have to retell the incident. He needed to decide quickly if he wanted to share the true reasons behind his bruised face. They didn’t need to know right away — Alex hated being introduced as ‘the gay friend’, or people making prejudgments about him based on his sexuality — but people don’t just get into a fight like he had over a few shoves in the hallway so surely there would be prying questions. On the other hand, Alex had already been forced to be out to the kids at school. And in some small way he was tired of the tension that built when he waited to tell others, like a bomb being dropped, it never got easier. That tired part of Alex would rather he take back ownership of his queerness by just being out like it didn’t matter, because it didn’t.

Jacob huffed at him, breaking through his fog. “I can see you spiraling, it’ll be okay, I promise.” His deep eyes were so utterly genuine that Alex couldn’t help but to believe him. Calmness spreading through him as if Jacob had poured it out of himself and given it to him.

“Am I interrupting?” A boy jogged over to them as they neared the circle of driftwood logs.

“Not at all,” Alex said and broke his eyes away from Jacob. The boy looked back and forth between Jacob’s beguiled grin and Alex’s poorly concealed guilty smile.

“...You’ll spill before the night’s over,” he said with utmost confidence. Alex burst into laughter, feeling won over already. When he glanced at Jake he saw him grinning ear to ear.

“Alex this is Quil; Quil, Alex Swan.” Jake explained while three others meandered over. Alex tried to ignore the way Quil’s eyes lingered on his bruised cheek and eye. The swelling had gone down and the bruises had faded to blues and greens but they were still far from unnoticeable.

“One of the twins right?” a new boy inclined. “I’m Paul by the way. I think I saw you Saturday but we never actually talked. Where’s the other half?”

Alex sniggered. “Out with some girls from Forks, you might’ve met them Saturday, actually.”

“That’s alright, you’re the one we’ve been dying to meet — Jacob won’t shut up about you—” the last boy spoke coolly before receiving a sharp elbow to his ribs. Heat flickered across Alex’s cheeks as he watched Jacob scold the tall boy. 

“Well I am the better twin after all.” Alex focused on the tall boy with shoulder length hair tucked behind his ears. “And you must be Embry then, right?”

The boy’s face broke into a surprised smile. “Sure does,” he answered.

“Someone did their homework,” Paul heckled Alex good-naturedly, giving his shoulder a playful shove. Alex could have sworn he saw pride in Jake's eyes when their gazes met. 

The five boys made their way over to the empty bonfire pit where a morose looking girl sulked on a log. She looked closer to his age than the other boys Alex had just met but he didn’t bother inquiring; her crossed arms and set jaw spoke loud enough. 

“Oh, don’t mind Leah, she’s here against her will because we’re trying to force her to socialize,” Quil plopped down across from Leah and grinned at her. She glowered in response.

“Why is that, if you don’t mind me asking.” Alex looked in Jake’s direction.

“Boy trouble,” Jacob half-whispered and bumped Alex’s shoulder when he sat down next to him. Without needing to look over, Alex could feel Jacob’s scrutinizing eyes trained on him. “It found her almost as bad as it found you.”

“What found you?” Embry spoke up. They had caught the other’s attention now, even Leah was facing them.

“Just trouble,” Jacob threw Alex a perilous smirk.

A soccer ball flew into Jacob’s lap and caused both of them to startle. “Hey, no inside jokes allowed unless I’m in on it,” said Quil, standing across from them. “And I’m still waiting for you to give a full backstory to those shiners, Alex — Jake hardly gave any details.”

“Yeah, we’d be lying if we said we weren't curious,” Paul added. “I mean you’ve been here for like less than a month and you managed to pick what looks like a hell of a fight,” Paul leaned forward and grinned at him. The heat on Alex’s cheeks from earlier returned with a vengeance and it burned a path down his neck.

“I’ve got all night to keep you waiting before I have to spill,” Alex teased back, hiding his nerves behind humor.

“Fair enough.” Quil said and ran backwards several paces. “Up for a game, Alex?” he called out.

Hesitation crossed Alex’s face before he sighed. “Why the hell not,” he said and snatched the ball out Jacob’s grasp. He took off toward Quil with Paul and Embry following closely behind.

“Uh, hey! You don’t get to just make friends with my friend and then fifth wheel me!” Jacob shouted at them. Leah snickered from her spot on the log. Jacob felt bad for her — he couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen her smile. While they weren’t that close — their dads being better friends than they were — he'd known her all his life and considered her family. Jake hated to see her in such deep pain and hoped by dragging her out here that maybe they could at least distract her from the pain, even if it was just for a few hours.

“I’ll race you over there,” he said, knowing it was rare for her to pass up a challenge to outrun someone.

The inner conflict to accept or decline flickered across her pretty features. “You’re on.”

They dashed and kicked up sand in their wake, joining the other boys. Paul was already showing off, hogging the ball and keeping it in the air with his knees before Quil intercepted and ungracefully kicked it away from him in Alex’s direction. Alex caught up to the ball and ran with it, kicking it ahead of him with more grace than Jacob expected. He was obviously no athlete, but he was not nearly as much of a hazard as his twin. Leah passed in front of Jake and was on Alex’s heels before he even knew she was near. She rounded sharply and kicked the ball from Alex, sliding in the sand as her feet fumbled around his.

They went on like that. Unspoken teams established themselves quickly — Alex, Quil, and Embry gravitated to one another, choosing to pass the ball to one of them over Leah or Paul or Jake, who consequently formed the other unofficial team.

At one point Jacob crowded Alex’s space and the two boys stumbled and slid in the loose sand, laughing and pushing one another to keep control of the ball before Embry dashed in and stole it. Alex slipped as his foot failed to collide with the ball and their tangled bare feet brought Jacob down with him. 

Now that was the clumsy Alex he’d expected, Jacob thought. They laid next to each other in the sand giggling before Jacob stood and extended a hand to Alex, who was holding his ribs — a grimace fighting to replace his smile. 

When the blue sky shifted to orange and pink, Quil, Embry, and Leah began to make their way around the beach, digging for twigs and dry leaves as a fire starter while Jake and Alex accompanied Paul to grab the firewood from his car. 

A cool wind swept off the ocean and raised the hairs on Alex’s arms.

Paul’s and Alex’s hands were full with stacks of wood, Jacob was able to hold the last few pieces in one hand. As they passed Alex’s truck on the way back to the beach he nodded to Jacob.

“Grab my hoodie from the truck for me? Should be in the passenger seat,” Alex said.

Jacob opened the door with his free hand and asked, “There’s two in here — I’m guessing you mean the red one, not the brown one?” He held up the cloth. It unfurled from its puddle in the seat and Jacob recognized the Phoenix, Arizona written across it in darker lettering.

“I don’t see a red one but I see an orange one,” Paul jabbed at him, looking over his shoulder.

“Yeah, the other one is Bella’s,” Alex answered Jacob, ignoring Paul’s combative tease directed at Jacob.

“This is red, Paul,” Jake said plainly.

“You’re literally crazy — that is orange.” The two boys stared at each other before Jacob slung the hoodie in question over his shoulder and walked ahead to catch up with Alex who shook his head and smiled at their bickering.

“What color do you call this, Alex?” Jacob asked when he was next to him.

“I consider it, like, a blood orange,” he said easily.

Jacob barked a sharp laugh. “That is such a pretentious artist answer!” He grinned playfully at him. Alex forced his lips together to subdue his smile, but lost his composure when Paul shouted from a few paces behind them.

“Orange was in the answer, so I’m right, Black! Hah!”

Hours later after the sky shifted to a deep shade of twilight, the group sat in a circle around the fire pit again, with sand in their clothes and a satisfying exhaustion growing in their bodies. The fire flickered yellow and white and encompassed them in a pocket of light in the afterglow clinging to the sky. 

Alex had observed Leah with intrigue for most of the evening and decided to sit by her with Jacob on his left side. She stared at him in bewilderment but said nothing. They hadn’t spoken to each other yet, but Alex immediately liked her steady fierceness, and what to others would be intimidating glares. He liked her quiet fire.

He faced the rest of the group and listened to their bantering, amused by their familial dynamic. Leah repeatedly glanced at Alex, unsettled by his choice to sit by her — most people left her to brood by herself nowadays. She unashamedly stared at his profile and let her mind run with questions about the blue-green bruise around his right eye. Alex shifted to look at her, aware of her staring, and she snapped her head forward, eyes glued straight ahead, guilty. As soon as he turned back to the group she glanced at him from the corner of her eye again. Alex smirked, the left side of his lip quirking up so she wouldn’t notice.

Leah thought he seemed kind, not an annoying little nuisance like Paul or Quil or even Jacob at times. He had a reserved calm about him that didn’t fit with the bruises and split lip. Her curiosity was burning her now. The four other boys were enrapt in their conversation, Alex merely watched, so she took her chance. "Where’d the bruises come from?"

"A fight — I thought Jake shared that much already," Alex looked at her as if he’d been waiting.

"You don’t seem the kind to find yourself in a fight though.” She narrowed her eyes at him. “There has to be more."

Alex smirked again. He liked her boldness. "There is a little more,” he admitted and rested his chin in his hand. “Boys are stupid," he rolled his eyes dismissively.

Leah narrowed her eyes further, dissecting his words and his wounds. Her suspicion clicked into place when she met his eyes. The smirk he wore reached his eyes, although barely — the amusement a thin veil over some deeper guilt that she recognized within herself these days too.  
His tension drained as she regarded him with understanding. "I kind of egged him on, so I can't say I’m not stupid too," Alex laughed.

Leah scoffed and turned toward the fire. "I’m sure you did nothing to deserve it. Boys like to use you and chew you up and spit you out." Her bitterness clung to every syllable.

“It definitely seems that way, but I wouldn’t have changed what happened. I’ll heal, and it’ll be a blip in the past — he won’t bother me again I don't think.” Alex watched her intently, wanting to understand her particular pain.

She shook her head minutely. “Yeah well I wish it worked out that way for everyone. I feel on the inside how you look on the outside,” she scoffed and raked her eyes over his bruises again.

He glimpsed the sadness behind the anger. “Then I hope that your heart heals as fast as my body will,” Alex said lowly.

“Not likely,” she huffed and crossed her arms.

“I’d take another beating if it meant you could,” Alex countered softly. Leah’s dark eyes flinched from the fire to his, round with shock. She had to force a lump in her throat away as Alex gazed back with a sweet small smile.

The others, finally lulled in their bantering, fixed their attention to Alex and Leah’s shared look at one another.

“What are you two talking about?” Quil glanced between them intrigued, a hint of teasing crept into his voice.

Jacob snorted at his suggestive tone. “It’s not like that, Quil.”

“We were talking about my fight,” Alex said clearly for everyone and turned to address them. Leah was thankful for the shift in attention, away from their moment.

“Finally — I didn’t want to bring it up again, but I’ve been dying to know,” Embry chimed in.

Alex grinned and launched into the details, electing to leave out the parts about Brandon flirting and their secret meet up that one time. “Anyway, basically I snapped when he had the audacity to be offended when I told him to fuck off. And then I made it worse by saying ‘or maybe fuck you’ because it was clear that was what he’d been wanting me to do all week. And then he and his friends held me down and beat me up, but not before I broke his nose."

Paul laughed and cheered with abandon while Embry stared in awe, eyes bright with glee, and Quil’s eyebrows nearly touched his hairline — mouth agape, a tittering laugh broke through. Leah actually pressed her lips together to suppress her smirk, but it wasn’t until Alex caught Jacob’s eyes that he was taken aback by the proud smile lighting up his face. 

“I guess Leah’s not the only one who’s had trouble with boys being shitty,” Alex said with finality.

His phrasing captured Embry’s attention, and he processed Alex’s words. Jacob’s earlier comment to Quil registered with him. ‘It’s not like that’. The comments clicked into place for Embry then, his mouth making a silent 'oh'.

"So uhh... looks like Leah and Alex seem to be getting along — they have a few things in common." Quil squinted at the others, trying to make them catch his drift.

Jacob rolled his eyes and Alex snorted, the two of them shared a humored look. 

Leah gaped at Quil, brows furrowing deep his exasperation. “Yeah, one more thing in common than you’ve realized,” she said acidly. Quil frowned and Leah rolled her eyes at his thickness. “Oh my god,” she muttered under her breath. Alex laughed breezily and it made Jacob's smile widen as he watched him be relaxed about this — to finally see him at some sort of peace.

Quil looked pleadingly to Embry who failed to hold back a giggle. “I can see them being really great friends,” Embry said with a pointed look.

He looked to Alex and noticed the blush coloring his cheeks. “Oh,” Quil laughed, "I feel so stupid now — sorry, Alex."

Paul mused over Quil’s suggestion still. “I think it’s a little early for Leah — I mean, don’t get me wrong Lee, I’m all for you moving on, but you should have time to yourself, you know.”

The group broke down. Leah laid her forehead in her hand and groaned, Alex let his head fall back as he laughed and leaned his shoulder against Jacob’s as he fought to stay upright. Jake pressed back, his laugh hoarse and deep.

“What is wrong with you guys?” Paul demanded, his sharp words reflected his flared temper.

Jacob glanced at Alex and after receiving a reassuring look back said, “Alex is gay, Paul!”

“Oh shit! — I mean — that’s totally cool with me, I have no problem with you liking guys,” he stumbled over his words, a little embarrassed at his own moment of density. “But if anyone tries to fuck with you again let me know, alright,” he said, voice suddenly more gruff than before.

“Yeah me too, I’d back you up any day,” Quil joined in. Embry nodded along.

“I promise,” Alex smirked back, touched by the groups immediate loyalty.

“Is this what you were going to spill?” Quil teased.

Alex scoffed, “I don’t think I could manage more drama that needed spilling if I tried.”

“How much does Charlie know about what happened?” Jacob asked hesitantly. “You’re much more open about this than I thought you’d be, but last I knew, Charlie was still in the dark.”

Alex’s eyes dropped and roamed the ground. “I, uh, I told him I was bullied for being the new kid. I’m not really sure when I plan on telling him the rest,” he stammered and heat rose to his cheeks. “With what happened and all I’m pretty much already out to everyone at school but I’m not really comfortable being too open about it, unless it’s with people I feel I can really trust,” Alex looked around at the group.

Jake tilted his head, eyes lost in thought. “Are you saying you don’t trust Charlie…? Don’t get me wrong, that’s totally your call, but I think you should give him the benefit of the doubt; he’s a good guy.” He fixed his dark eyes on Alex who huffed a bashful laugh.

“I trust Charlie, I’m just not prepared for how awkward that conversation is going to be.” Alex could feel his body trying to cringe at the simple suggestion of that discussion. “Speaking of my old man, I have to get going or Charlie’s going to send the patrol squad out for me,” Alex sighed, noticing the inky sky and stars appearing one by one between thin smokey clouds. He slipped on his shoes and began saying his goodbyes. 

When he turned toward Leah she lightly punched his shoulder and made a point of catching his eyes. “Don’t be a stranger, okay?”

Alex smiled. “Yes, ma’am.” Leah almost smirked back.

“I’ll walk you to the truck,” Jacob mentioned in a quiet voice. “I’ll be back,” he told the others as the two boys headed off towards the parking lot. They walked with their shoulders brushing and hands in coat pockets. “I’ll see you again soon, right?” Jacob turned his head to better look at Alex.

“Of course you will, I’m not my sister you know,” he joked, but his dark eyes were serious. “I plan on being around so much you’re going to get sick of me.”

“Not possible, Alessio,” Jacob breathed. He focused on watching their feet as they reached the car.

Alex stopped by the driver’s side door and faced Jacob. His gaze was still trained on the ground when the toe of Alex’s boot tapped his own and caused him to look up. Alex’s smile was barely there but utterly genuine. They both reached to hug the other at the same time, Alex squeezing Jacob’s slighter frame with fervor. “Also, have you grown? Because I swear the last time we hugged I was definitely taller than you," his laugh broke the quiet tension.

Jake giggled into Alex’s shoulder. “'Six foot.” He grinned and pulled away, eyeing the top of Alex’s head, gauging his own height.

“Me too.” Alex narrowed his eyes suspiciously at Jacob’s obvious amusement. He paused when climbing into the truck, balancing himself with one arm resting on the open drivers door and the other on top of the truck roof with one foot in the cabin — making him a head taller than Jacob when he stood straight up. Alex grinned as he looked down at him. Jacob snickered and forced back his smile to maintain a faux annoyed eye roll. He pushed a hand against Alex’s torso, careful not to be too rough, and shoved him back into the driver’s seat, shaking his head. Alex shut the door with the grin still plastered to his face and the truck started with a roar. 

Jacob walked back to the beach feeling a bubble of warmth blooming in his chest; Alex drove home singing along to the radio.

—

“You seem to be in a rather chipper mood,” Charlie mused when Alex bounced in through the front door. “I’m guessing you had a good time?”

“I think I might’ve made a few new friends,” Alex said thoughtfully as he slipped his sand dusted shoes off at the door.

Charlie nodded, attention returning to the baseball game playing in front of him. “Good, you could use some good friends around here.”

Oh if only he knew, Alex thought to himself and made his way into the kitchen to seek out a late dinner. He was finished with his meal, rinsing off his plate, when the front door whooshed open and Bella whisked through.

Alex listened to her talk, or stutter more like it, to Charlie. His curiosity prickled — Bella was a horrible liar and he could read her easily — she was hiding something. Charlie may not have noticed but Alex definitely did and he wasn’t going to let her lock herself in her room for the night until he was in on it.

The phone rang and broke Alex out of his drifting thoughts. Bella rounded the corner and answered the phone. Alex watched her intently as she spoke, her voice breathy and shaky. It was Jessica on the other end, Bella said something about having left her jacket in her car and could she bring it tomorrow. A long pause. Bella fidgeted. “I’ll tell you tomorrow in trig,” she said and hung up after a hasty goodbye. Alex bounded upstairs as soon as the phone hit the cradle — anticipating what Bella could possibly be hiding.

“What happened,” Alex demanded in a hushed voice when she reached the top of the stairs.

Bella jumped and stared at him with wide glassy eyes. “What do you mean?” She barely moved her lips when she spoke.

Alex rolled his eyes, not believing her charade. “Don’t play dumb, it’s insulting to both of us,” he said.

She swallowed thickly and made to move past him but Alex shifted to block her path, a sober tension settling over them in the dim hallway. “Bella, seriously, what’s going on? You look like you’ve seen a ghost or something — and since when do you hide things from me? ”

“I’ll… tell you after I shower — I need to collect myself first, okay?” she stammered and shrunk into herself.

Worry flooded through Alex and he moved to let her pass to her room, retreating into his own while he waited for her to be ready to talk. Alex busied himself with homework, then doodling in the margins of the paper, then skipping through songs but listening to none — nothing worked to occupy his spiraling mind. Only an hour had passed by the time Bella knocked on his door, but it felt like all night. She motioned for him to follow her back to her room.

Once she shut her door with a quiet click, she moved to sit on her bed, facing Alex who sat at the end. “I was almost mugged, or maybe something worse,” she said lowly. Before the shock of her words wore off and he could launch into questioning Bella continued. She told Alex about wanting to find a bookstore, about getting lost, about the men who had followed her. Her voice grew quieter as she told him about Edward swerving in to save her. Alex stared wide eyed as he listened to her tell him about her dinner with him — Bella gave vague answers riddled with holes when he asked what they talked about. They both knew something was off with the Cullen’s and that’s what the topic was, but she avoided getting into detail, eyes shifting uncomfortably and fingers fidgeting with her comforter. Alex wanted to press for answers but knew when she set her mind to something she was scarce to change it — in this case she was determined to keep their dinner conversation to herself and any revelations about Edward. When he asked if they should be wary of the Cullen’s she shook her head vehemently. “No.”

“You know you can tell me if you want to, Bells,” Alex said to her when her story came to an end, “I keep your secrets like they’re my own.”

“I know,” she choked out. Bella pulled him into a short but fierce hug and moved to crawl into bed, signaling she was done talking about it for the night. Alex nodded and shut her door behind him, tiptoeing to his room with the heavy atmosphere following him like a fog.

That night Alex dreamed of First Beach. The sky, the sea, the sand, all faded grey and dim as thick low clouds blocked every remnant of the sun. The tide crashed unmercifully and quickly. He stood barefoot in the damp sand. He looked down at his feet, half buried in the dark sand when the silvery water rushed in and lapped at his heels. He looked back up at the ocean and shivered. He was far up the beach, the tide shouldn’t reach him here, but as he watched the silvery foam rushed forward again it flooded around his ankles this time. 

A shout echoed out and Alex looked to the black stony shore to see figures in the distance. One waved at him, beckoning him closer, but he couldn’t move, the tide was swallowing around his knees now and he could feel it pulling at his legs as it retreated, trying to drag him back to the sea with itself. 

More voices pierced through the watery sounds of the waves. They were joyful shouts and yelps of laughter. The figures up the shore were pushing each other and messing around. One stared back at him, he thought they might be smiling but the wind whipped long dark hair and obscured their face. Alex recognized the blinding bright toothy smile in the brief glimpse. It was a smile that made his stomach flip and he pushed against the ice cold water that lapped at his hips and dug his heels into the sand to try to reach it. The tide fought back and pulled him toward the ocean like hands gripping his legs, trying to pull his feet out from under him. The one still figure beckoned him over again but a new cry pierced through the fog, shrill and high and making the hairs all over his body stand on end.

“Bella?” he called out. No one answered. He searched the figures ahead of him but couldn’t find her among them. Another scream made his ears ring and his stomach drop. The figures grew smaller, receding into the grey, the lone figure waited for him. Alex pushed against the pulling waves at his chest with every muscle in his body but they water was heavy, relentless. The waiting figure turned and Alex yelled out to him, crying for him to wait, but the cold tide flooded his mouth. The figure disappeared like the rest, looking back one final time, dark hair billowing behind him. 

The waves surged forward and swallowed him whole.


	3. Wake Up

Alex awoke to a dark room. The dream resurfaced as he pushed his curtain aside to reveal steel grey clouds blocking all sun from the sky and thick smokey white fog hanging along the ground. But this dark grey scene didn’t put him on edge like the one in his dream had. The mist outside his window was calm and still, peaceful almost, and a return to the expected.

It was comforting.

The last few days filled with sun were a nice surprise, but the usual misty weather he'd grown accustomed to had begun to feel like home. It settled him to see the cool clouds again; the sunshine in this place was overwhelming — a reminder of an old home, but not the home he was making here in Forks.

Charlie’s cruiser was absent from the driveway, he noticed, when he surveyed out the window — meaning there wasn’t enough time to go back to bed, even if he thought he could fall back asleep.

When he moved around his room to get ready for school, Alex’s muscles ached delightfully from straining himself yesterday, kicking around a ball with the others for too long with too bruised of a body. A smile pulled at his lips at the sun-soaked memory.

The chill outside had seeped into the house overnight and made Alex shiver while he dug through his closet for something warm. He pulled on a dark greyish-violet patterned sweater, thick and a little too big. It hung off of his body like a blanket wrapping around him. He was pretty sure it used to belong to Renee in the 90’s when she was going through a grunge phase and somehow it had made its way into his closet over the years.

Alex met Bella in the kitchen, neither willing to break the morning silence, though Bella seemed on edge still. She ate a little too quickly and her eyes never quite seemed to focus. Her uneasiness aggravated Alex’s lingering anxiety from the dream, leaving him jittery and tense. 

When the twins made their way out the door they both froze; Alex’s stomach dropped while Bella’s heart raced. Edward leaned against his shiny silver Volvo at the end of their driveway. 

“I’ll… meet you at school, Alex,” Bella said in a strange voice. A weight dropped into Alex’s hand and she drifted toward Edward like a cloud caught in a strong wind. The mirror-like car door closed and Bella was gone from sight. Edward nodded politely to Alex, who stared back with almost rude abandon.

It wasn’t until a flash of silver streaked down the road that Alex looked down and realized Bella had placed the truck keys in his palm. He took his time settling into the truck, trying to get a grip on his racing mind and heart.

There was nothing explicitly wrong or even weird about what had just happened, but it left a vaguely anxious curl in Alex’s stomach.

What wasn’t she telling him? Alex pushed the cluttered, frustrated thought away — she would tell him eventually. Maybe she didn’t have all the answers herself yet and she didn’t want to give confusing answers to him… The twist in Alex’s gut made it impossible for him to convince himself that was the case. Bella appeared as surprised as him to see Edward waiting outside to take her to school, but Alex could see that something had changed between her and Edward. Something that made Bella set her guards up and lie through her teeth. 

Alex had no more time for his mind to spiral as he pulled into the school parking lot. While he walked to class, he kept a close eye out for his sister, an overwhelming flutter in the pit of his stomach made him a little dizzy. 

He spotted Bella by the cafeteria building, shielded from the misty rain under the overhanging roof. Edward stood by her side still and she was speaking to Jessica who stared between the two with saucer sized eyes, before she spun on her heel and took off toward her building. Bella and Edward walked slowly onward, to Bella’s first class, Alex figured based on their direction. They were engrossed in each other and their private conversation, like they were in their own little bubble. Bella would not be pulled away easily to give any answers so Alex sighed and took off toward his first class as well. He’d wait until lunch to try to catch her before she sat with Edward, and he ignored the twinge of animosity he felt at being left behind in the dust.

Edward had beat Alex. He was already walking with Bella to lunch when Alex neared the building. It should have been impossible for the Cullen to reach her before Alex — his building was farther away — and it grated on Alex’s nerves more than it should have.

At his usual table Jessica gushed animatedly to the few who’d already sat down. Angela waved him over and looked at him expectantly.

“So… tell us what’s going on with Bella and Edward — Jessica’s saying they’re a couple now?” Angela searched his face for an answer but Alex gaped back, as astonished as she was. 

“I hardly know anything, Angela, Bella hasn’t told me much,” Alex said. Angela was the only one who caught the underlying tension that ran through his baffled tone. 

Alex picked at his food while Jessica shared what she had learned from Bella in Trig and Spanish. “She’s, like, head over heels about him she said, but she’s not sure if he’s that in to her back — I mean how could he be, everyone is out of the Cullen’s leagues to be fair.” She babbled on in this way for the entirety of the lunch period. Bit by bit, her words and more so her knowledge eroded Alex’s thin walls of denial. How could he convince himself Bella was waiting to tell him anything when she’d let Jessica coerce more out of her than she’d given him in weeks. Did she think he wouldn’t understand? That couldn’t be it, there had never been anything one twin had done that the other wouldn’t understand and accept, so what could possibly be different this time. 

Alex did his best to lean forward like he was engaged with the table, not wanting his sulking to be obvious. He hated that he was as confused as everyone else, unable to answer the questions they kept throwing at him — how long has Bella liked Edward, how long has Edward liked Bella, when did it get serious — but more than the questions, he hated when people could read him like a book, preferring to suffer in silence, and he did just that.

When Alex worked up the nerve to glance over at Bella and Edward’s table, Edward was looking back. Not at him, though, Alex realized. He followed Edward’s line of sight and saw he had been looking at Jessica. Not surprising considering the rumors about them she was bound to start creating sooner or later.

“Jessica is analyzing everything,” Edward said irritably to Bella. He could hear both her thoughts and her voice from their isolated table across the lunch room. He looked over to her, gossiping to the rest of Bella’s old table. Through Jess’s calculating thoughts, another mind caught his attention — only a whisper amongst the other minds in the room. It was Alex’s.

Bella peeked at her old table guiltily. She made momentary eye contact with Alex before he ripped his eyes away and threw himself in conversation with Angela. When she turned back to Edward his brow furrowed the slightest bit in concentration. 

“You can’t read my thoughts, but what about Alex’s, or Charlie’s?” Bella asked, cutting him out of his focus.

“Charlie’s mind is… stifled, like I’m listening through a door or underwater. But Alex…” he murmured, leaning forward toward Bella as he spoke, “his changes. At first, I couldn’t hear anything, like with you, but when I focus on trying to hear his thoughts specifically I'm able to pick up… static, I’ll call it. Nothing coherent — and muffled, like Charlie, but more so.”

Engrossed in him and his every word, Bella waited in suspense for him to go on.

Edward looked thoughtful for a moment before continuing. “Recently, however, there has been less static — and it’s a little less muted, but still more than Charlie’s. It seems to vary too, even within a single day. For instance, the morning of the car accident I strained to hear his thoughts when he walked past me, but they were too quiet to make out clearly, though I could still sense his mind. However, in the hospital afterwards I couldn’t hear anything. It was completely quiet like yours. I haven’t figured out why it shifts like that yet.” 

“What about right now?” Bella leaned forward with intent wide eyes.

Edward met her stare with equal interest. “It’s like a whisper, too stifled to make out clearly, but it’s more distinct than it was this morning when I picked you up.” He watched her watch him. Her dark warm eyes roamed over his features, lit up with inquisitive intrigue.

“Is that going to become a habit, picking me up from school?” she asked with an undecipherable expression.

Oh how he ached to hear her mind. “Would you like it to be?” he asked in return.

Across the cafeteria Alex risked another glance at their table and fought back an eye roll. Their captivation with one another should have made him happy for his sister, but instead it only gnawed at him. Jessica’s words echoed around in his head tauntingly. If Bella wanted to keep things from him why couldn’t she just say so instead of blathering on to somebody else — Jessica of all people — who couldn’t keep her mouth shut if her life depended on it. Alex determined himself to find out.

The next class period Bella shared with Edward, making it pointless to try to interrupt them when the bell rang to dismiss lunch. Alex would wait until she was on her way to gym, if Edward didn’t try to walk her to that class too.

“Hey, Mike?” Alex called out as they rose from their table. Mike halted and looked to Alex. “I have a favor to ask.”

“Yeah, what’s up,” he said as they lagged behind the other students heading to class. Alex threw a look towards Bella and Edward still sitting at their table. Mike followed his line of sight, mischief glistening in his eyes, and waited for Alex to give his proposition.

“Do you think you could interrupt Bella and Edward after Biology, until I catch up with you guys on your way to gym? I need to talk to her but you know her — she won’t tear away from Edward for just anybody.” Alex could see the gears turning in Mike’s head as they walked. He felt a little guilty for taking advantage of him, but at the same time he knew Mike would take pleasure in getting between Bella and her new found boyfriend.

Mike pursed his lips and nodded. “I’ll do my best.” He grinned and took off toward Biology.

Angela cleared her throat loudly, startling Alex when she materialized by his side. “It’s really getting to you that she’s keeping secrets from you, isn’t it?” she asked knowingly.

“About something as big as this?” Alex sighed. “Yeah, it bothers me.” 

They stepped out of the mist and into their building, walking slowly under the bright fluorescent hallway lights. 

“Why would she be keeping anything from you, though? I mean she likes Edward, we can all tell that, so what is else there to be hiding?” Angela pondered out loud. They stopped in front of Alex’s classroom.

“I really don’t know, Ange, that’s what’s driving me crazy,” he sighed again, overcome. Alex waved a defeated goodbye as the bell rang and he dipped into the classroom.

The entire hour dragged on more painfully than usual. When Mr. Varner finally dismissed them, Alex raced out to the Biology building to catch Bella in time before she could inevitably escape his presence and replace him with Edward’s.

Mike’s spiked hair was easy to spot first — next to him walked Bella, barely replying to Mike’s rapid chatter. She repeatedly looked over to Edward who stood several paces behind them, darkly staring down the back of Mike’s spiky haired head. Alex slipped past students like liquid and caught up to Bella’s other side.

“Hey, Mike, mind if I steal her for a second?” he asked briskly.

Mike nodded, taking his queue with a pleased grin. “Yeah, of course, I’ll see you in gym, Bella,” he said with a wink and jogged off.

Bella groaned and sagged with relief when Mike disappeared into the crowd of students. “Thanks for saving me,” she said monotone, “but why are you here, don’t you have English next?” 

“I do,” Alex answered shortly, immediately changing the topic. Not bothering with beating around the bush, he continued, “Jessica is going around saying you and Edward are a couple…?”

Bella shuffled her feet and shifted her weight as they walked. “I guess we are,” she said sheepishly.

Irritation zapped through Alex. “Since when?” he exasperated. “And when were you planning on telling me?”

“We talked about it this morning in the car,” she defended. “Our ‘status’ changed this morning. Are you mad at me or something?” she asked plainly, obliviously.

“I mean yeah, kind of — you never even really told me you liked him, only that he intrigued you, and then you don’t bother to say anything to me, let alone tell me first. You told Jessica before me? Really?” he scoffed, anger deflating into a hesitant hurt. He hadn’t meant to be argumentative.

Bella shrugged like it was a bother to answer. “She just got to me first, you know how Jess is,” she dismissed tiredly. She glanced back at Edward again and Alex saw red.

“Sure,” he said and stalked off to his own class, not wanting to be late because of his sister’s crush that made her act so stupidly. He swallowed down his frustration so it wasn’t as visible when he passed Edward, who readily reclaimed his place at Bella’s side. 

Alex rolled his eyes at the empty passenger seat on his way home, frustrated more than upset now. Bella’s dismissive, vague answers worried Alex and eroded his patience delicately thin with concern.

When he pulled out his house key he realized Bella had beat him home. The door was unlocked and her shoes and jacket by the door. Alex turned around to search the road outside and raked his memory. He hadn’t even seen Edward’s car.

Jessica’s voice echoed in his head: “She said he drives like a total maniac…”

Alex trudged up the stairs and hesitated outside of Bella’s ajar door. He rapped faintly with his knuckle and debated turning back before he heard her say to come in.

She sat in front of the only computer in the house, presumably emailing Renee. He didn’t have anything planned to say, but he wanted to resolve this tension between them.

Bella spoke up first. “I’m sorry for telling Jess about my feelings for Edward before telling you. I should have said something about it last night but I didn’t know how.” She folded her arms loosely in front of herself, legs pulled up into her desk chair.

A twinge of guilt flickered in Alex’s chest. He sighed. “Apology accepted, I guess.”

“You ‘guess’,” Bella scoffed, and Alex couldn’t help but smirk. “If it makes you feel any better,” she said, “there’s still some things I didn’t tell Jessica.”

Alex’s stomach twisted anxiously again, not knowing what to expect. “Oh no, what is it?”

Bella tittered lightly at his dramatics. “I might not be going to Seattle… Edward is going to take me somewhere else, I don’t know where yet, it’s a surprise he said.”

“Okay,” Alex drawled, “in that case I want the truck Saturday.”

“Alright,” she agreed as slowly. It wouldn’t take much convincing to make Edward take his car.

Alex studied her and lingered at the doorway for a moment. “You must really like him, huh?”

She pressed her lips together and nodded. “I think I love him,” she whispered.

Alex stared blankly, not sure what to do with that information. Bella was not one to let others in so quickly, so completely. He nodded in response and walked quietly to his room, shutting the door behind him. He sat at his own desk and shuffled around his things, mind wandering too far to focus on anything in front of him, and tried to understand how things had changed overnight. 

Alex fidgeted with a cassette that laid on his desk and thought of Jacob. He considered Jacob his best friend already, and he wasn’t one to make deep connections with haste either. Maybe it was the same for Bella — just in a romantic way.

A smile crept across his face when he looked at the blank cassette in his hands. A particular, familiar guitar riff echoed through his mind, and inspiration struck him. 

He set to work. The frustration and concern over Bella’s sudden love life melted away as Alex immersed himself in music, digging through his library for the right songs. The sky dimmed and eventually Alex hit a block after the fourth song, unsure of where to take the mood of the mixtape. He listened over the half completed tape until he drifted to sleep with soft satisfaction clinging to him.

The annoyance returned as soon as Alex set eyes on Edward’s Volvo waiting outside the next morning. It gnawed away at him all day. Every time he spotted Bella between classes and, of course at lunch, Edward was with her. It irked him to no end. He couldn’t even tease her passive aggressively about it because she was never around, absorbed in her own little world with only Edward for company.

Alex didn’t know how, but he managed to get home before Bella. Probably due to his aggravated speeding, he thought. He’d barely shed his damp outer layers and set his bag down when a shining car appeared at the end of the driveway. He couldn’t see past the dark tinted windows but he knew who was in the car. No one got out. They were taking their time saying their goodbyes, Alex figured — until he peeked out the window ten minutes later, curiosity itching away at him. They were still sitting there. He rolled his eyes and bounded upstairs, eager to forget about them and to get through the inspiration block that stopped him from finishing Jacob’s mixtape. 

An hour passed before he got up to grab a drink from the kitchen. Alex threw a lazy glance out the kitchen window, having almost forgotten why he'd been on edge, then he saw the car, still there.

The grip on his glass tightened. This was becoming too much, he thought. He needed to distract himself, or find some new perspective — something, anything. He was tired of the constant irritation haunting him the past few days.

He reached for the phone on the wall and dialed a number he’d memorized within his first two weeks of being in Forks. Jacob picked up on the third ring, and his smooth jocund voice blew away the tension that had been building inside of Alex.

“Hey, I was beginning to wonder when I’d hear from you again,” Jake said breezily into the phone. 

Alex chewed his bottom lip. “It’s been two days, and you’re missing me already?” he teased. He ignored the blossom of warmth in his chest as he dragged a chair from the kitchen table over the sit beneath the phone.

Jacob rolled his eyes but smiled still. He hesitated on his words, not wanting them to come off the wrong way. “Yeah but we didn’t make plans to hang out again before you left Tuesday,” he forced out, cringing at himself. “I didn’t know when I’d see you again.”

“You know you can call whenever, you don’t have to wait for me to call first,” Alex said and drew his legs up on the chair, tucking one beneath him.

“I know.” Jacob praised the fact he was on the phone and Alex couldn’t see the heat that flooded his face. “So is that what this call is about, making plans to hang out again?” he asked, to change the topic.

“Not exactly, but I am free this weekend and looking to avoid the school dance,” he laughed and fingered the phone cord spiraled over his shoulder. “I called to talk, or vent I guess is a better way of putting it.”

“I’m all ears.” Jake smiled into the phone, before a sudden thought made it fall from his face. “Those assholes aren’t bothering you again, are they?”

Alex’s musical laughter, full and light, filled his ear and set his pricked nerves at ease. “No, they haven’t even crossed my path. It’s actually about Bella…” he trailed off. The wrench in Alex’s gut stirred again as he thought about them. “She’s… I don’t know where to begin — she’s being secretive, which is normal with other people, but she’s never hidden things from me, not like she is now,” he said and picked at a loose thread in a tear in his jeans.

Jacob caught the concern that flooded Alex’s voice. Even when he had talked about the gang of boys picking on him he’d never sounded so distressed. “Is she still fixated on the Cullen guy?”

Alex cackled acidly. “Yes, and it’s so much worse than before. They’re a couple now, by the way — found out myself yesterday after she told the school gossip before me, her own twin.”

Jacob bit his lip to hold in his amusement of Alex’s flustered rambling. He knew the frustration was serious, but he’d never witnessed him so unsettled and it was out of place, the usual calm and airy demeanor Alex carried nowhere to be seen. 

Alex huffed and continued as if he hadn’t heard Jacob’s snickering. “They almost never leave each other’s sides — it’s actually ridiculous. I’ve spoken maybe a total of ten words to her in the past few days because she’s been glued to Edward since Tuesday night. He picks her up from school and takes her home, and they’re still together, now,” he rushed out.

Jacob laughed freely this time. It soothed the whirlwind inside of Alex when he heard it. “Wait what do you mean they’re still together now, where are they?” he asked exasperated. He saw Billy enter the room from the corner of his eye and he turned minutely away, rechecking the volume of his voice.

“She’s still in his car right now, they’ve been parked outside by the driveway since leaving school.” Alex leaned up from his chair and peered out the window, sure enough the Volvo sat unmoved. The mist had turned into rain and the light outside was darkening with thick clouds. Alex rolled his eyes and plopped back into his chair. Jacob spoke to someone away from the phone, presumably Billy, and he waited for them to finish their conversation.

Despite glancing at the silver car again, Alex didn’t feel the usual spasm of annoyance. His plan to distract himself was working better than he’d expected, except it didn’t really feel like a distraction at all. Talking to Jacob always felt natural, even now as he poured out all his pent up frustration to him.

“Hey, uh… Alex?” Jacob’s nervous voice broke him from his thoughts. “Would it be alright if my dad and I came over, he says he’s been wanting to visit.” Heat flooded Jacob’s face again as he asked, half over the embarrassment his father was causing him and half over the potential of hanging out with Alex unexpectedly tonight.

Alex’s stomach flipped with anticipation. “Yeah of course, you guys are always welcome over here,” he said and glanced back out the window. “Charlie’s not home yet but he should be soon.”

A beaming smile broke over Jacob’s face. “Alright, we’ll be on our way then… see you soon, Alex,” he said and hung up after Alex whispered a giddy goodbye.

The rain turned into a downpour by the time Jacob and Billy pulled up to the house. Alex stepped out to wait for them under the cover of the porch roof when Bella finally emerged from Edward’s car. The Volvo slipped away hastily in a flash of silver before he even realized it had begun to move.

Bella approached the driver’s side of the Black’s little dark car and the window rolled down. Alex strained his ears to hear over the rain, barely making out Jacob’s husky voice reply to Bella, when Charlie’s cruiser pulled into the driveway.

After they were all in the house, removing wet coats and shoes, Alex studied the guilty, guarded mask over his sister’s face. He bit the inside of his cheek in an attempt to suppress the flare of angry curiosity again. He focused on Billy and Charlie’s conversation of pleasantries instead.

"—And of course Jacob was anxious to see Alex again," Billy explained as he and Charlie made their way to the living room to turn on a game. Beside Alex, Jacob blushed bright pink and let his hair obscure his face as he hung his head.

Once they made their way to the kitchen, Jacob leaned against the table and watched Bella and Alex prepare dinner. With her in front of him now, Jake could see what Alex had been talking about. Bella was tense and everything about her posture and expression looked as though she'd been caught red handed.

“How are things going?” Jacob broke the silence. He caught Alex’s eye as he asked and Alex faced away from them to hide his smirk. He’d directed the question toward Bella, and she turned around with wide nervous eyes.

“Pretty good,” she answered and busied herself around the kitchen. 

Alex listened absentmindedly as the two made small talk, until Jacob suddenly asked, “Is something wrong with the truck?”

He had to bite his lip to hold in a laugh as he met Jacob’s mischievous eyes again. Bella shook her head no and fidgeted with the dish towel in her hand.

“I ask because you weren’t driving it…” Jacob pried further. “Who was that you were getting a ride from?” Alex’s cheeks ached from suppressing his grin.

“Edward Cullen,” she answered tersely, quietly.

“I guess that explains why my dad was acting so weird,” Jacob dismissed. He was done with teasing her now that Alex looked a little more like his usual light self.

“There’s nothing wrong with the truck,” Alex cut in easily, speaking mostly to Jacob, “but I’ve been thinking about buying a new radio for it, one with a cassette player, of course.”

Jacob pursed his lips in thought. “Don’t buy anything yet,” he said cryptically. “I might be able to find something that can work.”

Alex’s blinding smile determined him.

They fell into silence as they finished cooking and setting the table. Charlie entered the kitchen and announced that Billy was ready to part ways, and a look of dismay settled over Jacob’s face.

“You take care, now, Bella,” Billy said to her at the door while Jacob shrugged on his jacket. Billy turned to Alex and with a heavy look in his eyes told him, “You look out for each other, alright?”

“I try,” Alex murmured after Bella retreated into the kitchen. Billy wheeled himself out onto the porch and Jacob turned to him.

“Try letting it go instead, Alessio,” Jacob whispered. “I’ll see you this weekend, okay?” he said and let the door swing closed behind him.

—

Friday morning, upon waking up in a lighter mood due to finishing Jacob’s playlist late into the night — Alex decided to change his tactic, choosing to subdue his nagging curiosity by ignoring Bella the way she unintentionally ignored him. It worked too. The pettiness took the edge off and although it was childish, he didn’t care. It was nice to let himself not care sometimes, he discovered — it was exhausting to be involved in another person's life as much as his own. Jacob was right in that he needed to let go a little. He was allowed to be selfish too.

At lunch he talked to Angela instead of sulking in silence as he had the previous few days. Like everyone else at their table, because of Jessica’s gossiping, Angela was under the impression that Edward was still taking Bella to Seattle tomorrow, without Alex. Despite his freedom from obligation, Angela declared Alex off the hook for not going to the dance with her.

“Ben and I are going — as friends, though,” she explained to him as she rested her arms across her stack of books sitting on the table. Angela had asked Ben to go with her the day after the girls’ trip to Port Angeles. Alex looked down the table to where Ben sat ogling at Angela.

Alex turned back to Angela and rested his cheek against his hand. “I’m not sure if Ben thinks that too,” he said with a furrowed brow. Angela mumbled unintelligibly and opened one of her books, ignoring Ben’s grabs for attention. Alex glanced over the cover of her book and almost laughed at the irony of her reading it at this particular moment. “Sappho…” Alex said gleefully, “interesting choice… have you always been a fan?”

Angela snapped her head up and flushed, stumbling through her answer. “I can appreciate all types… of literature.” 

Holding in a devious giggle, Alex shook his head at her.

His tactic to ignore his sister and the boy of her obsession faltered when Bella approached the truck after school as Alex unlocked the driver’s door. She murmured something about Edward having left school early and obviously he wouldn’t be giving her a ride home.

They rode silently, not even the radio playing its usual staticky old music. Alex fumed in silence as he drove and Bella stared out the passenger window, both avoiding him and oblivious to his frustration. He wanted to break the tension — tell her she couldn’t forget him then pick him back up whenever her beloved Edward wasn’t around. But he stayed quiet.

At dinner Alex ground his teeth while Bella lied to Charlie, telling him they’d be staying home instead of going to Seattle, that she needed to study and do laundry and maybe run to the store. When Charlie looked over to Alex for his input Alex replied he’d made plans to see Jake. He wasn’t lying per se, Jake had said he’d see him this weekend, they just never agreed when yet. Alex decided in that moment it would be tomorrow. Jacob was the only person he wanted to be around, he thought as they rinsed off their plates. 

Without another word Alex bounded up the steps to lock himself in his room for the night. He sprawled across his bed on his back and slipped earbuds in. Jacob’s playlist was still in his cassette player, it hadn’t been taken out since being finished. He let his eyelids slide shut and the music picked up where he left off, the rough guitar chords vibrated in his chest and the soaring strings elevated his mood with their crescendo. 

Jacob’s presence had a way of soothing his soul and electrifying him all at the same time, and the music brought back an echo of that feeling. With all the evasion and tension and anxiety that blanketed his recent days, his time spent with Jake was the only reprieve, like coming up to the surface for air after his lungs began to burn from holding his breath underwater for too long.

He replayed the tape again, drifting into sleep with a satisfied smile and thoughts of Jacob’s reaction on his mind.

—

Silence had enveloped the house when Alex woke up, earbuds fallen out sometime in the night when he shifted in his sleep. Pale white morning light made his room glow in the muted sunshine. Alex stumbled lazily over to his far window and was greeted with cottony thin clouds smeared across the sky. Charlie’s car was already gone — fishing again, Alex remembered him saying last night. 

Footsteps and creaking floorboards sounded from down the hall; Bella was getting ready for her day with Edward. Alex rolled his eyes at the realization and froze when he heard her footsteps draw nearer, stopping between the steps and his door. He did not want to see her right now.

After a torturously long pause, her footsteps thumped down the stairs and Alex’s body deflated. He tiptoed over to his bed again, not wanting Bella to hear him in fear that she might come back if she knew he was awake. He sat cross legged on his bed and waited until he heard the front door. Muffled low voices reached his ears — Edward was here. A few moments later the door thumped shut and he dashed to his window to see the shiny Volvo speeding away.

Alex lept downstairs to the phone. A knot twisted his stomach as he dialed, half anxiety and half excitement. He took several deep breaths to sedate his rapidly beating heart and to clear a path from his brain to his mouth so he didn’t stutter or say something stupid. He tapped his foot and glanced at the clock as the phone continued to ring, and ring. It was barely ten o'clock, he would be up by now right?

Jacob answered on the sixth ring. 

“Good morning.” His voice was deeper and rougher than usual — Alex guessed he had just woken up. “I was meaning to call you today.”

Alex’s lips fought to smile and he replied, “Would it be alright if I came over today?” His throat tightened. “I finished your mixtape.”

Jacob’s heart leapt in his chest. “Of course you can come over, you have perfect timing actually.”

“What do you mean?”

Jacob’s toothsome grin could be heard in his voice. “You’ll see when you get here.” Jake hung up and dashed to his room to get ready, his stomach flipping with every step.

Alex scoffed as the dial tone buzzed in his ear. His gape flickered into a smile when he returned the phone to its cradle and trotted upstairs to get dressed. The sun was beginning to peek through the gaps in the clouds and Alex could feel the subtle warmth in the columns of light that pierced his windows. Deciding to forgo his hoodie, he slipped on a t-shirt and a dark earthy colored flannel, in case the usual cool of Forks crept in and took over the little bit of sun.

Jacob hurried to his garage and dug around for the tools he knew he would need for the mission he’d set for himself. When the distant growl of the truck reached his ears he walked out to the driveway. As Alex pulled up, he motioned for him to keep creeping forward and follow him to the garage where he had Alex park in front of the entrance. 

Alex was quick to jump out of the truck and stand beside Jacob who leaned against the hood of the half constructed Rabbit. 

"So, what’s on today's agenda?" he grinned.

A smirk slipped into place on Jacob's face. He pushed off the car and walked around to a table with Alex following closely behind. On the old wooden table sat several equally old car radios, different makes and models from different years, all with cassette players. 

Alex looked back and forth between the radios and Jacob, eyes growing wide and excited as a bright smile overtook his face. "You’re kidding!"

"Not even a little," Jacob beamed back. "Without looking at the truck I'm not sure which of these will work but I figured we've got all day, right?"

"Right," he replied breathlessly.

Alex spent the afternoon playing mechanic's assistant as Jake leaned across the truck seat, long legs dangling out of the opened driver door. He handed him stereo after stereo, the occasional tool, holding parts and wires when Jake needed a third or fourth hand. The truck's original radio sat on a separate shelf in the garage, a memento they decided to keep for the sake of it. 

They talked throughout Jake working. Bouncing from the topic of the school dance Alex avidly avoided, to Jacob, Embry, and Quil’s recent escapades. Alex brushed off talking about Bella and Edward when Jacob asked — he didn’t want to think about that right now, not that the situation could dampen his day, but it wasn’t worth the risk. 

The clouds broke and the sun filtering down on them became a bit too warm as they stood in its rays. Jacob sat up and stripped off his dark blue hoodie and tossed it over to the passenger seat. Alex averted his eyes. 

While they talked and bantered Alex caught himself staring at Jacob’s exposed arms in his threadbare band t-shirt, and he had to tear his eyes away more than once, a flush rising to his cheeks as he prayed Jacob hadn’t noticed.

To be fair, he'd never really seen Jake without long sleeves — always in a hoodie or a jacket due to the cool, wet weather. It caught Alex off guard was all. He hadn't expected Jacob to be so muscled — he wasn't ripped or crazy buff but his arms flexed with well toned and defined muscles and Alex’s face flooded with heat the moment that observation crossed his mind. 

Jacob noticed Alex fidget on his perch on the stool beside the truck, eyes meandering around the sunny surroundings. He watched raptly from the corner of his eye when Alex stood and peeled off his overly large flannel. Jake quickly fixated back on the stereo and wires spilling out of the dashboard in front of him. The sun seemed to grow warmer, or maybe it was just him. He glanced back as Alex tied the brown and grey flannel around his waist, oblivious to Jacob's sudden hurried preoccupation with the radio in his hands.

By the time they found a stereo that fit and adapted to the truck the sun was past the middle of the sky, rays turning gold and bright. The radio set into place with a final click and Jacob turned to look at Alex who peered over his shoulder, and the smile that lifted his face took Jacob’s breath away.

Alex dashed to the passenger side and grabbed the backpack that sat in the floorboard. He rummaged around and pulled out a clear cassette tape with writing on the front.

‘For Jacob, Pt. 1’

He held it out for Jacob to take. "Want to take a test drive?"

Jacob took the cassette from him and grinned as Alex pushed his shoulder. "Switch me spots," Alex said and slid over into the driver's seat as Jacob hopped out of the truck and raced around to the passenger side.

As the truck roared to life and Alex made their way onto the road, Jacob turned the mixtape in his hands, inspecting it. There was no list of the songs or anything else written on it beside the addressment. He bit his lip as he reread ‘Pt. 1’.

The anticipation was as sweet as the present itself when Jacob slid the tape into the new radio. He looked up for the first time and realized they were on a single lane road, sloped steeply uphill and surrounded by dense trees and foliage.

"Where are we going?" He asked incredulously, unmistakable thrill in his voice.

A heavy guitar riff sounded through the cabin and Alex pressed his lips together as he smiled. "How does a drive through the mountains sound?"

Jacob turned up the volume as they cranked down the windows to let in the warm crisp air.

They rose higher and the tree line broke and peaks of green appeared in the distance. The world glowed vibrantly under the sunlight as they drove further into nature. Below the resounding guitar and whipping wind Alex hummed along with the words, his voice barely noticeable.

“All my life I’ve been searching for something,” he sang in a low sweet voice, “something I can’t put my finger on.” His lips quirked with the next line. “Maybe I’ve been living for the weekend.”

Jacob gazed between the scenery around them and Alex's sunlit silhouette. He let his head fall back against the rest and draped an arm out the window to feel the air stream through his fingers.

The winding road took them through the middle of nowhere, climbing steep hills and overlooking cliffs. They found themselves high up nearing mountains where the sun filtered down and caressed everything with its radiance. Alex caught himself staring at the way it made Jacob’s dark brown eyes brighten to an impossibly deep, enriched shade of maple, and he didn’t bother to tear his eyes away this time when Jake turned and met his gaze. Although neither of them spoke as the music filled the space between them, they shared enough through the look they traded.

The music changed in sound and a lazy, full smile graced Jacob's lips as synth resonated in his chest. He let his eyes wander over Alex's profile, taking in the way the sun caused his brown hair to shine a little red and how his lips moved gracefully with the words of the song. A soft joy filled his eyes that Jacob had only ever seen glimpses of before, and a deep satisfaction trickled through his chest and his heart to know he could evoke such a look from him, that something as simple as finding the right stereo could provide this joy.

A sinuous brass melody rose between the verses of the next song, along with smooth guitar riffs and a synthy harmony winding into the background seamlessly. It made Jacob think of the 80’s, and he grinned as he remembered Alex telling him about the obsession he’d had with the decade when he was an early teenager.

The music never lost its euphoric effect on Jacob, as Alex feared it might. But Jake’s smile never faltered — it changed from full and laughing to sweet and closed lipped to a placated, content simper.

Golden rays turned orange and fiery, lingering above the horizon and setting the sky ablaze. Jacob wondered if Alex missed sunsets like this, when the whole sky turned the world his favorite color.

"This is the last one," Alex said softly. A gentle acoustic guitar strum floated through the otherwise silent truck.

A good ending, Jacob thought as he listened. The melody was calmer, almost sad but not quite — it reminded him of lullabies and campfires.

As the song drew to a close, Alex pulled off to the side of the road and made a U-turn while Jacob reset the tape to play through a second time on their way back down.

When they reached Jacob’s house the sun dipped below land and wispy grey clouds drifted into the dusty mauve sky. They left the windows rolled down despite the cool breeze that picked up in the sun’s wake, and Alex pulled his flannel back on after he parked the truck in the driveway.

“So when is part two?” Jacob asked as he studied the cassette he turned over in his hands.

Alex huffed and rolled his eyes playfully. “What — not happy with part one?”

Jacob looked up. “I am very happy with part one,” he said evenly, “but it makes me wonder what else you’ve got in store. I mean, I had to coerce you into making this one, and you’ve got more in mind already.” He squinted through the dimming light to better see Alex’s expression, but his face was an unreadable mask.

“I got carried away,” he said dismissively, eyes roaming across the dashboard, “but I make no promises.”

It was Jacob’s turn to snicker and roll his eyes then, one hand hesitantly rested on the door handle. The sky was darkening as they spoke and they both needed to go home eventually — they’d already spent the whole day together — but Jake wasn’t ready to depart from the serene atmosphere that had grown around them during their car ride. The ambiance felt almost intimate in a way — like Alex had let him glimpse a piece of his soul through his music that served as a window, and Jacob didn’t want to see the shutters close.

Jake reached out and squeezed Alex’s hand that rested closest to him. “Call me soon, Alessio? Or I guess I don’t have to wait, I’ll call first this time,” he smirked.

“Call me first,” Alex agreed with a satisfied grin. “And let me know when you can hang out next.”

“Sure thing.” Jake let his hand go and hurriedly hopped out of the truck, mixtape in his other hand. “Get home safe, Alessio,” he said as he walked backward to his front door.

“Sure, sure,” Alex shouted back and shifted gears and backed out of the driveway. His cheeks ached and felt too warm — he glanced in the rear view mirror and saw he was blushing with a wide giddy smile still plastered to his face.

The other two Swan’s were already home by the time Alex walked through the door. Bella’s guilty face peeking at him while she cooked barely made a dent in his blissful mood. He stood by the stairs between the kitchen and the living room as he took delight in addressing only Charlie, knowing Bella could easily overhear them, and shared that Jacob was able to install a new radio in the truck so they could listen to his cassettes.

Her skittish figure moved around from the corner of his eye. She used to let him in on the things when she'd get nervous like this, when it was obvious something was going on. But despite her glances at him like there was something to spill, Bella avoided him, retreating quickly to her room once dinner was finished. It mildly annoyed him, but her secretiveness failed to puncture a hole and deflate him of his easy going attitude.

The next morning, however, Alex was rudely awakened to a far less peaceful house than the previous day. The repetitive sound of pacing footsteps and shuffling forced him out of whatever pleasant dream he had been having, the images already running from his mind as he opened his eyes. Alex pushed his face into his pillow, willing the ruckus coming from Bella’s room to cease but it only seemed to grow more frantic, or maybe it was just grating his roughly awakened senses more easily. 

Prepared to tell Bella off, he rushed out of bed — the world spinning momentarily when he stood — and flung open his door. He marched over to Bella’s door and before he could fling it open too, she beat him to it and appeared in the doorway, panic swimming in her eyes. They stared at each other for an eternity before Bella broke the awkward silence.

“I need you to help me pick out what to wear,” she said with wide pleading eyes.

Alex sucked in a harsh breath and pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes as he tried to collect himself. It’s too damn early for this, he thought. He let out his breath with a defeated sigh and growled, “Let’s get this over with so I can go back to sleep, please.”

He sat at the end of Bella’s bed while she tossed clothes around from her dresser and closet and rambled anxiously.

“It’s not a normal meeting the parents, though, it’s so much worse, I can’t even get into it but they have to like me and I just know I’m going to do or say something so stupid and embarrass myself in front of his entire family, which is like six whole people, not even including Edward himself, and I’m pretty sure one of his sister’s already hates me anyway—”

Alex rubbed his heavy eyes again as he struggled to keep up. “Have you checked your suitcase, maybe you left it in there since you rarely wear it,” he said and rested his chin in his hand. They had come to the agreement that she should dress semi-formally and wear the one skirt she owned, but then that presented a new problem — Bella couldn’t find the damn thing.

“Yes, I’ve checked there already,” she hissed and Alex raised his hands in surrender. She continued on her hushed rant without missing a beat. “And I don’t want him to hear me because he’ll try to call it off or say we can do it another day but then his family might think I’m being rude or I’m a coward and I don’t know which one is worse at this point — found it!” She wrenched the khaki shirt from the back of her closet and raised it into the air with her fist clenched around the fabric like she was trying to strangle it as punishment. “Now, blue or white blouse?”

“Blue — didn’t you say he complimented you on it once?”

“Yes.”

“Then yes, definitely blue.”

Bella bit her lip and regarded her tired looking twin as she let herself breath for the first time that morning. The twinge of guilt in her gut reappeared again and she wished there was a way to tell him all of it — all of the secrets, all of the wonderful, magical things hiding right under their noses. He would love the world she so characteristically clumsily stumbled upon, just as she loved it too. But it wasn’t her world or her secrets to share, and it wasn’t fair to endanger his life by letting him in on it all — even though he’d say it was worth it, Bella thought. There were many things the twins had in common, and their desire for something fantastical was one of them. Bella’s heart clenched guiltily.

“I’ll get going and let you change. Try not to make too much noise again, I’d like to fall back asleep.” He smiled tightly, but genuine care misted his eyes. Alex forced himself to stand and make his way out. “Good luck, Bells,” he said and shut her door quietly behind him.

The comforting, routine clouds were back in the sky when Alex opened his eyes for good a few hours later. Alex pulled back his curtains and let the subtle glow of light that emanated from the foggy sky filter into his room. Bella had left with the truck and Charlie was still out for the day, leaving Alex to enjoy the quiet house to himself for the first time in a long time. Music whispered in the background while Alex sat cross legged at his desk and sketched and painted messy scenes of mountains and impossibly green leaves and columns of sunlight shining through wisps of white clouds.

It wasn’t until Alex had to squint to see clearly that he realized the room had grown dim. He jolted out of the fixated haze he’d slipped into all morning, thinking the entire day had passed before he glanced at his alarm clock and saw it was only approaching the afternoon. Alex rose stiffly from his desk chair and studied the sky outside his window. Thick, black clouds had begun to roll in, slowly darkening the sky as they crept closer, and the low rumble of distant thunder reminded him of the similar growl of his empty stomach. 

He sauntered downstairs to the kitchen and dug through the refrigerator and cabinets, taking mental note of what they needed to restock on during their next grocery trip. Alex scraped together a meal compiled of leftovers and ate in silence at the table with his thoughts.

Bella dragging him into her mess, albeit briefly, had in equal parts confused and astounded him. But mostly, it left Alex not knowing what to feel. In some ways it sparked a flicker of hope that Bella would come around and things could return to normal between them, no secrets or evasiveness. However, she still withheld things from him, and it irritated his raging curiosity that festered all over again. Something was seriously off, and he knew that Bella had the missing pieces he needed to figure out what that something was — and despite this morning’s panic, she remained as closed off as before.

Every time the Cullen’s were near, close enough he could sense their presence, Alex became acutely aware of that off-ness even more intensely, like when a word was on the tip of his tongue but he couldn’t find it. It was akin to that feeling but on a grander scale that made his brain ache and itch and something in his chest shiver with either frustration or fear, he wasn’t sure. But Bella knew. He could tell by the way she stared in awe at Edward and how Edward stared as intensely back.

Jacob believed the Cullen’s were simply strange, like most everyone else did, but for as much as Alex wanted to believe Jake’s words, he struggled to blindly trust them and ignore the feeling in his gut.

Headlights shone through the kitchen window and the sound of tires on pavement broke him out of his thoughts. Alex quickly put his plate in the sink and leaned to see out the window. A familiar black Ford was pulling into the driveway, followed closely by the heavy clouds that now hung over the whole sky. 

He watched frozen while Jacob hopped out of the car and hastily shuffled over to the passenger side where he helped Billy out and into his wheelchair. The thud of the car door closing startled him out of his shock and he ran out the door to greet them.

The moment the air outside hit Alex he understood why Jacob seemed to be in such a hurry — the atmosphere felt charged with static and a light sprinkle was beginning to fall as he jogged over to them. He wrapped his arms around himself to shield the wind picking up.

“I’m sorry to intrude like this, Alex, I just wanted to bring this up,” Billy said and raised a brown paper sack in his hands. Although he addressed Alex, his eyes wandered around, searching.

Alex noticed Billy’s over attentiveness and flicked his eyes between him and Jacob as he spoke. “Of course, why don’t you guys come in before the rain gets too bad?”

As they hustled over to the house with Alex in the lead, Jacob avoided meeting his friend’s pointed questioning looks. He didn’t know why his dad had insisted on coming over this afternoon, or why when he tried to call the Swan’s and let them know they would be stopping by Billy had insisted he put the phone down.

“Is Bella here with you, Alex? I didn’t see the truck anywhere…” Billy asked, failing to make his tone light as they stepped under the porch.

Alex suddenly got the overwhelming sense that Billy knew more too. “No, she’s out with—” the roar of the truck approached on queue and the three watched as it parked on the curb, Bella in the passenger seat, “—Edward Cullen,” Alex finished the needless explanation.

Billy stared down the truck with piercing black eyes. For the first time Jacob let his sight flicker over to Alex who was already watching him.

“Hey Billy, Jacob,” Bella nodded as she approached them. She looked to Alex for some kind of explanation but he appeared more lost than she did. “Charlie’s gone for the day — he probably won’t be back for a while,” she said.

“That’s alright.” Billy scrutinized her. “I was just telling Alex I wanted to bring this by — it’s some of Harry Clearwater’s fish fry — Charlie’s favorite.”

Bella nodded again, a forced smile on her face, almost resembling a grimace. “Thanks, Billy,” she said and sighed in relief when Alex held open the door for all of them and she followed Jacob and Billy inside with Alex on her heels. Once they’d shaken off the drizzle of rain Bella turned to Billy. “Here, I can take that for you.” She shuffled into the kitchen without looking back once he’d handed her the package.

As Bella and Billy made tense small talk about refrigerating the food and where Charlie was out fishing, Alex sought to catch Jacob’s eyes again, seeking some kind of answer to this seemingly random and edgy visit. He situated himself next to Jacob who leaned against the edge of the table, purposefully brushing arms in an attempt to gain his attention. Jacob glanced down to where their arms touched but didn’t raise his eyes to Alex. When Alex nudged him with his elbow and inclined his head, Jacob peered at him sheepishly from the corner of his eye.

“Jake,” Billy called out, “why don’t you find that picture of Rebecca in the car for me? We’ll leave that here for Charlie as well.”

Jacob sighed and his brows pulled together when he answered. “Where is it exactly?”

“I believe I saw it in the trunk, but you might have to dig for it — you know what, Alex you wouldn’t mind going to help Jake look, would you,” Billy said with a pointed look at Alex. 

“Sure,” Alex said and pushed up from the table. “Come on, Jake.” 

Before they left the room Alex snuck a glance between Billy and Bella, neither of who noticed because they were staring down one another intensely. Everything inside of Alex screamed to stay, to find out what was being kept from him, but he followed Jacob back out into the drizzling rain.

Seated on the edge of the backseat with the car door open and his heels propped against the wet brick driveway, Alex stared at the house as if that would let him hear through the walls. Jacob had moved on from the trunk and was in the driver’s seat, door wide open with one long leg dangling out to balance himself while he leaned over the center console, digging around in the glovebox. 

Alex leaned forward to rest an elbow on his thigh and dropped his chin in his hand. “What do you think about the Cullen’s?” he asked.

Jacob groaned and rolled his eyes before plopping down onto the edge of the driver’s seat, mimicking Alex’s position. “Not you too, Alessio.”

The nickname earned him a smirk, breaking the dark look on Alex’s pale face. “I’m being serious, Jake,” he said, but he smiled nonetheless.

Jacob sighed again, in defeat rather than annoyance. “They make me kind of uncomfortable… unsettled, I guess. Sure weird stuff has happened surrounding them, but you could say the same thing about you, or Bella — all things considering since you’ve been here.” He watched his face as he spoke, but Alex’s eyes stayed on the house. “I don’t think it’s anything to get worked up over, okay?” he said and slid his foot over to nudge Alex’s from under the car door between them. 

Alex nodded and finally tore his eyes away to face Jacob. “Still no picture?” he asked.

“Nope, I’m beginning to think my old man has gone crazy. Let’s go back inside, Alessio, we’re not going to find it.”

Alex followed Jacob back into his house, eager to catch any words he wasn’t meant to hear, but Bella and Billy had already drawn their conversation to a close by the time he and Jacob came back.

“There’s no picture anywhere in the car,” Jacob complained when they walked into the kitchen.

Billy wheeled himself past Jacob as he dismissed the picture, saying it was time for them to go. Jake started at his father’s abrupt change and gaped at Alex, remorse written across his features. “I’ll call,” he said in a low voice to Alex and pulled him into a brief hug before helping Billy out the door.

Reeling, Alex turned to face his sister. Her brow was furrowed and her jaw set in a hard line as she watched them drive away. When the sound of their car faded, Bella’s features melted little by little. “I need to go change, I’m going to play baseball with Edward’s family,” she murmured and pushed past Alex to race up the stairs.

Alex’s mouth dropped open in shock. He had to have misheard her. Either the room was spinning or Alex was — he dropped down into a kitchen chair to let his heart settle back to its normal beat. He glanced at the clock; less than an hour had gone by but it felt like an entire day had passed instead. Alex dropped his head onto the table and into his arms, knotting his fingers through his hair like it could make it all make sense. He took one long deep breath and sat up when he exhaled. 

Determined to get answers Alex bounded up the stairs and knocked on Bella’s door. She flung it open, changed into a flannel and jeans. “What?”

“Mind sharing what the fuck just happened?” Alex floundered.

“I don’t know what you mean.” Bella backed away from her door and walked over to the old ornate mirror situated in the corner between her bed and the window. Alex followed her into her room and gaped, too worked up to speak. Was she really trying to pay dumb right now, Alex wondered and his face flushed hot with pent up anger. Bella pulled her damp, tangled hair out of her ponytail and began brushing it.

“Don’t do that, don’t treat me like I’m stupid, Bella. There’s been something going on for weeks now but I’m sick of being in the dark — I mean even Billy Black is getting involved somehow! I just — what the hell is even happening?” Alex’s throat ached as it tightened.

Bella glanced at him through the mirror, jaw still set but that guilty, borderline concerned look crept across her features. “You wouldn't understand, Alex,” she whispered.

“Try me.” Alex held his breath, frozen. He relaxed his muscles, afraid his anger might break the moment of clarity he felt unbearably close to.

Bella stared at him long and pleading before she turned away from the mirror and shook her head. She busied herself around the room, finding clothes to pick up off the floor and hangers to straighten — anything to keep herself from having to see Alex’s desperate eyes picking her apart. “It’s too complicated,” she bargained weakly.

“Try. Me.” He begged through gritted his teeth.

Bella sighed and slowed her pacing. It almost looked like defeat. “Alex, I can’t tell you,” she stressed. “It’s — it’s not my secrets to share,” she settled on.

Alex’s heart dropped in his chest. “What can you tell me?” he asked weakly, shoulders beginning to slump. “You’re worrying me, Bells, you never used to keep things like this from me, not to this degree. What is going on?”

“Nothing bad, okay?” she rushed out. “I promise. You have nothing to worry about.” She met his sad, dark eyes with her own and bit her lip as she thought of anything to say that might make it better, some kind of compromise to placate him. “I can tell you Edward will be here soon to meet Charlie and take me to play baseball with his family — or watch more honestly. I can tell you that I love him, Alex, more than I thought I was capable of. Being with him, it’s like this… magical rush, like I found my other half,” she let slip quietly. A sly grin spread across her lips. "Not including you, of course.”

Despite his tenseness, Alex rolled his eyes and attempted a smile, for his other half’s sake. “Am I allowed to ask how it went today?” He took the chance to prod.

Bella smiled sheepishly. “I was alright, I think. His family was really, really nice — and he showed me around their house. And god their house… It’s incredible,” she gushed for a moment then closed up again. That guarded look that made her press her lips together and furrow her brow reappeared. 

The phone rang and broke them out of their moment.

“I’ll get it,” Bella said and sprinted downstairs. Alex followed closely behind her, curious as always. Bella practically vibrated as she raced to the phone, but immediately sagged when she answered. “Oh hey, Jess,” she said dully, “how was the dance?”

Alex allowed himself to giggle when Jessica’s excited voice screeched through the phone that Bella held between them. Between her mhmm’s and ahh's Bella repeatedly glanced out the window. Right as Jess began to pry about her date with Edward, and Alex braced himself to catch any detail his sister might indulge her with, Charlie came in through the front door and banged around under the stairs, putting his tackle away.

Alex backed away from the phone and leaned against the counter. He crossed his arms as Bella hastily hung up in time for Charlie to waltz in and beam at them. “Hey kiddos,” he called out as he walked over to the sink to scrub his hands.

Bella and Alex made quick work of dinner and sat around the table in silence with Charlie enjoying his food. When he asked about their day and when Bella brought up Edward, Alex watched their quickly exchanged quips with wide, nervous eyes.

“You’re going out with Edward Cullen?”

“I thought you liked the Cullen’s.”

“Did you know about this?” Charlie suddenly turned to Alex who blanched at the two sets of eyes pinning him down — Charlie’s thundering scowl versus Bella’s threatening glare.

“Uhh…” Alex’s voice was rough when he spoke. “Sort of, I found out today before you got home.” He flickered his eyes over to his twin, glaring back as he lied to Charlie.

His answer seemed to satisfy as Charlie turned back to interrogate Bella. 

While they continued to banter Alex’s mind wandered. He imagined sitting around this table, him being the one to say he had a boyfriend who was on his way over as they spoke, and Charlie thundering through an interrogation with him about the boy in question. He smiled discreetly to himself, covering the quirk of his lips with his glass as he raised it to take a drink. He wished it could be that simple, but the mere thought of realistically telling Charlie made his stomach clench with anxiety. His appetite escaped him immediately.

Luckily Edward had uncanny timing. The doorbell rang, serving as a perfect distraction for Alex while Charlie stalked off to meet him. Alex watched unabashedly as Bella sweat bullets and Charlie turned his interrogation onto Edward, who remained the perfect gentleman. Alex was admittedly impressed, not because of Edward’s chivalry, but because he managed to gain Charlie’s hesitant approval rather quickly. It didn’t change the fact, however, that the twist in Alex’s gut reappeared when he let his eyes linger on Edward too long, or how when he studied his posture and his face and his movements that everything was normal, too perfectly and precisely normal. It unnerved him. Goosebumps raised across his body when he thought Edward glanced his way a couple of times, though it happened too quickly to be sure, like he was searching for something but didn’t find it and didn’t want to be caught.

Alex watched from the porch when Bella climbed into the huge shiny red jeep, with Edward’s attentive help, of course. The rain picked up considerably and hurried their departures, chasing Charlie and Alex back into the house and sending Edward and Bella hastily on their way.

“Good kid,” Charlie mumbled as he shut the front door behind them. Alex huffed an unamused laugh and shook his head, already trudging up the stairs to his room.

Hours later, dark having fallen long ago, Alex sat at his desk again, sketching messily in a notebook with his headphones on. Occasionally through his music, he’d hear Charlie get up and rummage around the kitchen or walk to the bathroom, the sounds letting him know he still waited up for Bella. 

His mind felt clearer, despite the lack of straight answers. He was getting somewhere with Bella, and Jacob was right, there was nothing to get worked up over. 

His lips turned up without his permission when he thought of the next time he’d talk to Jake — enduring the teasing for admitting he was wrong and Jake was right. He wondered when Jacob would call and he would get to share his recent revelations.

A door slammed and Alex jumped. He quickly ripped his headphones out and listened, startled by the loud noise. Bella’s and Charlie’s voices came muffled from the living room. Bella was nearly shouting, stomping upstairs. “Leave me alone!” 

Alex ran to his door and flung it open in time to see his sister dart from the stairs to her room and slam her door shut. The locked turned with a sickening thunk.

Alex froze, panic vibrating through his limbs as he looked to Charlie who shook his head and ran a worried hand over his mustache as he stood outside Bella’s door and tried to coerce answers out of her.

“I broke up with him!” she shouted.

Alex’s heart thundered so loud in his ears he could barely hear Charlie yelling back through the door at her. 

She wouldn’t. Bella would never. With how head over heels she was, it was unthinkable. Alex put a hand on Charlie’s shoulder and pried him away from the door to take his turn. “Bells, what happened? Please open up — what’s going on?” he pleaded into the door. The words felt too familiar of late.

Her shuffling in the room stopped for a moment before the door flung open and she rushed past him, nearly knocking Alex off his feet.

Charlie followed suit, shouting after her, “I thought you liked him?”

“I do like him — that’s why I have to go! I don’t want to put down anymore roots here and end up trapped in this boring town like Mom! I won’t make the same stupid mistake she did!” Bella wailed. She rounded out of Charlie’s grip on her arm when he reached for her. Fresh tears sprang to her eyes and Alex’s worried, panicked face smeared in her vision as she pushed past him.

“Bella, it’s nighttime, you can’t leave now,” Charlie said quietly behind them.

“I’ll sleep in the truck if I get tired,” Bella gritted out without turning around. She couldn’t stand the heartbreak on their faces.

“I’ll come with you,” Alex whispered, voice so fragile it didn’t sound like him at all. He stared, forcing frightened tears back as Charlie bargained with Bella — promising her Renee would be back soon, if she could just wait one week. This wasn’t like Bella at all, and Alex knew it. It frustrated and terrified him, and a knot formed in his throat as he listened to her brush off every attempt Charlie made to make her stay.

“Let me go, Charlie,” she said with finality. Bella ran out of the house and to the truck, Charlie stunned in his spot. Alex ran past him and followed his twin, not letting her push him away as easily.

“Bella,” he snapped, fresh desperation and anger boiling in him. His hands shook as he reached out to grab the truck door to stop her from closing it. “I know you better than this. Something is wrong — tell me.”

Her hands shook more violently than Alex’s and the keys rattled jarringly as she struggled to put them in the ignition. Tears dripped from her eyes and down her cheeks. “No, Alex, you don’t know me at all. I can’t stay here,” she nearly pleaded. 

“Please… let me come with you.” Alex’s voice tightened as he tried to hold in a sob.

“I don’t want you to,” she snapped. “Just because we’re twins doesn’t mean you have to be so involved in my life. You’re my brother — not my friend.”

Alex’s grip loosened on the door and tears blurred his vision, threatening to spill down his cheeks. He swallowed and his throat ached.

“Why can’t you back off, Alex?” she said with a shaky voice. “Why do you care so much?”

“I don’t know anymore… ” His voice cracked and his hands slid from the door. He backed away and watched helplessly as Bella drove off.

Fresh tears slipped down Bella’s cheeks as she drove. Alex’s crushed, betrayed face burned itself in her mind.

“Charlie will forgive you, Bella,” Edward reassured her and smiled gently.

“Yeah, and what about Alex?” Her throat closed around his name.

Edward didn’t answer.

In the Swan house Alex slammed the front door shut behind him. He couldn’t see clearly, his unshed tears warped his vision too much. Charlie’s hands were on his shoulders then, keeping him upright.

He probably wanted an answer about where his little girl had ran off to, Alex thought vaguely. “She—”

Charlie pulled Alex to his chest and squeezed. “I heard, son, I know.”

Alex squeezed back briefly but pulled away. He didn’t want to cry in front of Charlie, so he swallowed thickly and pushed back the tears until the world came into focus.

“I’m going to wait up for her, in case she changes her mind, or calls,” Charlie whispered. 

Alex only nodded and turned to go upstairs. His foot caught on the edge of the top step and he tripped forward. Alex barely caught himself in time and a shudder ran through him as the world tried to collapse all over again.

His sight blurred as soon as he shut his door and curled up on his bed.


	4. Monsters

Charlie sat at the kitchen table and watched the phone, rubbed his mustache, ran a hand over his face, paced around, and sat down to start all over again. By the third time, he broke his cycle and called his closest friend, not knowing what else to do. His voice wavered as he told Billy that Bella had left, and that Alex has been shut up in his room for hours since. The last things Bella had said were harsh, and Charlie worried about Alex too — he didn’t know how to help his kid that was still here.

Billy sat at the phone consoling his old friend for over an hour. In the living room, Jacob strained his ears from his spot on the couch to overhear. He’d already turned the TV down to almost mute, but Billy kept his voice low, and his words short. The snippets he caught were vague: 

“She’s a responsible girl.” 

“She’ll be alright.”

A knot twisted in Jacob’s gut as anxiety took root in him.

“Jacob,” Billy called out soberly. 

Jake startled. He immediately prepared himself to be scolded for eavesdropping, but Billy beckoned him over calmly. 

“Charlie wants to speak to you,” he said and handed off the phone before rolling back into the living room.

“Hello?” Jacob’s veins thrummed in anticipation.

“Hey, Jacob.” Charlie’s voice was morose and quiet — he’d never heard him like this. “You know I don’t condone you driving yet, but I think I can turn a blind eye tonight, if you wouldn’t mind coming over…” he murmured gruffly, like he didn’t know where he was going with his request.

A brief explanation later and Jacob was running out to the car, the hood of his slicker pulled up to shield the pelting rain. The knot in the pit of his stomach swelled as he drove.

“Alex hasn’t come out of his room since she left, and he wouldn’t talk to me when I went in — it’s been hours,” Charlie had explained. Jacob’s throat tightened and so did his grip on the steering wheel. He made it to the Swan’s house in record time.

Charlie was practically waiting at the door, answering almost immediately after Jake knocked.

“I can’t tell you how much I appreciate you coming over, Jacob,” he said lowly, almost embarrassed.

“Sure, sure,” Jake exhaled. “I’m going to go see how he is.” 

Charlie nodded and reseated himself in front of the phone, eyes lost.

As Jacob tread lightly up the steps, no sound gave away that somebody else was in the house — the silence was deafening. He nervously tucked a strand of hair that had fallen out of his ponytail behind his ear and paused outside of the bedroom door, afraid that when he laid his hand on the doorknob it would be locked. But it turned. 

Alex laid above his covers curled up in a ball, back to Jacob and the door. Jake hesitated, thinking for a moment he was asleep, but then he heard it. A sniffle. A minute tremble ran through Alex's body.

There wasn’t anything he could say to make up for what happened, Jake knew, so he tiptoed over to the bed and laid behind Alex and wrapped an arm around him. Alex didn’t respond to his touch or his presence, not at first. But then Alex moved so that his arm rested atop of Jacob’s around him, and Jake brushed his fingers against Alex's, trying to reach out. Alex threaded their fingers together and squeezed tight as a fresh sob bubbled up from his chest and out his throat. 

Jacob waited it out with him. He felt every shake of his chest with every sob, every hiccuped breath, how Alex tightened his grip on his hand when a new wave of tears came. He didn’t know how much time passed before he stilled, the sniffing subsided. Jacob shifted closer and pulled Alex to his chest, better wrapping his arm fully around his midsection, and gently sat up. He brought Alex with him, holding onto him firmly. Alex turned in his arms and latched his own around Jacob’s neck, pressing his face into his shoulder while Jake squeezed back. 

The remnants of his hot wet tears touched the crook of Jake’s neck before Alex pulled himself away, sliding his sleeve covered hands over his face while he fought for composure. Jacob quickly placed his hands on Alex’s wrists and pried his hands away, seeking familiar brown eyes. His cheeks were stained with tears and the whites of his eyes were bloodshot. The ache in Jacob’s throat reappeared but Alex met his eyes and smiled warily. 

A small, watery laugh broke from his lips. "I’m sorry."

"Please don’t be."

"Okay."

Jacob laughed with him.

“How did you know to come?” Alex rasped.

“Charlie called, he talked to my dad for a while then asked if I would come over. He’s worried about you,” Jake answered still holding Alex’s wrists in his lap.

Alex stared at him with a withering look. “I thought you were supposed to call first this time,” he teased.

Jacob huffed and pulled him back into a gratified hug, relief uncoiling in his chest.

After talking and bantering about everything and nothing, and whatever else that kept Alex’s mind off the pain and worry eating at him, the two boys crashed around three in the morning. Neither remembered drifting off nor had they meant for Jake to stay the night — the way they laid was evidence enough they had fallen asleep whispering to one another. 

Jacob woke up first, his neck and shoulders stiff from having his cheek rested against his arm all night while he laid on his stomach. The first thing he saw when he opened his eyes was Alex curled up in a ball, slouched and leaning against his pillows on his side, temple resting against the headboard. When footsteps creaked downstairs Jake pushed himself into a sitting position and gently shook Alex whose eyes flitted open and searched around. Eventually his eyes focused on his friend in front of him and the fog in his mind cleared.

“Is Charlie still here?” he asked in a gravelly voice. The grey sky barely brightened the room, the early morning sun struggling to pierce through the heavy clouds.

“I think so. I heard someone moving around downstairs just a second ago, I thought you might want to talk to him, it sounds like he’s getting ready to leave.” Jacob sat cross legged on the bed and watched as a thousand emotions raced across Alex’s face before he nodded and rose from the bed. 

Charlie was by the door strapping on his belt and shucking on his coat when Alex teetered down the steps, arms hugging his sides.

“Dad?”

Charlie’s head jerked up and he took in his son’s haggard appearance that reflected his own.

“Have you—” Alex’s voice cracked and he cleared his throat “—have you heard from her at all?”

“No,” he said quietly. “Not yet.” Charlie smoothed over his mustache before setting a hand on Alex’s shoulder. “She’s going to be okay, we’ve got to trust her. I know it’s scary not knowing where or how she is, but she’s smart, and she can look after herself right? You know that better than me probably.” Charlie tried to smile but failed, sighing as he gave a final squeeze and dropped his arm from Alex’s shoulder. “I called Billy and let him know Jake was still here — I have to go in today, but try not to worry too much while I’m gone alright?”

Alex nodded and watched Charlie walk out the door and get in to his cruiser. When he was out of sight Alex turned and trudged back up to his room where Jacob sat, unmoved. His long black hair had fallen out of its ponytail sometime in the night and it hung over his shoulders, tucked behind one ear. Alex resisted the urge to reach out and trace a loose lock with his fingers and tuck the other side behind his ear as well.

“You should probably get going,” Alex said and flickered his eyes to the floor. “Charlie said he called Billy already, but I’m sure he wants you home soon…” he trailed off. “It’s not fair to keep you kidnapped here to babysit me.”

Jacob studied his puffy eyes and slumped frame standing between the bed and the doorway. “Are you sure? If you want me to stay I will… it’s not babysitting to me,” he said lowly.

Alex smiled gently at that. “I’m okay, Jake, I promise. I can take care of myself,” he teased hollowly and sat down on the bed next to him, bumping their shoulders.

Jake narrowed his eyes, looking him up and down. “I know I said I’d call first next time, but swear you’ll call if anything’s wrong? No matter how small, I’ll show up okay?”

“I swear.” Alex’s smile widened.

—

When the house was empty and silent, the dust settled and everything still, the full weight of reality sank in. Bella probably wasn’t coming home, Alex realized. Would she finish school in Phoenix or Florida with Renee? Would he follow? 

Alex sat at the far window opposite of his bed, legs pulled up and tried to sort it all out. He didn’t want to leave Forks. The thought of uprooting from here nearly punched a hole in his heart. The small town was sometimes tedious and oppressive, but he had found hidden gems here. Jacob, of course, sat at the forefront of his mind. He was the closest friend he’d ever made, and so naturally too, other than his own sister — which no longer counted, she wasn’t his friend, he thought with a sharp pang in his heart. And Angela, he wouldn’t find another person with her tranquil aura as easily again. Alex never believed he would find anyone in the small town to accept him, but he already found several who had met him with open arms. It felt wrong to ignore that.

And he liked the cool weather. He liked the mist and the vibrant green everywhere. And the beach, he loved the beach. It never failed to soothe his soul, like he was made from the same atoms that lived in the cold ocean out there. The clean breeze that swept in from the waves was unparalleled — it made him feel renewed, alive, invigorated. 

Alex would miss Forks. He could never follow his sister if she stayed in Phoenix or Florida. 

A new knot tied itself in his throat and he swallowed it down. 

The twins had never been separated. They knew eventually they’d grow up and have their own places, but the abrupt rift between them was not how Alex expected it to go. They would have still been close, called and emailed every day if they went to different colleges. But now? A sharp spike of resentment and indignation pierced Alex when he thought of speaking to her again, of seeing her face to face. The last thing he wanted to do was make amends. She had gotten herself into a mess and when he tried to help she’d shut him out.

In his fuming Alex recognized that he didn’t fully believe any of the words Bella had claimed. They stung, but looking back he could better see the situation felt forced. He had been right to think it wasn’t like her, and she knew too. That’s why she was so hurried to leave, so they couldn’t pin her down with her own logic and reasoning and force her to stay. But then came the question of why did she leave in the first place — Alex didn’t believe it was because she didn’t want to settle down here, but if her reason for leaving was different, would she come back?

Alex forced himself to take slow deep breaths. He rose from the window bay and steeled himself. He tiptoed lightly to Bella’s room.

The twins had always respected each other’s stuff quite easily and well — they both liked their privacy, to have their own spaces and their things to be left alone, it was one of the biggest things they had in common. But last night’s commotion seemed a good enough reason to break that mutual trust.

Her door creaked faintly when he pushed it open. He hugged his arms around his sides again, discomfort threatening to chase him out but he persisted. Usually Bella kept her room relatively tidy — it was unrecognizably disheveled. Clothes laid in pools all over the floor, the bedding tangled, bottles flung around her toiletry bag while others were missing, clothes and hangers stuck out askew from the closet. 

Alex surveyed the pictures taped to the walls and the posters and ticket stubs and miscellaneous letters all collected over the years. His eyes timidly lingered on the pictures of the two of them scattered throughout — one here of them with lipstick on their foreheads and cheeks when they were fourteen and at their first Rocky Horror Picture Show, the same summer Alex had come out to Renee. Another over there of them with their backs to the camera, accidentally imitating the poses of the figures in the painting in front of them at an art museum, Renee had snapped it with perfect timing. Another taped above her desk of them as little kids in ballet. Bella had been clumsy and uncoordinated then too — falling at every opportunity — while Alex managed himself, not excelling but not floundering like his twin either. He hadn’t even blinked when Renee asked if he wanted to drop out too, because of course he would if Bella was, having her there was most of the fun anyway.

Alex breathed deeply and moved on. He checked the computer but there was nothing to be found, no insight to be gained. Bella regularly cleared her browser history but Alex thought it was worth a shot anyway. He found a library card next to the computer on the desk, no books with it however.

Searching her room was a dead end — it only served to make his heart ache all over again, so he left and shut the door behind him when he did.

Minutes ticked by like hours as Alex laid in bed on his side and stared at the alarm clock. It wasn’t even noon yet and he already didn’t know what to do with himself. He rushed up from the bed, itching to be anywhere but inside. He craved air — needed to shed the confinement of the walls pressing in on him, to find his way out of the fog he’d been drifting through, and so he pulled on his jacket and fled the house.

The air was cool against his flushed skin and it felt nice on his cheeks. He felt more awake and aware already. Alex walked to the back of the house and set off toward the trees, fingers brushing droplets of yesterday’s rain off the fern bushes as he parted and passed between them. He walked without real purpose, only seeking the feeling of moving forward and getting somewhere — that was better than being locked inside alone all day. The soft earth gained a subtle incline that turned into a steady hill. It made his legs burn as he pushed on, but the ache was grounding. Just what he needed. 

Time moved on its own accord once Alex lost sight of the house behind him and the signs of civilization faded away, no growl of cars or hum of power lines. He could no longer tell if it had been hours or minutes since he’d left and he wasn’t sure he minded. Not until he felt he was being watched.

That distinct, uneasy feeling in his gut hit him like a concrete wave. Alex stopped in his tracks and the hairs on the back of his neck raised. Every instinct inside him screamed to keep walking. Don’t stop. Don’t turn around. 

So he went on— hyper aware of every leaf shifting, every chirp, every rustle around him. He wasn’t sure if his quickened pace was what made it hard to breathe or if it was panic. Alex kept his eyes locked on his feet as he hiked higher, fearing that to trip over the brush or a branch would mean he’d never get up. The hill steepened and dropped off sharply to his right, like a sloping cliff — the land was shrinking, closing in on him, caging him. His breath resounded in his ears as the presence of another intensified. The forest was silent and it rattled him.

Alex stepped on a thin branch, a twig, and it snapped like bone beneath his boot. The crack echoed and made him jump. He looked up instinctively, and saw her.

A face whiter than snow in the middle of a mass of violent bright orange hair. She stood on a large fallen trunk 30 feet ahead up the hill, and she loomed over him. She was hunched forward, like a lion wound up to pounce. 

Alex’s breath stuck in his throat. She tilted her head to the right, studying his frozen figure. Then she snapped her head to the left. Alex’s blood turned to ice when he saw her sniff. His body was alight with fear and adrenaline but something told him running would provoke her to strike. Her lips spread into a menacing smile and her teeth, too white and perfect, gleamed dangerously.

She surged forward and Alex jumped. Her feet hadn’t moved — she was faking him out, toying with him, he realized. Alex slowly slid one foot backward, ready to turn on his heel at any moment. She lurched and faked him out again. He startled a few steps back, heart cracking his ribs as it tried to beat out of his chest. 

A slow high laugh slipped by her lips and Alex spun around and sprinted down the hill. The trees passed in a blur as momentum carried him as much as his legs propelled him forward. On his right he caught a glimpse of fire fly passed him. 

He slid in the soft dirt to a stop, nearly falling forward. She was crouched in front of him, an amused shine in her eyes.

Her eyes. Alex’s body shivered violently. He had been too far away before to see. Her eyes were dark red. Blood red, his mind whispered.

Helplessness set in, his new fear being they’d never find his body. He could never outrun her. 

She wasn’t human.

Alex studied his surroundings through his peripheral, not taking his eyes off of the woman, the monster, 20 feet in front of him. To his left another large fallen trunk of a dead tree laid, as thick as he was tall, the soft loose dirt bowing beneath the bark. On the other side of the tree was the sharp downward slope of the hill he’d been walking up this whole time. If he couldn’t outrun her, maybe he could out fall her — if he made it there before she caught him.

Alex dashed to the fallen trunk and her blazing mane rushed toward him in the side of his vision. She was above him, in the air. She landed on the top of the trunk and it cracked sharply with the weight of her landing, her arm swung down toward Alex but he dropped and slid through the loose divot in the dirt beneath the tree. He kept sliding, sliding, sliding down the steep hill. She roared in fury behind him and he thought his ears might bleed from the sheer inhuman volume of her voice.

Beating thuds shook behind him, rapid like his heartbeat. It was her footfalls chasing after him. She was catching up. 

Flat land was almost before him and Alex braced himself to hit the ground running. The force ricocheted up his body when his feet hit the earth but the jolt of pain quickly passed as adrenaline flooded through him again. It would be a straight race to the open from here. His legs pumped him forward until he couldn’t feel his muscles anymore but her growls grew nearer with every stride he made. The trees were growing thinner and he thought he spied the white of the house in the distance between the leaves. 

Her soprano laugh prickled on the back of his neck and icy fingers brushed his jacket. Alex choked when his body lurched to a stop and the glacial hand balled around his collar, grip like stone, and she flung him around to face her. She lifted him up, knuckles digging into his throat as his body dangled from her grasp. She tilted her head and her wide eyes shone with glee and her lips curled back into a smile that made his stomach churn. Her gleaming white teeth parted and she drew him in closer. Her hair tickled his face and impossibly cold teeth pressed into his throat. Alex’s pulse thundered through his body and a scream crawled out of his chest.

A force ripped past him and he crumbled to the ground. His scream turned into a sob that ripped from his throat before he could swallow it back. Alex pushed himself up and whipped his head around, searching for the flaming hair as he forced his feet to work again. 

The branches and leaves around him rustled violently, movement too fast to decipher, shaking loose leaves that floated down to the dirt around him. He spun and followed the whooshing as it circled him again, until a figure darted towards him. Alex stumbled back but a strong hand gripped his arm before he could run and held him steady.

Rosalie Hale stared Alex down, black eyes boring into him. Her grip almost hurt, almost. “Did she bite you?”

Alex’s throat was still closed tight — when he tried to speak a hoarse squeak came out instead. He fumbled through thought of how to make his voice work again.

Rosalie shook him, face growing desperate and urgent. “Did she bite you!”

“No!” Alex rasped out. “No.” He reached with his free hand and felt where her teeth had pressed into his skin, it throbbed deeply, like a bruise was forming, but no skin was broken.

Rosalie searched over him, eyes darting too quickly. The branches whipped around them again and another woman with rich golden brown hair appeared. She moved in a blur until she stood next to them.

“He would be on the ground writhing in pain by now if she had bitten him,” she said breathlessly, alert eyes darting around the trees. “We’ll take him to the house. If Victoria is targeting him to help James find Bella, he needs our protection. We don’t leave his side.” She spoke so rapidly Alex struggled to catch every word.

Rosalie’s grip on his arm softened the slightest but remained firmly in place and she pulled him along between her and the other woman as the three paced toward the edge of the forest.

The caramel haired woman turned her black eyes on Alex and laid a gentle hand on his shoulder. “We need you to come with us, I’m afraid you’re not safe here anymore. It’s lucky we got here when we did,” she said lightly and guided him forward. “I don’t know when you will be able to come back, but for now you’ll stay at our home — she won’t go there, it’s too risky for her.” 

For all the spiraling thoughts he’d been fighting off for weeks, Alex found his mind blank.

They emerged from the trees at the back of his house and as they herded him passed the driveway, a coherent thought finally broke through his mind. “What about Charlie? When he gets home from work?” Alex’s throat tried to close again.

“We’ll come back to watch over the house,” the woman said. “That’s what we had come to do today when we realized she was hunting you. We should have come earlier, I’m so sorry.”

Hunting. It echoed around in Alex’s head and his stomach twisted. The residual cold press of her teeth on his neck made his skin crawl and he rubbed a hand over the spot on his throat that she’d nearly ripped out.

“I’ll come back with you, right? After Charlie is home, you’ll bring me back?” Alex asked desperately.

The darker haired woman hesitated. “I’d like to, but it’s too soon to know what she’ll try to do.”

Alex stumbled over his feet and Rosalie’s hand on his arm tightened and lifted ever so subtly to keep him upright.

“I can’t leave Charlie, I need to be home — I can’t let him think I left too. I can’t do that to him, not after Bella—” her name caught in his throat.

The two women exchanged heavy looks and Rosalie spoke to no one in particular. “Then let’s hope this is all over quickly.” She glanced around the area, and upon not seeing anybody around, swung Alex around onto her back and latched his arms around her neck. “Hold onto me, okay? You’re not going to want to let go.”

Alex’s stomach flipped at the ease with which she carried him. 

“I’ll meet you both there,” the caramel haired woman said quietly, “and we’ll explain everything as soon as we get you safe, alright?”

Alex nodded with wide blank eyes, pushing off his panic and questions as Rosalie took off at an inhuman speed. He unconsciously tightened the grip of his arms around her neck and closed his eyes. The wind whipping in his ears muffled the world around them and as he pried open an eye he saw the blur of green forest. 

Then it stopped as suddenly as she had started and the world spun as it came back into focus. They stood in front of an immense house of windows and glass. 

“Come on,” Rosalie said tensely and let him slide off her back, holding onto his shoulder as he steadied himself. “Esme is already here, she’s called to tell the others you’re coming here.” She lead him into the house. 

Alex stared around the house in awe and fear. The inside was light and spacious and clean, and he immediately saw why Bella loved it. Rosalie lead him into a living room that looked so pristine it could’ve been in a magazine. The darker haired woman’s voice — Esme, Rosalie had called her — whispered from the next room, and Rosalie gestured for him to sit on the white sofa. Alex sat lightly, body beginning to ache all over as his adrenaline faded. He stared out the wall of glass at the dense green forest outside and imagined a spark of red hair emerging from between the leaves.

Esme’s voice broke through his thousand yard stare. “I realize this must be terrifying and very confusing for you,” she began softly. The way she looked at Alex wasn’t with pity, but with motherly concern.

“Yes, and no.” His voice was rough, small. Rosalie and Esme exchanged questioning looks with one another. “I… I’ve known something was off for a while. I still don’t know what is happening, but it makes sense that nothing makes sense at this point.” 

Esme smiled sweetly and Alex caught Rosalie pursing her lips, almost smirking. 

“You know Rosalie already from school, but I’m Esme, their mother,” she said hesitantly like she was afraid she’d break him. 

“Alex,” he said mirroring her smile, “Bella’s brother.” Esme smiled a little wider and extended a pale slender hand to him. He shook it and wasn’t surprised when her skin was cold.

“It’s nice to finally meet you, Alex. I’ve heard more about you than you might think,” she said and sat herself on the sofa in front of him. Rosalie stood behind her with crossed arms, but her posture was relaxed.

“Is Edward with Bella?” he asked, eyes snapping back to Esme.

Her brow furrowed with worry. “No, it was too predictable for him to leave with Bella; Edward is… elsewhere,” she answered. “I’m guessing that means you know we’re involved with your sisters absence.”

Alex nodded and waited patiently with his hands in his lap.

“Well, I suppose I should start from the beginning, but where is the beginning really?” She paused and contemplated before speaking again. “I’m sure you’ve also noticed by now that we aren’t… normal.”

“Not human,” Alex supplied lightly.

Esme nodded. “Not human,” she agreed. “We are vampires. Our coven, our family, does not drink human blood, though. We survive off the blood of animals. The one who attacked you in the woods is named Victoria, she and two others were passing through the area — they are not like us. They kill humans.” Esme paused, waiting for Alex to process her words before he nodded for her to continue. “Bella was with us yesterday—”

“Playing baseball?”

Esme’s smile was dazzling. “Yes, we were playing baseball, the only time we can is during a storm. But the other three heard us and they wanted to investigate. One of them, a tracker named James, and Victoria’s mate, caught Bella’s scent before we could get her out of there. The other male with them, Laurent, warned us that once James caught a human’s scent, he does not let it go until he… catches them. You see, hunting is what he does, the chase is everything to him. Bella was not safe to stay in Forks anymore and she needed to flee. So we devised a plan for her to run away — Alice and Jasper drove to Phoenix with Bella, they’re in a hotel there right now. Edward and Emmett are going north with the truck in the hope of confusing the tracker, misleading him, and they plan to turn and ambush him when he’s close enough. Rose and I were distracting the female, Victoria, but she must have realized we were a false lead and turned back to Forks to start over. We made it just in time to find you.” Esme regarded Alex with remorseful eyes. “We thought she might try to go to the house, to pick up Bella’s trail but there’s nothing to find — we made sure of that — so she must have turned to you when you crossed her path.”

“You’re lucky she wasn’t hungrier,” Rosalie spoke clearly, calmly. “She wouldn’t have bothered to wait to kill you if she had been.”

Esme cast a reproachful look at her.

Alex breathed in deeply until his lungs couldn’t hold anymore air and let it out slowly. Things were slowly clicking into place, but panic still danced threateningly at the edges of his mind. “And Bella knows all of this — what you all are and everything?”

“Yes, she guessed a while ago what Edward and the rest of us are,” Esme said. Rosalie rolled her eyes behind her. “Edward is quite taken with her. We’ve never seen him like this, the way he is with her. Obviously we try to keep our true existence a secret but because of his feelings for her, exceptions were made. Bella is a part of our family now, and we intend to protect her like our own, and by extension, you as well,” she said quietly.

Alex hid his trembling hands by wringing his fingers together. “I feel like I should have more questions than I do.” He laughed but it fell flat. 

“It’s the shock, when it wears off I’m sure they’ll come. Although I will admit you are handling this better than I had imagined…” Esme trailed off.

“A lot of things are beginning to make sense finally…” Alex murmured. “In a weird way — the fact that all of this is insane — it makes more sense than any logical reasons I’ve been racking my brain for.”

Esme smiled sweetly again and Rosalie’s eyes bored into him, unreadable. 

After turning down several offers of accommodations from Esme, Alex reluctantly agreed that a glass of water would be nice. She insisted Alex stay where he was as she silently left to fetch him a drink. 

Rosalie disappeared some time ago, and the light outside the glass wall had shifted to slant through the trees. It must have been nearing late afternoon by then, though time felt longer. It hadn’t even been a full day since Bella fled from Forks, Alex realized, though it felt like a week had already passed, and this morning was a lifetime ago. Just a few hours back Alex had been oblivious. Despite his hunch that things were not what they seemed, he never could have imagined Jacob’s story of the cold ones to be true. 

Jacob… The name filtered through Alex’s thoughts and made him draw a shaky breath. How long had the vampire, Victoria, been prowling outside his home — had she watched Jacob leave, did she think about following him, snatching him into the forest and… 

No, he wouldn’t think about that now. Alex swallowed the lump in his throat; he’d put Jacob in the crosshairs of danger and not even realized it. The urge to call Jake suddenly flooded through Alex, and the desire to hear his husky voice overwhelmed him. He needed to know he was alright, that Jake had made it home okay.

Alex startled when Esme appeared silently, glass of water extended in one hand. 

“Thank you,” he whispered and sipped it absentmindedly. “Would it be alright if I made a phone call?” Alex looked up to Esme, her hesitance reflected back in his glassy eyes. She pressed her lips together and Alex interjected before she could say no. “I want to make sure my friend Jacob got home alright — he left my house this morning, Victoria could’ve…” his words caught in his throat.

Esme sat down next to him and touched his hand gently with a reassuring squeeze. “He’s alright, I promise. There are others, not vampires, but those who are aware of the threats around Forks, that are watching over him. Believe me when I tell you that if he hadn’t made it home safely they would notice, and they would have made it known to us by now.”

Alex’s chest clenched with anxiety — how much more didn’t he know? Was he naive to trust these people, these vampires, he barely even knew? 

Did he have a choice?

Even if he demanded to call, they could easily refuse and guard the phone. And he had reason to trust them; they’d saved his life and been quite open about all the chaos raging around them. Alex supposed he should let it go for now instead of letting his nerves get the best of him. He would call Jake when he got home.

“Alright,” he said simply. “Have you heard anything from Bella or the others?” he continued, aching for information, for insight.

“Not yet,” Esme sighed. “We are waiting for Alice to see more.” At Alex’s furrowed brow she launched into new details. “There’s still so much to explain.” She smiled warmly. “Some vampires have gifts, extra abilities enhanced from traits they’d had in their human lives. Alice has precognition, Edward can hear people’s thoughts, Jasper can influence somebody’s emotions — just a few for example. What Alice sees is subjective however, it can change as the present changes. The moment the tracker decides to switch his plan, she will know and we’ll get a call with the details.”

“How long will this go on for?” Alex asked, mind spiraling with the realization that it may be a long time before he ever saw Bella again.

“We aren’t sure, but hopefully not too much longer. The only way to end this is to kill James. He will never give up, we have no other choice.”

Alex sunk back into the sofa, body shrinking in on himself with exhaustion. 

Then, Alex waited. He listened when there were updates, paced the front room til he was sure a rut would work its way into the floor. He was thankful that Esme left him to his thoughts for the most part; with things settling down, Alex couldn’t handle much more of anything, other than to process it all. A break down felt imminent with the way his overwhelmed nerves twitched and his stomach knotted. He was suffocated by the time the sky darkened. The dense forest grew with shadows and pushed against the glass, crept in on him. 

Hours later after finally receiving another phone call, Esme declared it safe for Alex to go home. As she drove in the dim twilight she reassured him Charlie would be home soon, and she and Rosalie would be keeping watch nearby to ensure Victoria was truly gone.

“Thank you,” Alex told her in a low voice before exiting the car. “For everything your family has done for… us,” he stuttered over the word and closed the passenger door.

Us. A word he didn’t think of anymore — there was Bella, and then there was Alex, but there was no ‘them’ anymore. 

The thought of Bella still ignited a bitter ache in his chest. She hadn’t even tried to tell him or clue him in. She never warned Alex. He had been in blatant danger — almost died, all the blood nearly sucked out of him. 

With the abrupt shift back to reality, Alex collapsed into a kitchen chair in the dim house, the only light came from the dusky sky outside the windows. A sharp tremor ran through his body. He’d been milliseconds away from death. His mind spiraled and he wondered if Victoria would have come inside the house had he not gone on that walk and crossed her path out there. Alex snapped his eyes up to the kitchen window and shivered as he stared out it. 

He knew Rosalie and Esme were out there, keeping guard, yet he remained rattled. Alex laid his head in his arms on the table. He would have known to stay in the house, to tell Jacob to go home or to go into town around people, or hell, even follow Charlie to work, if only Bella had just told Alex, warned him to look out and be careful. The little flame of resentment grew larger in his heart as he thought of how he’d been in the dark about it all. The feeling of being left out, abandoned, but in the most lethal way, stung and his eyes burned.

Alex tried to collect himself before he called Jake. Then again, knowing what he knew now, maybe calling Jacob wasn’t the best idea. The chaos surrounding Alex would only endanger Jacob too if he got too involved. A single phone call to check in and Jake would find a reason to come over anyway, even if Alex denied wanting company.

The front door opened and Alex jolted up, wiping his eyes.

Charlie flipped on the lights and called out. “Alex?” His voice sounded almost unhinged and a wave of guilt overtook Alex.

“In here, Dad.”

Charlie stalked through the doorway and flipped on the kitchen light, yellow glow filling the room and casting the view out the window into darkness. “What are you doing sitting in the dark, son?”

Alex looked around dumbly. “I didn’t realize it had gotten so late,” he shrugged.

Charlie sighed and looked between Alex’s seat at the table across from where the phone hung on the wall. “No calls I take it?”

Alex shook his head no.

—

Much like the night before, Alex laid curled up on his bed. Light rain misted outside his window and every gust of wind or harsh pelt of raindrops startled him. It was back to a waiting game. 

Charlie’s muffled footsteps paced downstairs; Alex couldn’t stand to watch him grasp for something to do — it reminded him too much of his own helplessness he was drowning in. It felt as though all control had been ripped from his hands and it left Alex unhinged. The realization that he didn’t know when, or if, he’d see Jacob again caused the cavern in his chest to throb, but until it was all over he couldn’t see or speak to Jake.

He fell asleep at some point, waking up to a dim morning sky and smoky mist shrouding the world. He went through the motions of the day for the sake of normalcy — some way to spend spring break, wallowing in terror and dread, he thought acidly. By the afternoon the phone rang and Alex’s stomach pitched into the floor. If it was Jacob, how would he turn him away? And if it was Bella… 

Charlie rushed to the phone while Alex leaned against the wall around the corner, listening through the sound of his pulse in his ears. Charlie roared questions at Renee who was on the other end — it was about Bella.

In a strained voice Charlie relayed to Alex what little they knew. Bella was in Phoenix, she was hurt and in the hospital, she was currently with doctors. They couldn’t see her yet. A few of the Cullen’s were there as well — they’d tried to go after Bella, to talk her into coming back but then she’d fallen down a flight of stairs and through a window.

The muscles in Alex’s body went numb. As Charlie filled him in the truth beneath the layers upon layers of lies clicked into place. The tracker had to have found Bella with how injured she seemed to be, but they weren’t talking like she was dead. Maybe the Cullen’s had gotten there in time to kill him before he killed her.

“How badly is she hurt?” Alex asked weakly.

Charlie sighed. “They’re not telling us about her condition, not yet anyway.”

The world wavered and threatened to disappear from under Alex’s feet. Rosalie’s voice resurfaced: “Did she bite you?” The words rang through his head. Bella could slip away — claim death by accident, turned into a vampire, and they’d never see her again.

Fresh tears sprang to Alex’s eyes. He needed to escape the agony he was drowning in, to resurface and find air again, it’d been so long… 

The sharp trill of the phone shook Alex as it rang again. Charlie snatched the phone back up and immediately his body sagged as he mumbled into it and held it out for Alex.

Jacob’s hesitant voice hummed in his ear and Alex’s heart ached bittersweetly. “Hey… I haven’t heard anything from you in a while, I was starting to get worried…” 

A wave of relief overwhelmed Alex and he knew that he couldn’t let Jacob go. He couldn’t lose him too. Bella had been ripped away too easily but he would fight harder this time for his friend.

“I’m okay,” Alex said breathlessly. “We, uh, we just got news about Bella actually.”

After a long pause Jacob suggested, “Not good news I take it?”

“Not exactly.”

“I’m coming over—”

“No Jake, don’t—”

“I’m coming over.” The dial tone rang in Alex’s ear.

Alex rushed outside to meet Jacob before he arrived. He would have to turn him away, it wasn’t safe for him around here yet. 

A snap in the forest behind Alex made him whip around. Rosalie and Esme peered at him from the treeline. Checking behind his shoulder, he jogged over to them.

“What happened to Bella?”

“I’m sorry, Alex,” Esme started, “we don’t have every detail yet either. There hasn’t been time for the others to call us privately. What we do know is that Victoria is gone, and James is dead.”

A weight lifted from Alex’s shoulders but the hole in his chest remained, uncertainty eating away at the edges. “Is it over then?”

Esme nodded hesitantly and smiled with half a heart. “Yes, it should be safer now.” 

“Where were you going?” Rosalie asked and eyed him, seeing the gears in his head turning.

“La Push,” Alex answered without a second thought. He’d already decided where he wanted to retreat to now that he wasn’t chained to their supervision.

Esme’s eyes grew minutely and Rosalie stiffened. “You shouldn’t… go there, Alex,” Esme strained.

“Why not?” He stared them down.

“Because we can’t protect you, if you go there. Victoria may be gone but it’s better if you stay close by — just in case. We don’t know what her plan is, or what she’s capable of. If you go on the reservation we won’t be able to follow,” Esme said lowly.

An unexpected surge of anger flared through Alex. When he looked at them he was reminded only of heartache. It didn’t matter that they weren’t responsible for the wreckage, Alex just wanted it to be over with. But the Cullen’s were a constant reminder of all of it. He saw his decimated relationship with Bella in the pity in their eyes, he heard his near gruesome death in their hesitant voices, he felt his sister’s betrayal in their ice skin and piercing eyes that raised the hairs on his arms when his eyes lingered for too long on their uncanny faces. 

And he wanted to forget it, if only for a few hours, long enough for the world to return to familiarity and to return to the last good thing he felt he had left. And they were trying to tell Alex no. The unfairness prickled his skin and burned his cheeks. He was sick of feeling out of control.

The squeal of tires on wet pavement neared. Esme and Rosalie locked eyes with Alex. When the sound grew clearer and turned toward them Alex spun on his heel and dashed over to the car pulling into the brick driveway. Jacob watched him keenly as he rounded the car and pulled open the passenger door.

“Could we get out of here?”

“Sure,” Jacob breathed out.

Everything was crumbling down around Alex, different pieces slipping away every time he turned around. The avalanche had passed, but they were still on the peak of a mountain about to tumble down, and he didn’t know which side they would all find themselves on, or how bad the fall might be.

Alex relayed to Jacob what he’d been told about Bella while they drove. He left out that he didn’t believe the story, but he didn’t have to — Jacob sensed his distrust by the apathy his voice.

“I don’t care what she does anymore.” Alex said staring out at the empty road, lined with tall dense trees that curtained them from the rest of the world.

The words jolted Jacob, and even Alex himself, as he realized it was true; he felt it to his core that he just didn’t care anymore. An empty, apathetic void was there when Alex thought about future messes Bella might get herself into, if she survived the current one. 

Jacob regarded Alex for a long moment before turning his eyes back to the road. Something had changed, big time — he could see it written all over Alex, in the exhaustion clinging to his body and the tension that coiled his muscles and the glassiness of his dark eyes. Jacob craved to know what had really happened.

—

Parked in the asphalt lot above the beach, the little black car sat alone, facing the susurrate waves and pebbled shore. The two boys stared out the windshield at the frothing tide push and pull. The dark ocean water glowed luminescent under the full moon hanging high and large in the clear indigo sky next to its twinkling companions.

They’d reached a standstill. Alex had grown quiet every time Jake asked about the past day — he wouldn’t even make up some lie to fill the silence.

"There's nothing I can do to make you tell me everything that happened today, is there," Jacob stated lowly, he knew asking was pointless already. Both boys gazed ahead at the ethereal water.

Alex shook his head with such slightness Jacob almost missed it in his peripheral. "Even if I told you, you wouldn't believe me," he pleaded quietly, his voice thick and fragile.

"You don't know that, not for sure, not unless you told me," Jacob quickly retorted, but there was no passion behind his words anymore, just a hint of a fool's desperation.

"Maybe someday, after we see how things turned out, I'll tell you. But until that some day, I can't."

"Sure, sure."

The gossamer moonlight wrapped around them through the windows of the car, tinted their bodies silver and blue. An ache had settled itself in both boys' throats, subtle, sneaky.

Jacob swallowed, his mouth much too dry. He turned to see Alex's still figure, unchanged. The slight furrow of his brow, the set of his jaw, the down turn of his lips, all like he was on the edge breaking at any moment. His shoulders slumped forward and his hands laid gently on in his lap.

Alex’s dark eyes were heavy with knowledge and unshed tears, looking like cold glass instead of the usual bright warmth Jacob was used to. The ache crept its way back up his throat, stronger this time, as he studied his hollowed friend.

"Does this change anything between us?" he whispered hoarsely.

Alex mustered all the will power in him to turn to face his friend. "No." He locked eyes with Jacob, sealing the promise with the weight in his look.

Jake nodded and swallowed down the knot again, never losing Alex's eyes. Cool fingers brushed Jacob’s hand and clumsily snaked their way in between his fingers, squeezing his hand tightly. He squeezed back.

Both boys dropped their eyes to where their hands met, resting on the seat space between them, pale fingers intertwined with dark ones. They fit together right. It felt good.

He dragged his eyes slowly back up to Alex's, somber and pleading.

"Swim with me?" Alex asked, voice quivering with desperation and wistfulness.

"Of course," Jake answered immediately, voice finally breaking through a whisper. He pulled Alex towards the driver’s side door and helped him climb out after he had his own two feet on the ground, never dropping his hand.

They walked down to the shore, sides pressed together with even strides. When they reached the edge of the stones on the beach, they tentatively let go of one another's hands and slipped off their socks and shoes before stepping out onto the cool damp sand.

Up close, the luminescent water glowed clear and crystal blue like it was made of liquid moonlight. They both watched out at the endless expanse of the watery horizon.

Jacob was the first to turn towards the other.

"It's going to be cold.” He challenged, shoving his hands in his jacket pockets.

"I know." Alex looked over at him, eyes a little more alive than they had been minutes ago, though his feet remained planted in the sand.

"Don't tell me you're scared of a little chill, now," Jake chided, and his stomach flipped as he saw the corners of Alex's mouth quirk up the slightest, something about Jake’s words striking him as funny.

Alex tore his eyes away as he pulled his orange hoodie over his head, his grin growing as he felt an icy tide lick at his toes before receding again. He tossed his hoodie over toward their shoes on the stones, shortly followed by his shirt.

Jacob’s throat tightened as he watched Alex undress, his mouth dry for an entirely new reason now. His breath hitched as Alex reached to undo his belt but Jacob ripped his eyes away to stare out at the waves once again, breathing unsteady and palms suddenly clammy.

Alex's pale figure waded eagerly into the arms of the waves. He was thigh deep when he turned around and sent a splash in Jacob's direction. "Come on, Jake, don't make me swim alone." Alex was smiling sweetly now, his eyes soft and happy almost. Jake stared at his best friend, who was stripped down to his boxer briefs in the middle of the night at a public beach and was now wading even deeper into the water, waiting for him to join.

Jacob bit his lip as a giddy grin threatened to overtake him. The butterflies fluttered raucously in his stomach as he stripped quickly, throwing his jacket, shirt, and jeans in a pile next to Alex's on the edge of the stones.

The ice cold water sent pins and prickles up his legs as he waded in, like the tide was electrified. He fixed his eyes on Alex’s pale figure ahead of him and pushed forward until his toes barely brushed the ground, and he swam out further to float next to Alex. His face was turned up to look at the unearthly bright moon above them and his eyes reflected the universe, never-ending darkness Jacob could fall into if he wasn’t careful, so he turned his face up to watch the moon too. Alex shifted minutely so his body faced Jacob’s. 

“Do you remember when I asked you if those crazy, unimaginable things in the world knocked on your door, would you go out to greet them?”

“Yeah, why?” Jacob searched Alex’s face but it was unreadable. “Does that have anything to do with the last few days?”

Alex ignored his questions. “Would you? Greet them, I mean…”

Jacob bit his cheek and thought. “If you were there with me, yeah.”

Alex’s eyes surged with guilty, grateful tears and he rubbed a wet hand over his face to disguise them. A heavy wave rolled in from the sky line and took their careful balance. The current pushed their bodies together, and Alex and Jake instinctively held onto one another to keep steady as they bobbed in the water. Jacob had one hand pressed against Alex’s chest and another holding his arm while Alex’s hands had landed on his shoulders. Jacob’s heart beat wildly in his chest and he couldn’t distinguish if Alex’s was too or if it was just his own pulse he was feeling at his fingertips. 

Alex surged forward suddenly and wrapped his arms around Jacob’s neck.

“I love you,” he whispered.

Jacob slid his hands around Alex’s waist and murmured, “I love you, too, Alessio.”

Then Alex withdrew as quickly as he had advanced and a sheet of icy drops rained across Jacob’s face before he could shield himself. 

“What was that for?” his voice echoed in the black and silver night. 

Alex laughed and backed away. Jacob smirked evilly and rushed his hand across the surface of the water to splash him back. Alex would have been out of range had another wave not come in and pushed him closer to Jacob — he raised his arms to shield himself and his laughter pierced the empty beach. Jacob took one stroke forward and reached Alex while he still had his face shielded and his eyes squeezed shut. He grabbed him by his waist and threw him several feet away in revenge. Jake turned to swim away and retreat but Alex was faster than he expected, and he lept onto Jacob’s back and locked his arms around his neck again, holding on firmly but carefully. Alex’s breath brushed against his ear and down his neck as he laughed, and it sent a shiver down Jake’s spine and raised the hairs on his arms.

With Alex still pressed against his back Jacob began swimming toward the shore, taking long and easy strokes.

“I take this as you admitting defeat,” Alex chimed. He almost sounded like his normal self.

Jacob grinned. “Well I don’t see you fighting me anymore either, so it’s more of a truce.”

“A cease fire?”

“Exactly.”

When Jacob’s feet could reach the ocean floor again he stood and held onto Alex’s legs at his sides as he trudged against the tide, until the grip around his neck loosened and he slid his hands away so Alex could plant his feet in the sand. They collapsed on the shore, laying down in the sand on their backs to face the sky.

“Alessio?”

“Yeah?”

“I know I called for a truce, but I have one more thing.” Jacob breathed deeply and slowly to settle his nerves. He tried to joke lightly, “And it’s not about the irony of you keeping things from me when Bella was keeping things from you.”

“That was different,” Alex said immediately.

“Is it really though?”

“It is.”

“Is not.”

“Is too—”

“Regardless,” Jacob interjected quickly before they could get too sidetracked, “I want you to promise me something: that even if you start keeping secrets from me, no matter the reason why, you won’t start growing distant… Like with what happened to you and Bella, I don’t want us to fall apart like that.”

Alex leaned up on an elbow and faced him. “Jake, has it occurred to you that the reason I’m keeping some things secret is because I don’t want that to happen with you? I don’t want you to get sucked into the chaos, too.” He dropped his elbow and the backs of their hands brushed as Alex laid back down.

Jacob huffed, “I don’t see how that makes any sense.”

“It does, please trust me.” Alex turned his head to look at Jacob. His eyes held such conviction that Jake couldn’t help but to concede, for now.

“I’ll trust you,” Jake said slowly, “if you promise me.”

Alex turned his face back to the moon and a contented smile spread his lips. “I promise.”


	5. Epilogue (Show Me)

Bella was back in Forks. She had been adamant about returning, according to Renee — Alex resisted rolling his eyes when he heard that. Alice and Charlie fussed around Bella constantly, making sure she settled back in alright and was as comfortable as the bulky cast on her leg would allow. The twins hadn’t had a moment to be alone together, only brief skittish glances at one another while surrounded by other people. 

The Cullen’s told Bella while she was in the Phoenix hospital that Alex was aware of the things really going on — they were vague about why, saying that he’d been roped in for the sake of his safety, but Edward was shifty when she pressed for more details, assuring her there was no reason to worry about it anymore, that they were all safe. Her heart rate spiked when he told her that Alex knew, and worry flooded through her. The moment she met Alex’s eyes when she returned, the tension radiating between them, Bella knew her anxiety had not been over nothing.

Almost a week passed before Alex and Bella were finally alone one afternoon after school. Charlie was back to working his normal hours, and Alice had left to hunt with Edward once Bella insisted she didn’t need any extra help this evening, she would be fine for one night.

Laid up in bed with a pillow propping up her leg, Bella finally faced her brother as he sat in her desk chair opposite of her. They needed to talk.

“I don’t know where to start,” she sighed weakly.

“I guess start wherever your mind takes you first,” he suggested.

A deep breathe in and Bella closed her eyes as she exhaled. “I’m sorry for what I said, I didn’t mean it. I was trying to do whatever I had to to leave.”

Alex shook his head. “And what if you had never come back? What if those had been your last words to me? To Charlie?”

“I was trying to protect the both of you!” Bella gristled.

Alex scoffed and rose from the desk chair to pace at the foot of the bed. “What good that did!”

Bella narrowed her eyes at him. “What do you mean—?”

“They didn’t tell you…” His mouth dropped agape, and he tried to reel in his anger, focus on making coherent words. “Why do you think they told me everything? Victoria—” his voice cracked and he cleared his throat. “She almost killed me, Bella. She chased me through the woods and if Esme and Rosalie hadn’t come to the house when they did I would have been dead.”

Bella’s breathing stopped and her veins thrummed with panic. “They didn’t tell me that…” She grasped for the words she’d prepared beforehand. “I thought if I left I would be protecting you from that exact thing happening. I was being responsible, by leaving.” 

“Responsible,” Alex whispered acidly. “Real responsible of you, running into the arms of your killer and everyone having to save you, ending up here, in a cast…” His voice was barely loud enough for Bella to hear. “It’s funny you complain about having to look after Renee — you’re more like her than you realize, needing to be looked after all the time to be pulled out of your messes.”

Bella’s eyes flooded with angry tears. “Look who’s talking! I didn’t tell you because I thought I was looking after you! You know, like I have my whole life.”

“Would you have ever told me?” Alex’s eyes burned too and his voice grew louder. “If I hadn’t been attacked and they didn’t tell me, would you ever have? Or would you have just kept putting me at arms length and pretending like nothing was different.”

Bella crossed her arms tensely and dropped her eyes. The silence was answer enough, and it gutted him again. “I guess it doesn’t matter. Congratulations, you can stop looking after me because I’m done looking after you, and I’m done caring,” Alex muttered her words back to her.

She grimaced as if she had been punched and her voice trembled. “Get out.”

“Gladly.”

—

After copious amounts of coercion and some minor, passive aggressive guilt tripping, Alex eventually agreed to go to prom with Angela. He mostly caved to make up for cheating his way out of the spring dance, and he truly did want Angela to have a good time, so if she wanted someone to go with, albeit platonically, Alex was happy to indulge her. They’d grown closer after returning to school from spring break — Alex gravitated toward Angela in the halls on the way to and from classes and at lunch most days, happy to have another friend to glue himself to now that he and Bella weren’t talking. Ever the observant one, Angela had noticed the twins’ dynamic shift immediately and made a point of reaching out to Alex. She never pried about the twin’s distance from one another and for that Alex was unspeakably grateful.

The contention between the Swan siblings was even more obvious at home. It was almost comically awkward the way Edward, Alice, and Bella would stare and fall into silence the moment Alex walked in the room. However, the fact that Bella was always surrounded by Edward or Alice, whether at home or at school, made it easier for Alex to ignore her and pretend she wasn’t glaring at him or trying to get his attention to talk again since their harsh last words to one another. 

“The level of drama rivals a soap opera!” Jacob had howled with laughter after they made it into Alex’s room when they’d hung out at the Swan’s house for the first time since the accident. “Seriously, Alex, what the hell even happened to cause this kind of tension because god damn am I missing out on something huge,” he said wiping tears away.

Alex shrugged off Jake’s question as he did every time Jake asked, but he let himself be infected by Jacob’s cackling and he found himself giggling about it too for the first time. They talked on the phone after school at least every few days, and despite the sunshine Jacob’s presence always brought, he grew serious a few times too — cloudy voice seeking reassurance that Alex was okay. Every time Alex reassured Jacob, he meant it. He did feel better — when he was talking to Jake — but Alex always left out that last part.

The day of prom Edward kidnapped Bella while Alex spent the afternoon at Angela’s house, chatting as they got ready together. They inevitably fell on the subject of Ben Cheney — Alex had been teasing her all week that if she wasn’t going with him, Ben would have asked her. Angela blushed furiously and shook her head to hide the smile that crept up her face as she admitted she was curious enough to give Ben a shot. 

“I don’t know, I wish I could figure out if I genuinely like him or if I only think I might like him because I know he likes me,” Angela reflected as they settled into the truck. “Compulsory requited crush — does that make any sense?”

Alex clutched his side as he laughed, other hand on the steering wheel. “How do you think I ended up getting involved with Brandon?”

“So you guys did have a thing,” Angela said mischievously. “I didn’t want to ask and perpetuate any rumors, but I had a hunch.”

“Well your intuition was right as always — we made out one time. That was it though.” Alex said and Angela smiled knowingly at him. “And I think there’s no way you’ll know your true feelings for Ben unless you act on it.”

“I agree, but I think I’ve missed my window, you know?”

“I guess we’ll just have to find out.”

Angela’s fretting melted into bubbly excitement when they pulled into the school parking lot. Alex helped her out of the truck and she hooked an arm through his. Alex’s dark blue suit matched Angela’s dress perfectly and she joked as they walked, “We make such a good looking couple we’re going to start rumors that you’re straight.”

“Or crush any rumors that you aren’t,” Alex teased under his breath as they entered the gym. 

Angela scoffed sharply. “What was that?”

“Nothing,” Alex said innocently but his wide smile gave him away. 

“I like boys.” Angela narrowed her eyes at him.

“Hey, me too — we have so much in common! And you didn’t say you only like boys,” Alex pointed out quietly. They seated themselves at the empty table on the outskirts of the dance where they recognized Jessica’s purse and Mike’s jacket sitting.

“I read Sappho, so what,” she said. Angela bit her lip as she stared out at the dance floor where Rosalie twirled and glittered as she danced with Emmett, dominating the space and pushing other couples to the side. “I admire other girls, there’s nothing wrong with that. They’re smart and beautiful and clever…” A blush rose to her cheeks and Alex raised a brow at her.

“You’re right there is nothing wrong with that, but there is something a bit non-heterosexual about it, Ange,” Alex said lightly.

“And that stays here between us.” Angela smiled and dropped her chin into her hand, content to watch the other’s dance for now.

Not much later Bella and Edward arrived and Alex forced his sight to stray anywhere that wasn’t them. His wandering eyes stopped when he caught a glimpse of Ben standing with a group of friends on the sidelines. Cheney repeatedly looked over to their table at Angela, who was glancing back at him when he wasn’t looking.

“Do you want to dance?” Alex turned and asked her.

Angela perked up and replied, “Sure.”

“Then go ask him,” Alex said earnestly, tilting his head in the direction of Ben.

“What? No, I’m not going to ditch you."

“Angela, it’s alright — go dance with Ben. Ditch me, I don’t care, we’ll call it even.” Alex smiled eagerly and at her questioning look he persisted. “Go.”

Angela chewed her lip in hesitation. “Come with.”

“I don’t think I should, I don’t want to third wheel,” Alex grinned, “besides, I would totally kill the romance.”

Angela shook her head but stood and slowly made her way over to Ben with Alex watching, ready to reassure her when she glanced back nervously. Less than a minute later Ben grabbed Angela’s hand and whisked her away to the dance floor. 

When Jacob walked up to the entrance of the gym his chest fluttered anxiously. This was stupid, he thought to himself as he searched the faces. He couldn’t believe his old man had talked him into this — what started out as an innocent mission had been manipulated into an embarrassing hell. 

He spied Bella, dancing with Edward, unsurprisingly. Just as he began to cross the floor to them Bella turned and met his apologetic eyes.

“Hey, Jacob.” Bella smiled. “What’s up?”

“Could I steal you for a moment?” he asked tentatively and glanced to and from Edward.

Edward handed Bella off to Jacob, who timidly put his hands at her waist and she raised her arms to lay on his shoulders. “Wow, Jake I didn’t realize how tall you’ve gotten.”

“I’m only six two,” he feigned nonchalance.

Bella laughed lightly and shook her head at him. “What are you doing here though? When I saw you I figured you might be here for Alex.” She tried to keep the implication out of her words.

“I am,” Jake chuckled a little. “I came to steal him away actually, but when my dad heard I was coming here, he, well…” Jacob’s face flushed with embarrassment and he looked over the top of Bella’s head, refusing to meet her searching eyes. “He paid me twenty bucks to talk to you, if you can believe that.”

“I can,” Bella muttered. “What did he want you to talk to me about?”

Uncomfortable tension coiled in his shoulders. “I swear my old man is losing his mind, but It’s more of a message that he wanted me to give you, so don’t be mad, okay?” He took a deep breath and sighed. “He asked me to tell you to break up with your boyfriend…”

“You’re kidding,” Bella said incredulously.

Jacob frowned apologetically and shook his head ‘no’. “It gets worse,” he groaned.

“Well, spit it out and get it over with I guess,” Bella braced herself.

“He also said, um…” Jacob grimaced as he spoke, “‘We’ll be watching.’”

Bella laughed with disbelief. “You’re right, I think Billy might be losing it.” 

“Yeah,” Jacob murmured, eyes wandering as he remembered Alex’s strange behavior too. “Sorry I had to do this.”

“It’s okay, Jake, I’m sorry for you, and I know Billy means well,” she said a little tensely.

The song ended and Bella and Jacob dropped their hands from each other, and Edward stepped in on queue to resume his place at Bella’s side. 

Before Jake could run away Bella caught his arm. “Um… I hope you guys have a good rest of your night,” she said and skidded away with Edward in hand.

Jacob immediately backed away from the dance floor and stood against a wall, scanning the crowd for the person he was actually here for.

Alex people watched, moving from Ben twirling Angela, to a group of familiar athletic looking boys dancing in a group with a tall, dark haired boy standing at their lead, and smiling when he saw Mike and Jessica laughing in a group. Jessica caught Alex’s eyes and motioned over to Angela and Ben, looking back to Alex with a devious grin and gesturing excitedly before Mike dragged her over to another crowd of friends.

A figure dropped into the chair next to him and he jumped.

“You look like you could use some rescuing again,” Jacob quipped. “I know somewhere way better than this,” he said, flicking a piece of confetti off the table with a satisfied smirk.

“I can’t leave Angela here,” Alex stuttered once his shock faded. He looked between Jacob’s grin and Angela’s smile with Ben. “I brought her here, I can’t leave her stranded.”

Jacob bit his lip and looked over to the girl Alex was watching. Angela was dancing with a small group of friends, including Ben, when she glanced back to the table. She squinted at Alex and Jacob — Alex had told her about Jake, and she immediately recognized him, and Angela also recognized the poorly hidden affection with which Alex talked about Jacob. 

She mouthed “Go,” with a grin and a wink, and waved them away. 

Jake didn’t wait for Alex to make up his mind, instead grabbing him by the arm and pulling him out into the night with him. Jacob beelined for the truck and it struck Alex that he didn’t see the Black’s car anywhere. “How did you get here?” 

“Leah… dropped me off," he said vaguely and waited by the passenger door for Alex to unlock the truck.

“Hmm, you were really counting on your kidnap plan to work, huh?”

“Are you saying you don’t want to come with me?” 

“Don’t be ridiculous, where are we going?” Alex asked as they slid into the seats.

Jake grinned. “Just drive and take my directions.”

Half way there Alex didn’t need Jacob’s directions anymore. “You’re taking us to the beach,” he said confidently. Jacob continued to smile in the passenger seat but said nothing.

When they pulled into a parking space, Alex looked down to the shore and spotted a growing bonfire in the afterlight. As they approached he recognized the figures around the fire. Leah was the first to notice them and the corner of her lips quirked from her seat on a log, Embry sat across the fire from her, shaking his head as Quil and Paul argued about the best way to build the biggest fire. 

Embry smiled lopsidedly. “Took you long enough,” he muttered to Jacob when he sat down next to him.

Alex slipped off his dress shoes and socks and rolled up his pant legs, immediately more comfortable in the sand. He plopped down on the log next to Leah who smirked and murmured to him. “Thank god you came with — I did not want to have to go back to that hell hole and pick him up.”

“Anything for you,” Alex drawled sarcastically.

“Alex!” Quil spun around and faced him. He held his arms wide open as if to display their set up on the beach. “Welcome to better prom.”

Around them soda cans and pizza boxes laid out on a blanket pinned to the sand at the corners with a scuffed up soccer ball and a radio playing music lowly. Quil plopped down on the blanket and turned it up, and Paul tossed a soda to Alex. 

“Rematch later?” Paul asked Alex and toed the ball. “It’s only fair since the last time you were at a disadvantage, though I bet we could still kick your ass even if you’re not beat to a pulp anymore.”

Alex snickered. “We’ll see about that,” he challenged.

The rematch dissolved quickly into roughhousing, play fighting, and kicking up sand at one another. Leah grimaced at the boys and reclaimed her spot by the fire, silently rooting for Alex as he and Embry wobbled at the edge of the water, trying to push the other in without being taken with. Alex eventually gained the upper hand and Embry tipped over, flailing as he splashed in the shallow water. Jacob rushed Alex and grabbed him by the waist, nearly throwing him into the tide after Embry, but Alex clung to him too tightly to be dropped.

When a lull settled over them and the flames of the bonfire shrank, the group unanimously agreed to go search for more firewood. Quil and Embry wandered off a ways down the shoreline with Paul in tow, and Leah drifted to the opposite end of the beach. As Alex stood to follow Leah, Jacob grabbed his arm and took a few steps back toward the glowing fire, pulling Alex along with him. 

A calm, slower song was playing on the radio and Jacob held out his hand to Alex. “May I have this dance?” 

Alex hesitantly took his hand and let himself be pulled closer. Jacob lead Alex’s hands to his shoulders and gently laid his hands on his waist. Alex studied Jake’s unreadable expression the whole time. “Why?”

“I danced with your sister, so now it’s only fair that I dance with you,” Jake said matter of factly and began to sway.

“Why were you dancing with her, by the way?” He had to tilt his head up the slightest bit to meet Jacob’s eyes.

Jake reddened and looked away. “My dad, he wanted me to tell her to stay away from the Cullen’s — even paid me and promised me a master cylinder for doing it,” he said and shook his head. His fingers at Alex’s waist fiddle with his dress shirt and he moved their feet as they swayed.

“And what did she say?” Alex pried.

“She brushed off what my dad said, commented on how tall I am, small talked,” Jacob drawled.

The corner of Alex’s mouth turned upward. “She’s right about one thing,” he said and rose an inch or two onto his tiptoes. The top of his head still didn’t quite reach Jacob’s anymore. A bright, satisfied grin spread across Jake’s face and Alex couldn’t tell if Jacob’s blush deepened of if it was the fire light playing tricks on him. “Why did you do all this?”

“Why are you asking why so much,” Jacob bantered, but there was no defensiveness to his tone.

“Why am I not allowed to ask why?” Alex grinned back.

Jacob rolled his eyes but his smile remained in place. “I did this because…” He sobered as he spoke, “because you’ve been through a lot since moving here, and I wanted you to know that you can always count on me. And I knew you’d be torturing yourself all night if you were at that prom wallflowering and trying to ignore Bella and Edward… You deserve a night away from that. Besides, I’m beginning to think my friends like you more than me, they kept asking me if you were going to come around again.” Jake laughed off the blush creeping up his neck. 

Alex's arms instinctively tightened around Jacob’s shoulders. “You make me look like such a bad friend,” he laughed quietly. “You put a new radio in my truck, you rescue me twice, and throw a better ‘prom’…”

“You can make it up to me later, it’s not like I’m going anywhere any time soon,” Jake hummed and held him a little closer. Alex could almost rest his head on his shoulder, if he leaned into him. “You know, what my dad had me tell Bella got me thinking.” Jacob bit his lip.

Alex groaned, “Oh no, not this again.”

Jacob’s laugh was like wind chimes as Alex dropped his head back and sighed. “Hold on let me finish,” Jake said and waited until Alex met his eyes again before continuing. “It got me thinking that whatever happened a month ago that you won’t—”

“Can’t.”

“—Can’t tell me about, it’s obviously a lot bigger and more complicated than I had thought it was, so I don’t hold it against you for keeping it a secret from me. I officially concede.”

A weight lifted from Alex’s shoulders and he surged onto his tiptoes to tighten his arms around Jake’s neck, pulling him into a hug. “Thank you.”

Jacob hugged him back, nearly lifting Alex off the ground. “Hey don’t get too excited now. Just because I’m giving up asking doesn’t mean I don’t want to be told anymore.”

Alex grinned into his shoulder. “I will, some day.”

“Some day is good enough for me.” Jacob loosened his arms around Alex’s waist and let him back down onto the ball of his feet, but before dropping from tiptoe, Alex gently pressed a kiss to his cheek and he felt the heat of Jacob’s blush beneath his lips.

**Author's Note:**

> Would love some feedback, whether that be comments or kudos, all opinions and input are cherished! Let me know what you think.


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